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The Psychology of the Haves and the Have Nots

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I recently received this blog post in my Inbox from a marketing expert that I follow for work. I have followed Julie through a divorce, some rough times, restarting her business and now excelling at what she is doing. Her personal story really resonates with me on a personal level.

And of course, the article title, Leaving Scarcity Behind: How To Make A Large Purchase Decision With Abundance Based Thinking got my attention. As I continue to work to get on more solid ground financially and make wiser decisions. I hope to leave the “scarcity” behind and have a time of “abundance” – someday.

Here’s my questions: for those of you who have been on this journey, have paid off all your debt, was their a mindset shift afterwards? Not immediately…but as your journey away from debt continued?

My Mindset

I already recognize that even though business is going well, and I am making continued strides toward being financially healthier, I still function with the mindset of “it could all fall apart tomorrow.” And it could, for sure. I know this, I’ve been there, and not too long ago.

When the kids ask for something, I still answer with “we can’t afford that” or “we don’t have the money for that.” Which I know leaves them with the impression that we don’t have money still.

And I know what I should be saying is “there are other places we need to spend that money right now” or “maybe down the road” or something like that.

But really I am still very much in poverty mode. Every dime that comes in is accounted for in one form or another…whether it’s to pay a monthly bill or earmarked for a debt payment. And other than what I consider essentials…kids activities or trips to see my family, I really don’t consider any other expenditures. My immediate response “we don’t have money for that.” When the truth is, we do have a buffer now and I could allocate money toward that.

Not that I’m planning to go that direction now. I really am 100% gung ho about getting debt free, especially these last two years while Princess is in high school.

The Future – After I’m Debt Free

But will there be a time, after I am debt free and continuing to make good financial decisions, that I will start to feel safe again. When I will feel okay with spending money again?

I can’t imagine every feeling comfortable joining an “exclusive club” like Julie mentions in her article or buying a name brand bag…those just aren’t my things. My temptation is travel and experiences with my kids, which I’m sure long time readers know.

But now, the thought of any extra money going anywhere just feels back in my stomach. And even with a decent EF, I always feel poor. Does that make sense?

 


Patience Pays Off: Free Couch

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For the first time since the move to the camper in April, 2016 we have a living room we can all gather in. Yippee!!

Sometime in the past, I mentioned that one of my savings goals was to get us a couch for our living room. It’s been empty since we moved in April, 2017 except for the bookshelves full of school books and supplies.

This summer my goal was to furnish it from the thrift store. Both Princess and Gymnast and I have visited the local Salvation Army thrift store on numerous occasions to see if there was anything that would work. No luck!

Free Couch, Free Delivery

But last Saturday night, just after Gymnast returned from Texas there was a post on Facebook. “Anyone want a green leather couch, must be delivered tonight.” I jumped on it!

Three hours later a young couple who recently finished college nearby and were moving to California pulled up with their final item in their moving truck and carried it into the house for us. We now have a living room where we can all sit! (Not seen is a recliner my grandmother gave us.)

For the last year, we’ve all spent the abundance of our down time in our own separate rooms with no where to sit other than the kitchen table. But now…we are once again able to sit comfortably together. Love!

It’s definitely well-loved couch. It’s squishy and the leather is faded in many places. But this mama couldn’t be more grateful for the gift.

And finding the kids out in the living room instead of hidden behind their doors, isolated. Well, that’s priceless to me right now!

Princess & Cali enjoying our new couch

Princess and Cali enjoying our new to us couch!

We love thrift shopping. But in smaller towns, you must luck up on quality stuff.

What has been your best, most treasured find at a thrift store? And have you ever been gifted something like this that meant the world to you?


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