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Jun 21, 2013    |       63 comments

I Must Bid Farewell…

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For about the last eight weeks or so I’ve been having great difficulty with blogging.   I think there are a whole host of reasons for that beginning with my insane travel schedule.  Additionally, there are the obvious major life challenges I have faced since September 2012.   I feel like I was managing the challenges well and definitely moving on a good path toward financial freedom.  That’s no small feat when I stop and think about things. 

The situation that has developed with my ex-husband is different.  It is taking a lot of energy from me and I am finding that trying to keep up with the blog is causing me additional stress (instead of the help it has been up until now).  Maybe I shouldn’t have even shared the issue on the blog but it is such a huge part of what is happening in my world right now, I just don’t know how I could have stayed silent about the issue.  That said, sharing it with you generated comments that touched a nerve that had not been touched throughout this blogging experience.  I take responsibility for sharing the information and am not looking to cast blame on my readers, but I also have to be honest with myself and all of you — that comments suggesting I was/am being petty and somehow am part of this problem were the proverbial “straw that broke the camel’s back.”   As part of my own recovery regarding marital relationships, I simply cannot tolerate even a suggestion that I am the problem here.  At one time I may have been but I have worked hard, modified my behavior tremendously and have to stand up and say I will not hear that I am the problem.  My kids are my number one priority (by the way, got it in writing from my ex this week that he has someone in his life now that “is number one along with the kids” and I and the kids just need to understand that).  Say what you will about my bad choice in husband #2, but I never, ever, ever put him before my children. 

Now, am I saying that three or four comments suggesting I was being petty about a bathing suit pick up have caused me to jump ship off the blog?  Of course not.  I am being honest and telling you though that those comments made a decision for me and that decision is I cannot do this anymore.  I will continue to work toward financial freedom and could not be more thankful for the opportunity to use this forum to help get me there.  I truly could not have done it without the accountability factor that the blog brought to my life.  I will carry that with me and continue to look for resources to keep me on track.  I have paid off nearly $2,000 in debt already this month.  I feel cautiously confident.  I must move on though and huddle close to my kiddos and help them through this challenging and unpleasant time in our lives. 

Thank you to the blog owners and to all of you who cared enough to read and comment.  Be well.

Note from Jeffrey

With Claire deciding that it’s best for her to leave, we have an opening for a new blogger to take over Blogging Away Debt. If you think that you would be a good candidate to be the fourth blogger here (after Tricia, Beks and Claire). we’d love to have you apply. We don’t require that you have any blogging experience in the past, but simply have the willingness to share all the ups and downs which come along with paying off debt. We don’t want someone who has all the answers, but someone who is in the process of taking the steps needed to pay down their debt and get their finances in order — and share with all their decision-making process whether it turns out to be right or wrong.

There will be a small amount of compensation for this blogging position, but not enough to make it worth doing for any other reason than you believe that the blogging platform will help you in your debt reduction goal. If you feel you have what it takes to take over this blog, please contact us at info@1s0s.com expressing your interest. We will then provide more specific information about the blogging position, ask a couple of questions and request that you provide a couple of writing samples. Applications will be accepted for this position until June 26.

Jun 13, 2013    |       18 comments

Summer Plans

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By way of update, I have provided everything my ex-husband needed to get the children their passports.  I learned that he and the kids had to stand in line for near 5 hours on Saturday morning b/c the location he chose was that crowded.  I don’t understand him but also know it is not my job to point out to him the multiple options that would NOT have a wait for a passport.  Sucks that my kids have to experience this sort of thing with him but it’s important that they see the reality.  So they will be going on their cruise in the late summer and I pray for the best out of the entire experience.  Nothing has changed in dealing with him at this point.  He did have the kids call to say they’d be coming by to get DD’s bathing suit on Saturday.  My first reaction was to get her swim bag ready but then I remembered that I have to approach things differently now. I asked to speak to him and then advised he needs to buy her a swimsuit.  He wasn’t pleased and hung up.  He seems to want to treat me poorly, dump the kids as he sees fit and then have me available to do what I’ve always done.  He can’t have it both ways.

As for my summer travel, I read and thought about all of your comments.  I’ve decided to challenge myself to save a separate little nest egg from my PC business and my ongoing selling of things on craigslist and ebay.  If I save $1,000 by the proposed late July travel date, I do.  If I don’t, I stay home.  I will not lose money on the airfare.  If I cancel I just get the credit on Southwest.  I won’t be putting money down on the condo so there’s no risk on that front.  I feel comfortable with this decision as it sets limits and both addresses the danger of impulsive decisions but also is realistic.  For the last few months (as I’ve shared) I’ve had some tough days where I fear I am about to go out and spend crazy, unplanned money!  So far I’ve done well to avoid bad decisions but remember I even had to take random purchases back to the store?  I don’t want to be a nomad in the desert.  I honestly worry that when the debt is paid off I am going to go crazy and in the span of just a short time, be back in debt.  I want to learn to be balanced and measured about it and I think this Puerto Rico thing is a test.  I’ll have to be very honest with myself and with all of you if this test is to work and be most beneficial.  Fingers crossed.

Now I’m off to find stuff to sell…

 

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