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by Ashley

My twin girls just turned 12 and we had what may be the most low-key, relaxed birthday to date. And I love it so much! But let me back up a bit.

Birthdays of yesteryear….

As far as birthdays go, we’ve never been huge, extravagant birthday people. But there’s a whole continuum, and although we aren’t on the far “extravagant” end we have not been bare bones either. To give perspective, I’ve had friends who have had professional catering, or hired farmers to bring animals for a live petting zoo to child birthday parties. We’ve never gone “all out” like that. But we also haven’t been on the other end of the continuum – having no parties at all, or family-only get-togethers. We usually fall somewhere in the middle. We typically have small get togethers (maybe 3-4 friends), but we’ll do something fun and “special.” Last year, we took the girls and 3 best friends to hibachi. The year prior, we took the girls and 4 friends to a couple hours at the jump park (we didn’t do the full b-day package, but we went jumping for a couple hours). To give a price estimate, the birthday celebrations usually cost a couple hundred dollars.

Enter: Teen Years

We’re not quite into teenage years yet, but we sure are getting close in terms of attitudes! 🙂 But the big shift I saw this year compared to prior birthdays is that both girls really expressed a desire to have more agency over the party and to have it as more of a get-together/hang-out versus a “party.” They did not want me to orchestrate the whole thing and to be hovering over them taking pictures and whatnot. They wanted me to fade into the background and basically just let them be.

What this translated into for the day of the party is that I was there, but very often in an adjacent room so they felt like they had privacy to chat with their friends and not have their mom right there with them. They had pizza and an ice cream sundae bar (no cake! Their request!), but otherwise they just hung out. They listened to music, chatted, and played a few board games like Code Names and What Do You Meme: Family Edition.

I sat in my office for a portion of it, listening to the chatter and laughter, but mostly hiding out and scrolling on my phone. It was the easiest and most stress-free party to date! And the big financial win is the cost! I spent $25 on pizza and maybe another $40 on remaining party food and supplies. For example, I bought some crepe paper and paper plates/napkins/plasticware (from the Dollar Tree!) and a veggie tray, a couple bags of chips, and stuff for ice cream sundaes at our local grocery store. Under $100 for the entire party!

Sometimes Less is More

Thinking about this year compared to prior years, I did way less to prepare and spent way less on the party itself. And even with doing less, I think this was one of the girls’ favorite parties yet! They got to pick exactly how it would go, and they felt like they had the freedom to do their own thing without an overbearing Mom calling all the shots.

There are some things about the teenage years I am most definitely NOT looking forward to (e.g., dating! driving! Oh my!), but other things I’m really excited to embrace. I’ve got some good kids and am looking forward to the fun that the teen years brings with them. This birthday was a perfect example of the perks of (pre) teens – they are kids who are old enough (and prefer!) to entertain themselves! Win-win for mom’s sanity AND pocketbook!

Ashley

Hi, I’m Ashley! Arizonan on paper, Texan at heart. Lover of running, blogging, and all things cheeeeese. Early 40s, married mother of twins, and working in academia. Currently working toward financial independence with the goal of (hopefully!) retiring early at 50.