by Hope
This is more of a personal rambling then a financial post. So if you are not interested in that, please skip reading this one.
How are your holiday plans going? I am failing miserably.
Or rather just not making any headway. I’ve got Halloween and Thanksgiving lined out. No sweat.
I do want Christmas to be special with only 3 of us here.
But I feel like it’s just going to be sad.
And I’m not saying I need to spend a bunch of money. I just need an idea to make it special.
To help us not miss those that are not here.
Is it bad that I get the holiday doldrums just thinking about it?
I’ve been thinking of things we could DO on Christmas day. There are movies…and if the weather is not terrible a hike.
I just don’t know.
I have taken a BAD reader’s suggestion and been looking at dates (before the summer) when I can fly Gymnast here for a visit. I think a lot of my melancholy is missing him and this important part of his life. Phone calls just don’t make up for seeing his face and being present for what’s going on.
So…any ideas from empty nesters or those with shared custody who have had to go through holidays without some of their kids? Ways to bring joy back.
(We are quickly coming up on the year anniversary of Gymnast moving to his dad’s. I’m feeling it every day.)
Hope is a creative, solutions-focused business manager helping clients grow their business and work more efficiently by leveraging expertise in project management, digital marketing, & tech solutions. She’s recently become an empty nester as her 5 foster/adoptive kids have spread their wings. She lives with her 5 dogs in a small town in NE Georgia and prefers the mountains to the beaches any day. She struggles with the travel bug and is doing her best to help each of her kids as their finish schooling and become independent (but it’s hard!) She has run her own consulting company for almost twenty years! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally in a place to really focus on making wise financial decisions.
It sounds like you have a pretty good plan now, actually. It can still be a special couple of days with you and the kiddos that are home with you. Keep expectations low, do special things like look through picture albums and facetime with the kids who are away this year, and just feel your feelings. Have a wonderful meal and go for a long walk after dinner. Watch special holiday movies and make a special family dessert. And be cognizant of the fact that you don’t need to overspend on anything because you’re feeling sad or guilty or whatever…..
As your kids get older and establish their own lives you are going to have moments where the 5 of you may not be together. Try and establish some traditions that you can share even if you are not under the same roof. For example, maybe you work on a family ornament that you each can hang on the Christmas tree.
Why not give back, or host another family that is going through hard times. Do dinner and play some games. Check in with a local church/rec center, and see if they know of any people who do not have a lot of family in the area an are going to be on their own as well.
Your son spent so much money on a top of the line, brand new iPhone. Can’t you utilize that to regularly FaceTime / Skype each other? Much better than phone calls to keep in touch.
I’m in Florida and 2 of my kids and grands live in California. That’s what we do- FaceTime. It actually seems like they are in the same room. I haven’t spent a holiday with all 3 of my kids together for over 10 years. I’m visiting Thanksgiving but only with the 2 who live in Ca. You just adapt-