Blogging Away Debt Blogging Away Debt follows real people on their journey to debt freedom — with tips on the debt snowball, budgeting, cutting expenses, and staying motivated.

by Claire

I’m so thankful that I decided to give myself a break this month and just sock extra money into the emergency fund.  I knew it was important given the tenuous times I am in right now, but I didn’t know how important until my paycheck didn’t show up on Friday.  I changed the direct deposit from the joint account to my separate account as soon as Steve told me he was moving out.  As these things often go, there’s a delay. So, the direct deposit was successfully cancelled but the direct deposit into the separate account was not successfully set up.  A paper check is “in the mail.”  So glad I had enough set aside to bridge the weekend.  That may not seem like a big deal but given these uncertain times, I’m taking it as a small victory.

Also, because I am really sticking to my budget and still had plenty of cash in my pocket I just did not have to worry.  There is so much relief in that!  While I was certainly aware that I didn’t get paid, it did not send me into an all out panic.  My budget habits are intact even throughout this turmoil and I do recognize how fortunate I am in that regard!

I did receive a waiver of service in the mail and although it was simply a form provided to Steve by the district clerk, I was not willing to sign the document.  It is entirely too broad.  So, I filed a pro se answer to the divorce outlining just three issues.  The first is that the signature loan that we just got earlier this year needs to be ordered by the court to be in my name only.  The loan is too new to be refinanced per the credit union but I can get a court order to put it in my name only.  That consolidation loan paid my separate obligations so that is how it should be.  We also have a $1100 tax obligation for 2011 that we need to split 50/50.  Finally, I asked for a name change back to my maiden name.  If all goes according to plan, the divorce will be final mid-November.  We have had no communication but I do know he refinanced his car loan b/c I had to sign the power of attorney to transfer the title.  Everything is happening via snail mail.

The overall feeling of relief continues to take root.  I can’t believe it has been just 3 weeks because it feels more like 3 months.  To have the distance from the unhealthy relationship has given me so much clarity.  I have my joy back and I am so thankful it was only 3 years of my life and not 20+ years like it is for so many.