by Ashley
“I couldn’t afford to buy more than $10 worth of gas. I had no money in my bank account and all my credit cards were maxed out.”
This was Scarr’s “rock bottom” moment. The moment she knew she needed to do something to change her financial situation. Have you been there?
One of my favorite parts of writing this blog has been the community of readers who have “been there, done that” and have been willing to share advice along the way. Debt can feel isolating and even shameful. It’s easy to believe you’re the only one who’s made mistakes or that you’re the only one trying to climb out.
That’s why I wanted to start featuring real reader stories. Thank you to “Scarr,” our first reader whose story I’m featuring in today’s post.
Like many people, Scarr’s debt didn’t happen overnight. It accumulated gradually. Student loans helped pay for college and credit cards helped fill in the gaps. At first, purchases felt harmless: clothes, movies, apartment decorations. Then came car repairs and other unexpected expenses she couldn’t afford, creating a cycle that became difficult to escape.
By the time her cards were maxed out, she had about $16,000 in credit card debt, on top of $60,000 of student loans.
“For me, the hardest part was starting….the amount felt so massive and I kept imagining being crushed by it.”
When your finances feel out-of-control, it can be easier to bury your head in the sand than to face the terrible truth. For Scarr, the emotions she remembers at the beginning were humiliation, shame, and a complete loss of control. She wanted to get out of debt and start saving money, but could not seem to get out of the cycle that kept her in debt.
“I would pay off my credit cards, tell myself I’m not doing this again, have an emergency but no savings so I’d use my credit cards again.”
The gas station situation wasn’t the only time Scarr felt stranded with no money to purchase even basic necessities. A short while after being stuck at the pump with only $10 to spare, she was asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend. When dresses were ordered, her check bounced. And when the wedding rolled around, she didn’t have enough money or credit to even rent a hotel room for the night.
Those experiences became the turning point. She resolved to pay off the debt once and for all, and to break the cycle she’d found herself trapped in. At first, she was still in school plus working two jobs, so it wasn’t really possible to increase her income. Instead, she focused on trying to decrease spending as much as possible. She limited travel and learned to cook at home. She came up with a plan. She focused on one debt at a time to help make it all feel more manageable. Seeing progress helped her maintain momentum.
And Scarr credits an interesting thing with her success: honesty.
“Being honest with yourself and your partner about money is the key to success.”
When she started her debt payoff journey, Scarr and her husband were just dating. She was honest with him about her debt (she brought all of the debt into the relationship), and about how serious she was about her goal of paying it off.
During their first year of dating, she paid off about half of the credit card debt on her own. Once married, she and her husband were able to pay off the remaining credit card debt in under a year, with a household income of $75k (this is while Scarr was still a student). Once Scarr graduated and found a job, with household income now at $125k, they were able to pay off the rest of the debt (her student loans) in another year.
In fact, the whole experience brought her and her husband closer together. Scarr says that working together to make goals and check progress was a real benefit to their marriage.
“I don’t think we’ve ever had a fight over money in our 17 years together, probably because we’ve always been transparent about it since the beginning.”
Every step of the way, they were on the same page: whether adjusting budgets or tracking payoff schedules. And cooking at home turned into a love of cooking and baking.
“The thing that was a restriction has turned into a lifelong hobby we both enjoy.”
Focusing on paying down debt allowed Scarr and her husband to buy a house, purchase a car with cash, travel, pursue hobbies, and maybe most importantly, it gave them the ability to sleep without worrying about the next bill arriving in the mail.
Scarr’s Advice
Put friction between you and your spending.
Remove saved payment methods, delete shopping apps, or create a waiting period before buying non-essentials.
Save while paying off debt.
While some financial experts say not to save while paying off debt, Scarr disagrees. “Getting into a saving habit is hard if you’ve never done it before,” so you should exercise the skill even while still paying off debt. The same is true for retirement contributions. Particularly for those who get a company match. Scarr says, “do not leave that money on the table! Think about it as part of your salary.”
It’s not a one-size-fits-all.
Find a plan or a method that works for you. There’s no one single “right” way to do it – only the way that’s right for you. If you tried something in the past that didn’t pan out, don’t give up! Try starting small (one debt at a time), or reviewing credit card statements to see where you can cut back on spending. It may feel overwhelming initially, but it won’t always be that way.
Debt Snapshot
Total paid off: $76,000+
Debt Types:
- $16,000 credit card debt
- $60,000 student loans
Time to pay off:
3.5 years
Household income:
- Started around $75,000
- Increased to about $125,000
Biggest lesson:
Honesty – with yourself and your partner – is the key to success.
Favorite money-saving habit:
Cook at home instead of eating out.
