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Is Divorce Draining You? Use These Tips to Revive Yourself!

A divorce doesn’t have to take away the sunshine from your life and leave you drained and discontent. That’s because there are ways in which you can revive yourself while going through a divorce and emerge at the end of the process healthy and happy. If you have no idea about how to get through a divorce without losing your spark, read on to see some of the ways in which you can find the brighter side without necessarily having to spend a lot of money.

Maintain a Healthy Routine

The first thing that you should do is to come up with a healthy routine and maintain it. This should be one that involves healthy habits such as sleeping and waking up at the same time every day. When you do this, it may be easier for you to keep up with the rest of the activities that you have planned out, and you may also be able to keep time a lot better as a result. This includes spending time with your child if you have one. On this note, keep in mind that in PA, if a child has to travel over one hour between their parent’s homes after one parent moves, this move is said to be a relocation.

Be Present When Spending Time with Your Child

If you have a child, you can also add meaning to your life by making sure that you’re present whenever you spend time with them. This is an important detail to keep in mind because you can draw fulfillment from maintaining a happy and healthy life with your child. Be patient with them and validate their feelings so that they feel safe and happy while they’re with you, keeping in mind facts such as that 15% of children still wet the bed at five years of age. By spending time with your child and teaching them how they can be the best version of themselves, you can expect to have a richer life in the end.

Find a Healthy Hobby to Spend Time Doing

If you don’t have any hobbies, this is the right time for you to find some. These should ideally be healthy hobbies that can improve your health and help you to relax mentally. Something that you may want to try along these lines is golf, which can help you get active and also give you a reason to spend time outdoors with people whose company you likely enjoy. While walking or driving through the course, you could learn about facts such as that motorized golf carts first started to appear on golf courses in the 1940s, according to GolfLink. This and general conversation can take your mind off the issues that you may be having and improve your mood considerably.

Surround Yourself With Supportive People

Last but not least, identify supportive people with whom you can surround yourself. Spend time in their company, and you may find that your life develops new meaning. Whether you’re meeting friends for brunch or going out to a hangout area with family or even talking on the phone to someone you hold near and dear, there are a number of things that you can do. As long as you don’t feel alone or end up in situations where you feel judged, you’re sure to have a much better outcome in the end.

These tips can help you regain your happiness and enjoy a much better life after going through a divorce. As long as you don’t lose sight of yourself, you can bounce back happier and healthier than ever. Remember that the most important thing may be finding meaning in life and learning to be fulfilled by yourself. This way, you can improve your perspective and have a lot more to share with those who spend time with you.

Selling the House?

by Hope

I believe I’ve written about this before, but maybe not all as one piece. My house. My mortgage. My thoughts.

First, some background. The kids (Gymnast and Princess) and I have moved ALOT since my marriage fell apart. So much that I’ve lost count and don’t have the energy to count them up right now. Rental homes pulled out from under me because the owners wanted to move back or sell the house, etc. Then my dad wanting to sell the house he bought to give us some stability when he moved out of state. Job loss meaning, I couldn’t afford even apartment housing in the expensive area we lived in previously (Williamsburg, VA). So many moves.

We moved into our current home in April, 2017. It was a rental, after living with my grandmother after our emergency move to Georgia in December, 2016. Then a few years later, I bought it and have pretty much completely remodeled it.

Now here’s an important point about housing for me: The only reason I was able to purchase this home was because I went back to the corporate world. As a contractor, getting financing has always been challenging. The roller coaster of income doesn’t encourage trust by the banking industries.

Contemplating the Now

Now I face and have to consider selling my house, the house that has become the home I have never, ever had. These are the thoughts swarming my head (and why I am putting this decision off until after the new year):

If I sell this home, the chances of me being able to buy another in the foreseeable future one are slim to none unless I go back into the corporate world full time. I’m not opposed to that, but the last year has made it clear that, it may take a while to make that happen as lay offs happen daily in this economic climate.
If I stay put, to make the type of money I want/need, I will have find online work and/or work multiple jobs. The local opportunities are very, very limited. I’ve done this before, for a lot of years, but I also have failed miserably in the past with this.
If I sell this home, I can move to Texas and help my parents out while they need it. I’m sure my dad will help me out while I make the move and find work. Not to mention, there’s a huge job market there. But I will need to rehome some dogs. And until Beauty gets out from under her legal stuff, I will need to find housing for her here in Georgia. I will essentially be starting out with no income. The work I currently have is relatively dependent on me being here.
If I stay put, the cost of living here is very reasonable. And once I get out from under the debt load, the ability to maintain the lifestyle I want will be very affordable. And I actually love living in this small town. I love having no traffic, making connections, and being able to get anywhere within just a minutes. Not to mention, it’s a good “halfway” point for where all the kids are living. (I am using halfway very loosely here.)
If I sell this house, the debt load would be significantly lowered. While the proceeds won’t cover all my debt, it would pay off a big chunk of it. An almost fresh start. But I would be starting with nothing but my car, my current possessions.
If I stay put, I will have to maintain this house by myself. My boys have moved away, and there are just things I cannot do myself. While everything is good order now, there will be expenses and maintenance that I will need to find reliable help with. This would be the case with any home I bought though.
If I sell the house, I will not have a homebase to live out the rest of my life. When my parents need is over, I will have to figure out what’s next. And I’ve said for YEARS that I did not want to live in Texas again. (In conversations with Gymnast, I am not sure he will stay in Texas. But being close to the kids isn’t a factor for me, I am comfortable with travelling, when I can again.)

It’s ALOT

There are lots of moving parts. I do not know the right answer. As a commenter has pointed out, I think I have to figure out what I want next in life. And then make decisions towards that end. To be honest, I am pulled in so many directions. And I don’t think that the financial challenges point me in a clear direction either. This is why I am tabling this decision to the new year.

Do you disagree?

Hope

Hope is a creative, solutions-focused business manager helping clients grow their business and work more efficiently by leveraging expertise in project management, digital marketing, & tech solutions. She’s recently become an empty nester as her 5 foster/adoptive kids have spread their wings. She lives with her 5 dogs in a small town in NE Georgia and prefers the mountains to the beaches any day. She struggles with the travel bug and is doing her best to help each of her kids as their finish schooling and become independent (but it’s hard!) She has run her own consulting company for almost twenty years! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally in a place to really focus on making wise financial decisions.