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Jul 7, 2018    |       6 comments

Financial Self Realizations

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I spent the bulk of the month of July alone. The kids were at camp. I work from home. It was very quiet and it was really good for me.

Those who have been following me here at BAD know the last 4 years have been exceptionally hard. Significant loss of income, several moves, kids moving out. It has been hard.

When I met with a counselor recently to discuss, well, we went back 15 years…she immediately brought up PTSD. Not the night sweats and violent outbursts from the movies, although, I’m sure I’m guilty of those. But moreso, the extreme stress and continually being in reactive mode versus proactive.

It was an eye opening conversation. And I’ve had a lot to think about the last few weeks.

Single Income Household

As a result, I’ve done a lot of digging around on single moms and money, even wrote this post over the KidsAintCheap.com. My editor would say it’s a hot mess, but in reality that research was a jumping off point for a lot of eye opening moments for me.

It really made me realize that I have been in “emergency” mode for lack of a better term for most of the last 11 years since I became a single mom. And probably even further back then that as my ex-husband hit me for the first time 1 week after we married in the fall of 2002.

While researching single income families, from the positive side of things, it made me realize I was just thrown into this life.  There was no preparation or working up to it as so many of the experts of single income families recommend. It was just thrust upon me.

And since then, I’ve been reacting to every new emergency, decision, move or change with no thought to planning. I know you are probably saying, well duh, Hope, but this realization has been so eye opening for me.

Financial Self Realizations

It has also been very helpful to know that I am not alone in my struggle. Seriously, do you know how many times I hear about other single mom’s who father-in-law bought them a house to live in after the split or whose parents stayed close to help out? My experience has been quite the opposite, I have truly been alone in this since day 1.

single mom statistics

Statistics from Single Mother Guide

And as qualified as I am for work and as focused as I have been on getting work, well, it’s much easier than it seems. I think between typical W2 jobs and contract jobs including those through Upwork and Guru, I have probably applied for upwards of 500 jobs in the last 5 months alone.

But look at these statistics, over 1/3 of moms in my same position are struggling. And worse than that, the mothers like me are raising over 25% of children under 18. This is a problem.

A Plan is Forming

I am still digging out of my head and all these new realizations and thoughts. And I’m also still digging into what it means to be a single income family. Not from the poverty, whoa is me, single mom point of view, but from the this is the choice I want to make, what do I do.

It’s just a change in perspective. And even though I’m starting late, I’m embracing this choice, this single income life. And now I need to catch up from the last 11 years of being reactive and start being proactive.

Warning: questions forthcoming…

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Jul 4, 2018    |       3 comments

Economics of an Only Child

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For the next 2 1/2 weeks, I will only have one child at home, Princess. This will be a completely new experience for me. And it’s gotten me thinking about the economics of an only child.

Less food, less water, less laundry detergent and so on. Then there’s the flip side of less people to complete chores around the house, entertain one another and consider when making plans.

I realize that by the time we adjust to not having Gymnast home, he will be on his way back, but this has gotten me thinking about the future. Princess will graduate in just a couple of years and is chomping at the bit to head off to college already.

Economics of an Only Child

Let’s talk about the economics of single child…

Back in 2013 Time published an article title The Economic Reason for Having Just One Child.

“According to the USDA, a child born in 2011 will cost an average of $234,900 to raise to age 18. If your household income is over $100,000, you can raise that number to about $390,000. Yes, there are some savings after the first child — you don’t have to buy another high chair! — but it’s not as though you get a huge volume discount on subsequent offspring. There are also opportunity costs of a mother’s loss of income from parental leave, scaling back hours or dropping out of the workforce entirely. No wonder, according to the USDA, two-parent households with two children devote over one-third of their income to their kids. Add it all up and there’s a strong economic case for stopping at one child.”

I will be honest, I did not consider the “whole” cost of raising a child when I started having children. And I really never considered having just one child either.

When adopting the twins became an option, I certainly did consider the financial implications. The cost of car insurance and college was at the top of my list when I was faced with that decision. In the end, I went with my heart rather than the numbers.

Did you consider the economics when you considered having children? And when you started expanding your family?

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