:::: MENU ::::

Aug 13, 2014    |       92 comments

The Next Step

by

It’s been exactly a week since we left my parents today and three days since I broke the news to the kids.  In exactly 7 weeks to the day, we must be out of our home.

My biggest fear in all of this was that I would make an unwise move both emotionally for the kids (like moving them away from their comfort area so unexpectedly,) logically (moving so far out that the time spent in the car commuting to activities would be counter to any savings,) or financially (committing to too much because of the rush, just to have the security.)  My friends continued to send me an overwhelming number of places that they thought would work for us…often times they were comic relief!

  1. Sending me a 3 bedroom, $500/month rental sounded great until you read the fine print that they were only renting a room for that amount.
  2. A beautiful piece of land, super cheap that had an existing building on the premises…it was a church and the land was zoned as a commercial property.

It was stressful and nerve racking, but some amazing things began to happen.

First, my kids immediately began to embrace what was coming.  They rested assured in my promises and began to share the news that we were moving.

Second, my heart full of anger and hurt opened. This curse was truly a blessing in disguise, immediately relieving me of my debt to my dad as the selling price for the home will surely before more than that total.  The weight of that debt was enormous emotionally. And I began to open myself to the possibilities of truly going anywhere after this promised year.

So as I started really evaluating what was to come I knew three things:

  1. I need less stress in my life.
  2. I need less financial obligations in my life.
  3. No matter where we go, we will be alright, the kids will be alright.

So as of an hour ago, I received the call.  We have been approved for a 2 bedroom apartment, literally just 3 miles away from our home.  They will take our big dogs. They are right next door to our favorite playground, across the street from some fun stores to visit and have a dog bark park across the street from our soon to be apartment home.

Not only will my monthly financial obligation drop by several hundred dollars every month between lower rent and less utilities, but because we are moving in the fall when fewer people move…we got a fabulous move in special.

This concludes today’s housing drama.  I hope I have been clear and attempted to be as forthright and transparent as I could without compromising my dad’s privacy.  I took my younger two to see our new apartment yesterday…they are ecstatic.  I think this new chapter in our lives with be a positive thing for us all.  The twins are very happy that if we have to move, at least we are moving somewhere that they can still walk to visit their neighborhood friends, not to mention, there’s a Gamestop within a stone’s there.  I know there will still be some emotional fall out for all of us.  It will be very hard to say goodbye to this home where our family was built, but I am certain that we are moving in the right direction for our financial freedom!  Thanks for your patience with me.

Debt update coming in the next couple of days….

 

Aug 13, 2014    |       15 comments

The Curse

by

This is a multi-part series today.  Your best bet is to start at the beginning here before you read the rest.  This is the 4th part of my saga for today, and hopefully I will have a 5th part before the day is over, but it’s content is still unknown and thus we will both be waiting to see what happens.

As I pulled out of my parents driveway at 5:45am with 24 hours of driving and 4 overnights with friends on the way home, my brain was racing.  I had six weeks to not only continue my regular job, work my part time job, start the kids homeschool year and begin the new fall school schedule of activities as a single parent, I must now find a new place to live, purge even more of our belongings, pack our belongings and get us moved.  And that didn’t take into consideration the additional monies I would need to move and get into a new place.  Can you feel my overwhelmedness?  (Is that a word?)

So I drove and I turned things over in my brain…for hours on end as I faced the open road and the kids slept on.

And once we came to a stopping point, I began an urgent search for housing…housing that was affordable.  Housing that would accommodate 5 people.  Housing that would accommodate 3 dogs and 1 cat.  Screech….did your mind come to a screeching halt with that last one?  It should have.  I don’t know how long it’s been since you rented but finding a place that will take 1 animal is hard, finding one that will take 4.  Well…you’re probably able to calculate my odds now.

I didn’t sleep.  I tossed and turned.  I cried (quietly so the kids wouldn’t hear.) I felt like such a failure. How could I have made such bad financial decisions that we ended up in this mess.  And it’s just me.  Just me.

By the wee hours of the next morning, I was desolate and desperate.  I emailed my dad and asked him to reconsider, asking him to at least give us through Christmas, telling him of all my obligations.

The silence over the next few days from that email was deafening.  But the kids and I continued along our trek home and every free moment that I wasn’t driving or trying to keep a brave face and be present for my kids and friends or falling into fitful cat naps I searched for somewhere to go.

I had such great support from my friends during this time.  They expressed the appropriate amount of anger on my behalf while being respectful that this was my dad and it was not meant to harm me. And then they got behind me and starting searching with me.  Offering housing if needed, money if needed and just a ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.

We arrived home 4 nights later and that email had still not been replied too.  I was cautiously optimistic.  I had finally broken down to call him expressing that I felt like I had a ticking time bomb hanging over my head and every second counted.  He said he would talk to me when we were settled at home again.  I called him as soon as we had unloaded the car. He was on his way out.

Several hours later, he called me back and gave a lengthy explanation and then final answer of No, he would not reconsider.  I was devastated and felt cursed.

And with that, I gave myself a few minutes to cry and then I arose to tell the kids. So Sunday night about 11pm our world got turned upside down as I told the kids that we have 6 weeks to find a place to go.

There were tears, there was stoicism and there were questions.  And with all that being said and done I made two promises to the kids that I would do everything in my power to keep us all together…people, dogs and cat and that we would finish this school year here with all their activities and friends and plans.

My daughter ended the discussions of the night looking around and saying “It feels like we are on TV.  You know like now that we have heard this curse, someone is going to jump out and tell us that we are going to be on Extreme Home Makeover or something.”  Oh, how I wish that was true, but even moreso I’m grateful that if I have to go through this really hard process I have the most wonderful children to go through it with.  I know that what feels like a curse right now could truly turn into a blessing, so stay tuned to see what has happened since Sunday night with this time clock ticking.

1 … 979 980 981 982 983 … 1,951