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Twin Update

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Several BAD readers have asked for a twin update. This is more of a personal update than a money update, so please skip if not interested.

Back Story

For new readers, my twins are 19 years old. They were placed with me from the US Foster Care system two weeks before their 13th birthday. After a tumultuous couple of years waiting to see if they would go home, they became my boys legally just before their 15th birthday. They were already children of my heart.

History Buff

History Buff decided not to move to Georgia with us. He ended up not completing high school and moving back in with his biological mom. Unfortunately, that did not end well and he’s moved around a lot.

It was a really rough year and a half for him. We have kept the lines of communication open and continually offer to move him down.

For a while he worked for a family friend in construction. He is now living with some friend’s and working at a local movie theater. He just purchased a “new to him” car with his tax refund. A proud moment in his life!

history buff

Sea Cadet

When Sea Cadet arrived he was at the 3rd grade level of math, and was considered special needs in the public schools. Their goal for him (which I learned at the first ISP meeting) was that he ride the public bus alone. I was shocked and horrified, and knew he would do so much more!

You can imagine my pride when he graduated high school this year with 28 college credits. He graduated with a regular diploma! He put in the work, he didn’t give up and he never let what others said keep him down.

Sea Cadet was certified for a 504 Plan when we left for Virginia (facilitates accommodations for school and work for his special needs.) But we agreed that we wanted to give it a go here without them.

He worked part time at a local coffee shop here in Georgia. And has now returned to Virginia to work at the Christian summer camp. He has worked there for the last three summers and loves it!

College Bound

When he returns in the fall he is registered to complete a EMT certification program. It requires three consecutive semesters, so he will not be able to return to the summer camp next year. After that…who knows!

I am unbelievably proud of Sea Cadet. He has blossomed here in Georgia. Begun to take on adult responsibilities, managed his schedule, registered for his college courses and followed up on his financial aid.

Financially, because he was a special needs adoption his college expenses are paid for with government aid (grants not loans.) Our goal is to get through his college years with no debt. He and I have talked extensively about what that will require.

He is also saving toward a new car since he totaled his car last fall. Thusfar, we have done okay sharing our one car. For graduation, my parents and four siblings are giving him money towards the car. We are hoping he can afford a “new to him” car in the fall.

sea cadet with graduation cake


Forecasting…

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I have now created a budget that goes through the end of September. If nothing changes as far as my income, and I do get at least close to the predicted amount from unemployment, I will be able to cover all my regular bills without touching any more of my savings.

There is NO wiggle room in it. No allowance, no fun, no extra money. There’s also no clothing money, no lunch money (for when school starts) and nothing if something happens to my car. (There’s a clicking noise now that I’ve been told is innocuous but annoying at this point.)

What Does that Mean

This means, that I can not take a moment of down time. I can not doubt my path. I can not spend more time defending this plan. I must commit to something. I must commit to building.

In addition to my time management, I am dedicating some of my time to self improvement. Books on CD for the car, podcasts when I can and of course, reading.

I recently discovered Jay Shetty when this video was shared on Facebook. I’ve never been much for caring what “so and so” does. But this video made sense to me in light of my time is currency thoughts.

Going My Way

I continue to pick up more work. I am getting a chance to do new work. I am writing a lot.

I am gaining my confidence back, learning to say no. Working on charging what I’m worth, not what I feel is safe. (I have a long way to go in this aspect.)

I am learning to use new language. I am learning to explain things differently to my children.

Instead of saying “we don’t have the money for that,” I am learning to say “there are better ways to use the money we have.”

I am making wiser decisions on using my time in my day to day life.

And I’m learning to be confrontational and stand up for myself bit.

I am Listening

I really appreciate the BAD community’s patience with me. I appreciate the continued advice. I appreciate the continue encouragement.

Change is hard. But if anything the last year taught me how important saving is, saving every time you get money.

 

 

 


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