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Is This Goodbye?

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When I said I was debt free, I always felt it had an asterisk like Mark McGwire’s baseball record. Yeah, debt free…except the mortgage. That stupid. Little. Asterisk.

But we sold our house in California, bought a house in Texas, and dropped the asterisk. That’s it. End of story. I’m completely debt free.

I quite literally dance in grocery stores sometimes at the thought.

You know how they say if you walk outside in the grass after you pay off your house, it feels different? It does.

So does this mean goodbye from BloggingAwayDebt? For now, yes. I’ve been debt free with an asterisk for 5 years and now the asterisk removed, mortgage free. I’d like to take some time to just…enjoy the heck out of it. Particularly because I decided to go to grad school in the fall (taking one class at a time) and I’d like to really enjoy sitting in the yard, feeling the grass between my toes, and treasuring these moments with my kids.

I will drop by on occasion to say hi or ask a question. Y’all have given such great ideas and advice.

Here are my last thoughts, please pay things off. Sure, you can do crazy financial math, keep debt, invest into something else, move debt around, BUT I promise you… nothing feels better than no debt. The peace is a warm hug to the soul.

Be kind to the next person. Keep him or her accountable… but understand that no one is perfect, and we all fall off the rails sometimes. Keep moving forward. Don’t be normal.

Normal sucks.

Thanks for reading.

I’m a Trust Fund Baby!

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I’ve been asking my parents, who are in their late 70’s, for years to set up some sort of trust or will but they have always insisted it was morbid and ignored me. Later this month, my father is undergoing an extensive surgery and he called me last night and asked if I had a minute to chat. He wanted to let me know that he met with an attorney and set up a trust. ‘Kiddo, I know I don’t have much, but I don’t want you to suffer like me.’

Why the change of heart? My grandmother died several years ago and her estate, as tiny as it is, has not been settled. She owns a small cabin in the woods. Half the kids want to sell. The other half want to keep. My dad said he didn’t care which upset both sides. Even though there is very little money involved, the fighting has been awful, and relationships have been destroyed.

My parents don’t have a lot of money, no retirement, and very little equity in their home. So why did I push so hard for a trust (or at the very least, a will)? First, because California requires probate unless you have a trust. This drags out the difficulty during an already difficult time. And second (and most important), because I want to honor what they want to do with what they have. I don’t care who gets what, just tell me what you want me to do. What would they like us to do with their house? Their cars? The contents of their house? What about his business? The attorney suggested we all get together and mark the items we want in their home and have discussions on things that are wanted by more than one child. While none of us are the money-grubbing types, we are sentimental, and I could see us struggling to figure out who got mom or dad’s wedding rings or my dad’s pipe collection that smells just like him when you open it. I want to honor their wishes and I can’t do that if I don’t know what they are.

We talked for an hour as he carefully explained what was in the trust and how he would like things handled. I felt so much better knowing what he wanted.

My husband and I set up a trust over ten years ago even though we were deep in debt. In the crazy off chance that we both died, we wanted our families to know exactly what to do with our kids. We also made sure we carried enough life insurance so the kids wouldn’t be a financial burden and outlined exactly how the money should be spent. Morbid? Yup. But a loving thing for parents to do? Yup. We revisit and revise when needed and we still carry enough life insurance to ensure they aren’t a financial burden. We’ll do this until the youngest is out of the house.

You don’t have to be old to write a will. If you are an adult, you should have one. It’s one of the best ways to show people you love them. Make their burden light by not asking them to guess your wishes.

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