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Aug 17, 2015    |       2 comments

Bummer Realization

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First, I want to thank everyone for the kind and thoughtful comments on this post. This trip proved to be not nearly as stressful as my previous one. Not that it was a walk in the park or anything, but I think it helped to have both siblings with me and to already have a good idea of what we’d be walking into with the doctor (and our “hunch” of a diagnosis has now officially been confirmed). I’m going to set this topic aside for a bit, though I’m sure we’ll be revisiting it in the future, at least in regard to how these issues have impacted financial decisions. Thanks again for all the support and understanding!

I’ve already said that I love August. But one of the reasons why I’m excited about this month, specifically, is that it will be my first month earning a full month of pay from my new full-time job! Wahoo!!!!

So I guess I’d had it in my head that I’d be getting double-paid this month (from full-time job AND part-time job) and that next month we’d have some KILLER debt payments to make!

Only…..no.

I did the same thing last year, too. My part-time job has an odd interval of paychecks. For my summer teaching (which lasts 3 months), the pay was split into two lump sums paid out in June and July. So although the semester isn’t over yet and I continue working this month, I won’t get paid this month because of the schedule of payments (technically I was already paid in-full, and it just happens that I got paid before the semester ended).

I still don’t know if I’ll be able to continue working part-time in the Fall. I have a meeting with the department head this week where I’ll ask(!!!). I’ve got my fingers crossed for good news but, even so, I won’t be expecting a paycheck from the part-time job until September. And, worst case scenario if I’m forced to leave the part-time job, I won’t have any months at all with double-pay because I’ll have to leave my part-time job before any double-paychecks would occur.

So, yeah. That sucks.

On the bright side of things (a BIG bright side, too), at least I get paid this month! Last year I didn’t get any pay in August at all since my part-time job doesn’t pay during the month. This year I won’t get double-pay, but at least I’ll be getting a full month’s worth of pay from the new full-time job! YAY for that!

I’ll definitely keep you updated on the status of the part-time job. I’ve had a couple commenters ask what the deal is and it’s still up in the air right now. I’m just trying to be positive and hoping for the best, but I’ll let you know once I have my official meeting with the new department head!

Aug 13, 2015    |       42 comments

Frugal Living Topic: Therapy???

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I certainly don’t read every single frugal living/paying off debt blog in the world. But I browse a good handful! And one thing I’ve never seen anyone talk about is therapy. Because it costs a lot, right? And it’s kinda taboo to talk about?

I had to deal with a big emergency with my Dad in the middle of last week. Without going into details, it was insanely stressful. I started thinking about the most stressful events I’ve personally experienced in my own life. This is probably a good Top 5 list:

Ashley’s Top 5 Most Stressful Life Events

5. Moving cross-country the second time/tied with planning an out-of-state wedding

4. Moving cross-country the first time

3. First year of twins’ life (living in a state without any family support; trying to complete my Ph.D. during this time because I had the twins the summer before my last year of grad school)

2. Emergency c-section of twins after developing HELLP syndrome.

1. Current Dad health situation

So, yeah. Dad’s health issues definitely secure the place of #1 most stressful thing I’ve ever dealt with (I realize this is small potatoes compared to what many others deal with. I’m just talking about me and my situation, not making any judgments about anyone else).

Anywayyyyyyy….. I ended up spending nearly 6 hours on the phone on Wednesday after this emergency situation occurred. I had to speak to a hospital, a social worker, my brother, my sister, my uncle, my dad, the social worker again, and on and on and on. Six hours is seriously not an exaggeration. And that was just on a single day. The calls continued throughout the rest of the week (and into this week).

So my Dad’s last test was expedited and occurred on Monday.  And guess where I am today? Flying back to Utah. My Dad’s follow-up with the specialist is tomorrow. My sister and brother are coming, too. It’s a whole family affair. Diagnosis Day. After tomorrow, Dad will be able to apply for disability, he’ll need to permanently relocate, we’ll start trying to sell off his things, take over managing his finances, and on and on. Lots to be done.

And over the weekend I was struggling. Like, hard.

I’m really a very level-headed person, but the stress has been eating away at me. I’m now working a full-time job PLUS a part-time job, I’m spending HOURS a day with issues related to my father’s health, not to mention normal life stuff (which was busy enough before any of this ever happened). It was just all too much!

I had a good cry and let it out. Felt much better afterward. You all know I’ve been hit pretty hard with this process already, but this was my first real cry and it felt like a bit of a release. Cathartic.

And it made me think…..maybe I should look into therapy???

To be perfectly clear, I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with therapy.  That being said, I’ve never actually seen a therapist in my life. It feels a little foreign. I’ve always just talked over my problems and/or feelings with my friends, family, or hubs. But this feels different. No one I personally know can relate. No one knows what to say. And I just feel like its burdensome to continue bringing it up in conversations.

Enter:  health insurance!

Before starting my new job our health insurance didn’t cover any type of mental health care. My new insurance has a deductible, of course, but covers the majority of the cost of speaking with a professional.

In all honesty, right now I feel like I’m too busy to even take the time to talk to someone. I’m already struggling to keep up with my responsibilities.

But once Dad gets moved to a new permanent residence, the semester begins, and things settle into a bit of a routine…I’m thinking I might see a therapist a few times. Not an ongoing forever type of thing. But I feel like I need someone to talk to about this. I mean, clearly I’m having issues, am I right?

I can’t be the only one in the world. Why does no one else in the frugal living world ever talk about going to see a therapist? Maybe they think it’s cost prohibitive (before my insurance I would’ve thought that, too). Maybe they think it’s too personal to mention in such a public space (probably true?). Maybe I’ve just missed seeing people talk about it? Maybe they talk to a pastor or preacher or someone for free (we go to church occasionally…but don’t have anyone I’d want to talk to like that for counsel). I tried looking for support groups on Facebook, but it just doesn’t feel the same as speaking to a real human sitting across from you.

So I just wanted to throw this post out to the world. I don’t really want opinions on if I should or shouldn’t go (pretty sure I’m going to go. Just need to wait a bit for things to settle down so I have a chance to research people/places and find the time to go).  I’m just kind of curious why I haven’t ever seen anyone else mention therapy before.

Have you ever considered prioritizing the costs of therapy even within a tight budget? What have been some of the most stressful events in your life?

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