Here is April’s baby bump update. If you aren’t interested, sorry. Skip this and resume reading tomorrow.
Some days, I swear I hear the Hungry Hungry Hippo tune blaring as I eat. It’s usually after I’ve devoured everything in the fridge in one sitting.
I’ve been having trouble keeping my blood pressure above 90/50. Apparently I haven’t been hanging out with my family enough. My mother can elevate it in under 2 minutes. (Love you mom)
My husband was looking for our tax information for a school form and I told him I didn’t know where it was.
He asked, ‘Is it in the garage?’
‘I don’t know’ I replied.
‘Is it in the office?’
‘I don’t know’
‘Is it in the bedroom?’
‘I don’t know’
‘Is it in the living room?’
‘I SAID I DON’T KNOW WHERE IT IS. THAT MEANS, I DON’T KNOW WHERE IT IS!’ I replied angrily.
‘You don’t have to yell! I was just trying to refresh your pregnant brain so maybe you’d remember something’ he said.
Quietly and calmly, I said, ‘I’m going to give you a ten second head start to put yourself in a public place. Otherwise, there will be no one to witness your murder.’
He disappeared. Quickly.
My sister let me borrow her baby/birthing books. One is titled, ‘Natural Childbirth.’
She’s such a comedian.
Our neighbor heard I don’t keep junk food in the house because I lack self-control to stop myself from eating it.
He brought over a roll of Oreos and some homemade apple strudel. I wanted to punch him…after I ate the strudel and Oreos of course.
I asked my doc, “How much exercise is too much exercise?” He told me to rely on my common sense. Hmm. He may be too generous in his assumption I have any.
I don’t know what this horrific deformity on my stomach is… but it certainly doesn’t look like my belly button.
28 Week Belly Bump