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Mar 26, 2013    |       14 comments

Update on Dave Ramsey’s Course

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As I shared a few weeks ago I was planning on signing up for Financial Peace University at my church.  Time got away from me and I decided not to sign up for this round.  It is probably for the best that I wait until the move is complete and I’m a bit more settled.  The kids are also heading into a crazy busy last nine weeks of school.  I want to be in a place where I can focus and not be frantically participating. The church does offer them on a pretty regular basis.

Speaking of church, we had a sad event strike our community recently.  A church member and employee stole $25,000.  We have learned that this individual is battling addiction and the money went to support his habit.  What a tragedy!  This man is someone we all know and saw on a regular basis as a man dedicated to faith and family.  Our pastor sent out a beautiful email reminding all of us of our own human frailty and that this person is deserving of love and support in this difficult time.  The email was one I went back to and read several times.  While struck by the pain of this individual family and our church community, I also read it from a very personal perspective.

We are all flawed.  That is what it means to be human.  A huge part of my recovery from bad relationship choices is recognizing I am human and forgiving myself.  In spite of my debt load, I am a perfectionist and my second marriage was the result of excessive berating of myself for the failure of the first.  Now I’ve said before this isn’t a self-help blog but so much of this stuff is tied to my financial mistakes too.  I married the second husband knowing, on some level, that it was a bad choice.  But in my confused state that was the result of huge disappointment related to the first marriage, I somehow thought that I deserved an unpleasant relationship!  Unpleasant is a very nice way of describing my second marriage and I have to use that word right now b/c every other word that comes to mind is profane.  🙂

That’s the rough news.  The good news is I am connecting the dots!  With the help of a phenomenal family therapist (that #2 and I did marriage counseling through), I am connecting the dots!  And that is another reason I’m finding financial “wins.”  My entire mindset is changing and instead of seeking out negative reinforcements of my negative mental programming, I am seeking very different, positive self-talk.  I DO deserve financial freedom.  I DO NOT need more stuff to distract myself from the recordings in my head!  It’s that change that is creating the snowball effect in all areas of my life! I realize all of this sounds very Stuart Smalley of me but what can I say?  The moment struck me that this needed to be shared!

Woo Hoo!  Let’s hear it for forgiveness and mercy and always knowing that today is a new day!

Mar 22, 2013    |       15 comments

2012 Taxes

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I have heard from my CPA friend and I am smiling big with gratitude!  Thanks to his guidance upon my ex’s move out, I made major withholding adjustments for the last four months of 2012.   As a result, I will owe less than $500.  I cannot begin to tell you what a relief this is!  And there’s more great news:  I can re-adjust my current withholdings because I was on track to get a refund for 2013!   Answered prayers my friends…answered prayers!  I was having near $900 PER PAYCHECK withheld!  I know I make a good income but losing $1800 per month hurts!  AND, let me just throw my shoulder out here patting myself on the back…I was STILL able to make payments toward debt and not incur any new debt.

I am a new person!  Truly!  I never thought I could do this.  Just a year ago I was spiraling out of control.  Bouncing checks!  Yes, seriously.  Only making minimum payments and sometimes scrounging to do even that!  I didn’t have money left after pay day and could not figure out why!  My debit card was flaming hot with the constant use!  And then I started blogging.  I slowly, SLOWLY started keeping track of every dime I spent and started downsizing my life in every possible way I could think of.  Remember when I went to the hair salon every 6-8 weeks for a $200 cut/color/style?!  My last salon visit was in December and I don’t plan to go back until June.  The examples are many and for those of you who have been reading since the beginning, you’ll surely remember the changes.  Have I hit major bumps in the road?  Uh, yea.  Like a surprise divorce!  And other smaller hiccups too.

I want people who are in debt to see my story!  I want to motivate others and, in turn, be motivated!  It has not and will not be easy but each of us can make changes to turn our sinking financial ship around.  Don’t be afraid and don’t wait another day to start this process.  You will find freedom like you’ve never known.

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