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The Ultimatum

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This is the 3rd of what I hope will be a 4 part installment today.  You can read the second installment here where I described by reasoning for not buying my home.

Continuing on my dad and my conversation from my last day in Texas….

I’d love to report back that he was impressed by how much I had thought things through with my plan for finishing out the school year here while putting the house on the market next spring.  I’d love to say he jumped on board, supportive every step of the way.

He didn’t and he wasn’t and he isn’t.

I can’t presume to know what he was thinking or feeling. And I won’t repeat much of the conversation as it was private and not just my story to tell.

But what I can say is that with his credit on the line (since the house in financed in his name,) and the refinance looming just over a year from now, he was not willing to wait until next spring to put it on the market.

And we both agreed that getting a house ready to sale with the 5 of us living, working and schooling here, not to mention the 3 dogs and a cat…well, that’s really impractical and maybe impossible.

Writing this it makes it seem like it was so civil and clear.  It was not, I cried, he cried, we both fought for what we believed was right from our own perspectives and positions.

In the end, as is his right, he gave me an ultimatum…we are to be out of the house by October 1. And that is where things stood as we finished our time in Texas and began our trip home.

Turns out as I finish this 3rd installment, that there will in fact be 5 parts to this story, and even now at 12am this morning as I’m finishing this one, the 5th one’s content is not known to me, but the 4th…well, that I do know so stay tuned this afternoon.

Why I Decided Not to Buy My House

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This is the 2nd in what I believe will be a 4 part story today. You can read the first part here.

As I have discussed several times here on the BAD blog, one of my motivating factors for making smart decisions on paying off my debt was to get myself into the position that I could buy my house from my dad.  We will have been here 4 years this fall and I am and always will be grateful for his generosity and help in getting somewhere stable for my children.  There are a couple of reasons for the urgency in this matter:

1. My dad is now retired and I’m sure he could use the cash he put into helping me get this house, not to mention the additional monies I borrowed when I lost a good portion of my income last fall.

2. With the financing the way it is, it will need to be refinanced next year to maintain a lower interest rate.

Over the last couple of years, I have really struggled with our permanence in this home for a couple of reasons:

Bedrooms

Adopting my twins was not my plan when we got a 3 bedroom home.  I struggled with the decision to adopt when it became available and I am at peace with the decision to keep the boys.  They are an integral and loved part of our family.  Please don’t make that decision the issue, it’s not.  It left us without enough appropriate bedrooms for the kids based on their sex and ages.

As a result of the bedroom issue, I explored every possible alternative for adding on to the home.  We have plenty of space to build out, but after receiving 1/2 quotes that had such wide and expensive variances I knew it was not something I could consider.

We then decided to close in the front room in the house (formal dining room or what was my office.)  It solved the immediate problem, but the walls have really begun to close in on me.  I realize how spoiled I sound, and believe me if this was the only issue, it wouldn’t be an issue.

Money

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned it before but as a reminder we live in a relatively expensive tourist city where the cost of living is high.  As I start to think about the costs of having older teenagers and my desire to help them out as much as I can, I think about where I can cut back to not only pay my debt back faster but also to put myself in a position to help them out…driving, college, life experiences, etc.

My home takes up a good portion of my income, and if I lived somewhere else not only could I get something substantially bigger but also less expensive. My housing expense would most likely go up significant too were I to purchase this home as I would have to pay closing costs again, inspection fees and more than likely PMI since some money would have to come out of the value of the home to repay my dad.

Conclusion

Our home has been fantastic to and for us.  My dad facilitated that. But based on my reasoning above and a couple of other misc reasoning going on in my head, I have decided NOT to purchase this home. I could not have asked for a better location, better neighbors, better floor plan, better yard, you get the picture.  I love this house, BUT I have to make the best possible financial decision for mine and the kids futures, and I am confident this is the right decision.

My reasoning was not new to my dad.  He had heard much of this last May, but not a final decision.  In fact, I know he agrees wholeheartedly on the cost of living where we live since he lived here himself until just a year ago.  In the next installment of today’s series, I will let you know how our conversation ended that day when he disagreed with my plan.