Blogging Away Debt

“Growing old isn’t for sissies” – my dad has said this for as long as I can remember. And as he and my mom celebrated their 49th wedding anniversary, he said it again.

For anyone new, my mom was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinsons several years ago. Dementia is not unexpected based on our family history. Parkinsons was quite the shock. And we are now seeing both in full effect.

My sister and I had fun doing 80s style makeup with my mom when I went to Texas to bring my mom back for a couple of weeks in May.

My dad has been my mom’s primary and only caregiver for all this time. I am the oldest of 5 siblings; they help out as much as they can, giving my dad relief when he needs to go do something, it really is on him. And I don’t think any of us really knew what that meant…until my mom came to stay with me for two weeks.

The Caretaker Challenge

I was trying to explain to my kids, it’s not always about the physical needs, which are significant, but it’s also the mental wear and tear. Worrying every moment she is out of your sight if she has fallen out of bed, fallen down in the bathroom or just tripped somewhere. And my dad can no longer get her up when she falls, so he’s had to start calling for the fire department. I didn’t realize the fire department offered that service, but my twins, both volunteer firefighters in our hometown, say it is and encourage my dad to take advantage of it rather than hurting himself.

I digress…

What Help can We Provide

We know there will come a time when my mom will need more help than can be provided at home. But we are not there yet. It is time to help my dad out yet, we don’t want his care-taking responsibilities to adversely affect his health.

I don’t know what this looks like. I don’t know what resources are available. But this week in Texas, it is my goal to get the answers to both of those questions. I would love the BAD community’s experience here.

My thoughts are that my mom need some activities that require physical exertion. And my dad needs regular hours where he can take a physical and mental break while still knowing my mom is safely cared for. Please send me any suggestions, experience and as always prayers that we are able to come up with something that satisfies both my mom’s care and my dad’s relief.

Life and then Debt

by Hope

Hello BAD Community! I cannot believe it’s been so long. You’ll have to pardon my absence, full time work and lots of life has gone on in these past weeks. That combined with continuing to recover from COVID, well, I’ve not had much time.

Let me give you the short version:

The girls graduated from high school. Colleges selected, housing signed up for and the bills are starting to role in.
I learned first hand what being a primary caregiver entails and I will never, ever take that role for granted. We enjoyed having my mom here for two weeks, but it really hit home that we must get my dad some support.
Princess car has been in the shop for weeks. I am not hopeful of its recovery.
I am now a home owner!
My health has been a source of my own concern and I’m keeping it that way for now.

Most all of these life events have financial implications. Over the next few weeks, I will unpack what that looks like for us.

Life and Money

I am determined to get Princess and eventually Gymnast through college with no debt. Between Princess savings from her work the last year and the grants she has received, we have the first semester covered in its entirety. But now that I have a solid idea of what each semester will cost, I will be putting additional monies aside each month. I have also committed to a monthly allowance for Princess for this first year. More on this later.
We got to Texas this week to visit my parents and pick up Gymnast. He returned with my parents after they were here for the girls’ graduation. My siblings and I will be meeting to discuss what getting dad some support as primary caregiver for my mom. I anticipate there will be a financial cost associated with this although we will keep it as low as possible as this could be a long term situation.
We were able to get Princess’ car back on the road after her wreck for right at $512, but it didn’t last. (She paid those costs out of her savings.) The oil pan evidently has a crack and there may be other issues. Not sure if it will be repairable at this point or if I will put it up for sale for parts only – will most likely know this, this week.
Yes, I own my home. And I am so thrilled!!! Definitely more on this later. In the end, I took on $98K in debt.
There are going to be some doctor appointments in my future. It could be all post-COVID or diabetes related, but I am currently living with symptoms that are not very bearable. I’m just now getting the bills from my COVID induced hospital stay. Thusfar, I believe my HSA funds are going to cover most all the bills. *crossing my fingers

I hope you will forgive my absence. But I believe I will now have some time to write again and am desperate to get back on track with paying off my debt!