by Hope
Every once in a while, you reach a milestone in your financial journey that doesn’t just feel good—it feels right.
Here’s mine: None of my children have student debt. Not a single one. Not now, not looming around the corner. They’ve each walked into adulthood on their own terms, without the weight of tuition bills and loan balances chained to their ankles. I couldn’t be more proud.
Now, I know not everyone in the BAD community has cheered this decision. (And I promise, I see your point especially with my crazy rollercoaster of a job history the last several years.) Some have questioned my choice to financially support my kids through their post-high school education paths. I’ve seen the side-eyes, the subtle digs, the “they are going to have to support you!” And to all of that, I say: I hear you. But I also stand by my choice 100%.
The Kids’ Paths
Because here’s the truth: giving my kids a launchpad, without debt, is a gift I chose to give with my eyes wide open. And yes, each of their paths has looked different.
- Beauty and History Buff both explored college and post-secondary education for several years. Neither ended up completing a degree, but they each walked away with invaluable life experience and no financial burden trailing them. That matters.
- Sea Cadet pursued a more vocational route, becoming a certified firefighter and EMT. These accomplishments that would make anyone proud. Now, he’s back in school, working toward a bachelor’s degree with the ultimate goal of becoming a Physician Assistant. The man has a plan, and he’s working it, step by step. (Americorp and his current employer are covering his tuition 100% so no mom support needed now.)
- Princess, ever the go-getter, is just a week away from graduating with her Bachelor’s in Finance. She already has a post-grad job lined up, and yes, I will be crying at her graduation, likely while calculating how much money I’m not spending on her living expenses and tuition anymore.
- And then there’s Gymnast-still figuring out what comes next, and that’s completely okay. I’ve told him I’ll support whatever path he chooses, if and when he decides to pursue higher education. Personally, I think he’d make a fantastic realtor. He’s charming, smart, and doesn’t blink under pressure. But I’m staying in my lane. Well, mostly.
This Chapter is Closing for Me
Each of my children has chosen their own direction. Some have zigged, some have zagged. And not one of them has to start their adult lives under a mountain of educational debt. That’s not luck. That’s a decision I made, a priority I stuck to, and a burden I carried…gladly.
And now, with Princess’s four-year degree chapter coming to a close, I’ll admit: I’m breathing a little easier. I’m deeply grateful that this season of paying for tuition, books, housing, meal plans, surprise fees, and everything in between… is over.
I’m proud of my kids. I’m proud of the support I gave. And yes, I’m proud of me, too.
This blog is about debt, but it’s also about values. And I’ll always believe that setting your kids up for a debt-free start in life, whatever their path may be, is a value worth investing in.
Hope is a resourceful and solutions-driven business manager who has spent nearly two decades helping clients streamline their operations and grow their businesses through project management, digital marketing, and tech expertise. Recently transitioning from her role as a single mom of five foster/adoptive children to an empty nester, Hope is navigating the emotional and practical challenges of redefining her life while maintaining her determination to regain financial control and eliminate debt.
Living in a cozy small town in northeast Georgia with her three dogs, Hope cherishes the serenity of the mountains over the bustle of the beach. Though her kids are now finding their footing in the world—pursuing education, careers, and independence—she remains deeply committed to supporting them in this next chapter, even as she faces the bittersweet tug of letting go.
Since joining the Blogging Away Debt community in 2015, Hope has candidly shared her journey of financial ups and downs. Now, with a renewed focus and a clear path ahead, she’s ready to tackle her finances with the same passion and perseverance that she’s brought to her life and career. Through her writing, she continues to inspire others to confront their own financial challenges and strive for a brighter future.
And now you are going to be “houseless” partially to pay the 30% interest rate bills you rang up to do this. And then you will be counting on your children to support you in your old age. If I were in Princess’ shoes, I would’ve taken a modest student loan over that any day.
