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This weekend we celebrated the end of DD’s basketball season.  The girls had no wins out of their 14 games but had a genuinely good time.  Every time we have one of these celebrations I reflect on what we are teaching this next generation of kids about rewards and incentives because, yes, every girl gets a trophy.  I try to find a way to give my kids the lesson that life isn’t all about winning.  You will lose in this life and you will win in this life and sometimes you won’t get a trophy.  You should always do your best even if you aren’t guaranteed a big party at the end.  Doing our best is what we are called to do, period. These parties send me into soapbox moments with the kids although I have recently been better about finding the balance and not overdosing them on this kind of info.

Now when I visit with them, I am sure to draw connections to finances because I know part of the reason I got to the bad money place I am in is because I had a reward based mentality for myself and couldn’t delay the gratification when it came to spending.  Interesting when you think about the fact that I had no issue delaying the reward of earning my degrees and even in my late teens I had this strong work ethic with my studies that I wish I had a shred of regarding money.  Study hard, work hard and you get the benefit…later.  But with money I never had that same attitude.  With money it was always “spend what you want now, don’t wait for the reward because you DESERVE this.”  I want my kids to have more balance in the money realm and know that the better choice is to try to spend less, save and enjoy the benefits later. 

And that concludes your overdose of food for thought for today!


  • Reply Steve S |


    Just wanted to say way to go on doing the credit union loan to replace most of the BOA and getting the lower interest rate!

    Dave Ramsey says the key to personal finance is our mindset and I agree. You have taken the biggest step toward paying off your debt in changing your mindset. I see only success for you in paying off this debt now.

    Best wishes!

  • Reply Claire in CA, USA |

    Oh girl, I struggle with the same mentality. I have an uncooperative spouse, and I always feel like I’m spinning my wheels, financially. Add a chronically ill child (on whom we spend quite a bit, and who demands a lot of my attention), and you have the perfect storm. I have to fight the “I deserves” because frankly, I don’t get a whole lot of support in my home.

    Congrats to you on your progress. You are inspiring!

  • Reply Jerome |

    Excellent post. I have a similar experience. My son plays handball in a team that hardly ever wins. But the coach has an excellent way of handling that: any goal they do score is cheered and celebrated by the whole team. The effect of this simple strategy is amazing. I have seen the team totally happy after loosing 30:5 but proudly telling everybody that they scored 5 beautiful goals. Winning or loosing hardly matters to them, they just want to score goals. I am sure that in daily life it works in a similar way: enjoying your little successes is very important!

  • Reply Jennifer |

    I agree that everyone doesn’t need a trophy. But I do like end of season celebrations. Because no matter how poorly a team did, there had to be successes and reasons to celebrate. I think it provides some closure as well. My son played 4 sessions on a soccer team that never once won a game. It was humbling for him because previously he had only ever been on winning teams.

So, what do you think ?