History Buff has now been working his full time job for a month now. But his “adult” obligations have not increased at all. He continues to pay his cell phone and auto insurance bill through me as he’s on my accounts. But otherwise, he manages his own monies and does not contribute to the household.
Sea Cadet was sent home early from his “year with Americorp” due to the virus and has been seeking employment of any kind. But he is hoping to stay in his trained profession of EMS or emergency management. Meanwhile, he has resumed his duties as volunteer firefighter is now taking the Fire I course to become a firefighter. I have been covering his cell phone and car insurance bill while he has been serving with Americorp after his savings ran out and am continuing to do so while he finds work. He gets a bi-weekly stipend from Americorp and he uses it for his living – gas for his car, oil changes, etc for now.
The Next Phase Towards Adulthood
After much research and speaking with trusted advisors, I have decided it is time for the twins to take the next step into adulthood. And frankly, this has probably caused me more sleepless nights and questioning of my parenting than most decisions I have made…so I am certainly not sure I am right. But this is what we are doing.
- The twins will now pay $250 per month in rent. This will help cover the household bills, the groceries and such. All of which they contribute to. They will still be expected to do weekly chores as we all do to maintain our living environment. And they will continue to pay their own cell phone and auto insurance bills through me.
- When their phone contracts end, they are to evaluate moving onto their own plan. It will be their decision if they want to stay under my account or move out onto their own. But either way, they will begin paying the service provider rather than me. And if they do remain under me, they understand that it is a 2 year commitment.
- They must both begin preparing and researching moving out. At this time, the goal for that is next Spring. This time period was chosen to 1) give them plenty of time and 2) free me to make a move of my own after Princess graduates and heads off to college (assuming Gymnast chooses to remain with his dad.)
One more caveat, if either of them decides to return to school full time, they are always welcome to live at home, wherever that may be, I will do my best to help support them. But at this point, neither of them is planning to pursue additional schooling at this time.
These changes kick in for History Buff beginning in May. And for Sea Cadet in June. (If Sea Cadet does go to Virginia to work at the summer camp, he will not have to pay rent while he is away, but he will resume paying his other bills as soon as he has a full time job which we anticipate will be any day now.)
What do you think? Have you had to “phase” your adult children into adulthood and out of the house and your financial care? It’s a foreign concept for me and my siblings as we were all anxious to move out. And when we did live with our parents in adulthood, there was a specific purpose and time period already in place. Again, I don’t know if this is the right move, but it’s what I’ve come up with.
Hope is a digital marketing manager and foster/adoptive single mom to five kids. She has run her own consulting company for over 15 years and took a leap of faith returning to the corporate world in 2021 to a job and team she loves! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally mastered the balance between family first and wise financial decisions.