I understand the ideal of no college debt, but these post-secondary costs you paid effectively went on your credit cards. A significantly more costly choice overall than leveraging the student loan options that were available. Had your applicable kids taken out the subsidized federal loans offered, paying them down while they were still in school would have been at 0 interest. And I mean funding kids with your actual extra cash flow, not prepaying things when you see a bank balance then screwing your future self.
Congrats on launching your kids, it is a good feeling knowing they are ready for the world.
But I am going to say it, and have always said it with no side eye just straight to the point…you have created the situation that your kids will feel obligated to support you as you age. You have nothing to fall back on, no retirement, no home as an asset if needed. Have you been to a Medicaid Assisted Living Facility, they can be very grim. Putting your children in the position of either upending their lives to care for you, spend outlandish amounts of money on hiring full time care, or watching you deteriorate in a sub par nursing home is not admirable. You kids having some debt at graduation is not a bad thing, especially if they are moving into successful careers. But now they may not be able to help their own children, save for their own home, spend their own money freely because of a looming financial burden facing them. Every single financial expert or resource we have ever used counsels against going in to any debt for your children’s college. If you have the money to help them, great! But not at the expense of your aging years. I know you think you did the right thing, but it isn’t a crowning achievement when it places you in harms way later and your kids will be left holding the bag. PS-on another note, apparently Trump is disbanding/or massively cutting funding for Americorps, do you know if they will fulfill their scholarships after this happens? If not are you planning to pay for your sons tuition as well?
Hope,
Congrats! I know how huge a milestone this is for you. Enjoy it!
Then, take advantage of the wiggle room you are about to have and make sure you benefit from it. You still have time to make sure they aren’t hemorrhaging to support you but you need to do it now. You won’t get another 2nd chance. When the house sells, pay everything off and keep it off! You have always been good at handling hard things. You just chose to prioritize different hard things than most people would choose. Now, prioritize yourself. You’ve got this!
This would probably be more meaningful if you yourself weren’t mired in debt from your own student loans, which for some reason you are reluctant to pay off.
Wasn’t Princess tuition free and she covered most of her own costs until the choice to live solo senior year?
That is good they have no debt! I think the next step is to really start thinking longer term. Seems like the last 10 years have just been all about muddling through. I would try to say, hey where do I want to be in 10 years from now, and how do I get there? What year do I plan to retire? I get the whole save for land and tiny house, but you need a concrete plan. And go back through your history too. It’s one thing to have some goals, but are they just ideas? I real plan is something you can look at 2 or 3 years from now and say, yes I am pretty much still along this plan. Paying off an Apple or Amazon card is great, but its not retirement planning.
I hope this launches them into a position where they can start building generational wealth. But, it came at a high cost.
Hope – I think there was a better way to both set your kids up for no student debt, without harming your finances; that would have ultimately helped them out more than what you did. I too was a single mom, I had 3 boys and all of them went to either 2 year or 4 year schools and none of them had student debt over there head, I like you took years to pay mine off and was resolute that my children would not have to suffer that if I could prevent it. The difference is I had them take out federal student loans at less than 3% interest and that gave each child a 6 month post graduation grace period before the first payment was due. I then took a second part time job and immediately started paying the first payment asap. I had them also work part time to pay for the unexpected expenses that pop up all the time. by the time they had graduated they had 2-4 years of perfect payments on student loans showing on their credit reports increasing there scores and I continued to work the part time weekend job and pay on the loans each month which took an additional 6 years on average. By the time they were ready to make a big purchase such as a newer vehicle or a starter home, they had a long record of perfect credit and a higher credit score than they would have if I had paid on credit cards with a 25-30% interest rate. There were smarter ways to accomplish what you did and I saw many many times over the years someone suggesting you have them get student loans and you make the payment. Your short sightedness hurt not only you with higher payments it also hurt the opportunity for a higher credit score for your kids. Sometimes you need to step back and see there is more than one way to skin a cat as they say.