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Posts tagged with: debt

Steph’s Spouse Situation- Part One

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Sunday I wrote about my work situation.  Now, I want to talk about the relationship my husband and I have and how we deal with our debt.

My husband is a wonderful, wonderful man.  For our entire marriage if I were to merely mention that I want something he has done everything in his power to make it happen.   I don’t mean to say that he’s good because he gives me “stuff”.  What I mean is that he loves me and will do everything he can to make me happy. I cannot tell y’all how much I love that man.  Gushiness aside, we are totally different when it comes to just about everything and money management is no different.

I will nickel and dime us to death.  What I mean by that is big purchases cause great anxiety but a few dollars here and there don’t bother me at all. This drives my husband crazy because sometimes the nickels and dimes add up to more than a large purchase would. I will also settle for something because it’s less expensive than what I really want and so that costs us more in the long run.  This also drives him crazy.  He would rather pay more and get exactly what he wants than to settle or to buy something cheap that won’t hold up. He feels like we work hard so if we want something, and we can afford it, then we should get it.  I shared this line of thought for a long time but then I started to feel like getting out of debt was something that we needed to do.  It’s hard to explain but I just feel like it’s the right thing to do, does that make sense?  At first, he thought I was nuts.  He felt like we could afford our bills and what was the point of working hard if we couldn’t enjoy the financed fruits of our labor?  When he saw how much getting out of debt meant to me, he started to get more on board.

So, we started on this getting out of debt journey.  It wasn’t long before it was clear to both of us that while we were headed for the same goal, our reasons for reaching that goal were different. I want to get out of debt because I feel like getting into debt in the first place was wrong.  I feel like we had no business buying things that we didn’t have the cash for and I want to teach our girls that they should rely on God and themselves for all that they have, not some bank.  My husband has no problem with debt and feels like sometimes it’s smart to use the banks money to make our money work better for us. The reason he wants out of debt is because he wants to be able to retire in his fifties.  He wants us to be able to do what we want and not be tied down to work.

Our differing reasons haven’t been too much of a problem so far because the goal is the same. I’m hoping it stays that way.  What about y’all?  Do any of you find yourself in a similar situation with your partner?


Need to grow a back bone!

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Everyone now knows how we’re trying to cut back on eating out (we went over budget in this category last month – budgeted $75 but spent $110). So when a friend suggested we meet for lunch, I told her I was trying to cut back eating-out and we decided to go to the mall instead. She had something she needed to buy and I am absolutely fine with window-shopping (shopping is not a weakness of mine).

So we walked around chatting and catching up a little and one of the stores she wanted to go to was Express. When we got there, she pulled 2 coupons out of her purse for a free $15 (no minimum purchase, but non-sale items only). She handed one to me and said to use it because it was a free $15 that would go to waste. I said, “no thanks” but she insisted.

I wanted to find something less than $15 because I could just get it for free (the coupon allowed this). So I’m walking around the store and looking at price tags and everything is WAY more than $15. I guess it’s been awhile since I’ve been but everything just seemed so much more expensive than I remember!?! Shirts and tanks were way more than $15 and even all the costume jewelry was too expensive (I’m talking, $30+). There was literally not a single non-sale item in the store for $15 or less. So finally I find a pair of tights that cost $20 (I would get $15 off and still have to pay an additional $5).

I’m standing in line thinking how I don’t want to spend this money, and I don’t care about the stupid tights, and how did I get in this situation? I’m thinking about how annoying its going to be when I have to come back to the mall and return these tights because – for some reason – I suddenly have no backbone and can’t just put the tights down and say, “NO!”

And we get to the cash register. And it turns out the tights were on-sale so the coupon couldn’t be used.

I was SOOOO thankful because it gave me the excuse to just walk away! I turned to my friend, handed back the coupon, and said I hadn’t even really cared about the tights anyway.

How ridiculous is this? I was literally planning out when I would have time to come back to the mall to return these tights while I was standing in line waiting to buy them!!! What’s wrong with me!!!