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Handling Money as a Couple

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There is a good chance that my boyfriend will be moving to Georgia this fall. We met on a dating app almost three years ago and have had very limited in person interaction. But we are in a committed relationship and have talked long term, even marriage.

But now reality is here…he may be here and accessible and an even bigger part of my/our life. I am thrilled, beyond thrilled. But also a bit scared if I am completely honest.

The kids are all aware of the situation and know how serious our relationship is. They are all very open to it and understand what it means to me. But it is different…we have had no men in our lives for what 13 years. I didn’t even date until 3 years ago. And those dates did not meet my kids…at all!

So this post is all about a question…or questions.

Couples and Money

We have talked extensively about our money goals. While he has no debt, he knows that I do. On the flip side, he is very used to spending his money how he wants to, on him. While I am pretty frugal, and becoming even more so.

Name Brand Gifts

It was pretty funny, earlier in our relationship, he wanted to buy me a really expensive, name brand purse…I was shocked. And made it clear to him that if that was what he thought I would want as a gift, he didn’t know me at all. (He was inspired by watching what his friends did for their significant others.) We’ve come along way since then, but there are definitely still money things that come up. And I guess I’m a little gun shy because of my marriage. I’ve recently sent him a Dave Ramsey book just to try to make sure we are on the same page. (No, I’m not a Dave Ramsey addict, but I think the concepts are pretty on point for me.)

Share Your Wisdom & Experiences

I want to hear from you. I want the BAD Community guidance as I think and we talk about really becoming a true couple.

  1. He does have kids but they are grown and will not live near us. And he is very excited about being involved with my kids lives as much as they will allow him. Any tips for easing into a relationship/blended family type situation?
  2. Mixing money? I’m against this at this point. My marriage had tremendous money issues. And I still have 3 kids to get grown…for lack of a better way to put that. How does it look when you get involved with a single parent?
  3. As we get more serious, how do you head off money issues? It is super important to me that we get on the same page, sit down and speak regularly about our goals and such.

I don’t know. I am super thrilled about him coming. But I am also really scared. This will be a big change for me, for us.

I’d love any tips from people who have started serious relationships as single parents.

 

Doing it again…No Spend September

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Our no spend August went wonderfully and I am thrilled with the amount paid toward debt. Now that we have settled into our school routine, managed our challenging food/meal requirements and schedules and have another uneventful month ahead…

We are going to do another no spend month beginning tomorrow

First, I’ve got to restock our cupboards as we have really eaten through most of my stockpile.

What’s Going on This Month

These no spend months are not all that challenging when I look at the monthly calendar. So timing is definitely everything when it comes to make them a success.

  • The kids only have the one day out of school for Labor Day.
  • It is my mom’s birthday month, but we actually sent her presents with my dad’s previously.
  • While I am beginning to plan for the holidays, Christmas specifically, and do want to get my Texas family gifts ready to take with us at Thanksgiving, there is nothing I must purchase now. And this month of no spending will give me time to put some thought into it so that next month, I can get them all created and/or purchased and wrapped.

With all that in mind, it’s the perfect time for yet another No Spend Month.

This is my attitude these days. I have definitely embraced the bloom where you are planted mentality and have created a home and a life I love here.

Kid Update

There are lots of things going on in the kids lives.

History Buff

History Buff is facing some of his first adult disappointments. His full time job has denied his latest vacation requests. (He has not requested any days off since February.) They have denied his request for a long weekend in October, so he won’t be able to take our short family trip. (It was supposed to be for the state fair, but since that has been cancelled, we are brainstorming ideas for a quick 3 day trip.)

His request for our Thanksgiving Trip to Texas has also been denied. He’s more than a bit upset by that one. He has one more request in, to go see his girlfriend in Virginia for her birthday this fall. We will see how that one goes.

Otherwise, he continues to live at home, work and play video games…that is his whole life.

Sea Cadet

Sea Cadet will get back into the swing of things this month. He’s picked up full time work shifts from his part time job at an EMT for our local county. He’s had his interview for the fire fighter/EMT one county over but hasn’t heard back yet.

When he’s not working, he’s continuing to pick up training from GEMA and other fire houses. Last month, he completed his HazMat training.

He is considering joining the National Guard. And makes noises about returning to school, but hasn’t taken any steps towards that.


Beauty

Beauty has finalized her schedule for her senior year. And she continues to work at the local coffee shop 4-5 shifts per week. We are going to sit down with her Cosmetology teacher this week to lay out a post-graduation plan based on what she will need to get her cosmetology license and any training she will need to pursue a career in hair.

Princess

Princess is flying through school. She really is getting a taste of what college will be like with only being at the high school 2 days a week. (Her welding class is every, but it’s just 2 hours and there is never any homework.) She loves and excels at her job.

She took the SAT this past weekend. Her ACT score was great, but she wasn’t satisfied so wanted to try this other test. In just a couple of weeks, she will begin applying for college. I am relatively certain she will be accepted to her top choice school, but she does have a couple of backups picked out as well.

Right now, the plan is to do a drive by of her other two choices during our long weekend in October, just so she can see them. She’s done the virtual tours online. But I’m relatively certain she will get into and attend her first choice school. We visited it last year and while it took her a little while to warm up, I think she’s pretty excited about it.

Gymnast

Gymnast has settled back into home life here in GA. We finally got him a bed last week. It was purchased in July, but due to COVID related delays, it just arrived. He enjoys being the “new kid” at school. And is working diligently toward starting his own business. We shall see!