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Posts tagged with: school tution

The House – the Past and the Future

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Note: I am writing this post before the post about my decision to sell my home and move next spring is published. I’m already foreseeing alot of commentary about what a terrible financial decision this is. And I get that. But in the end, this was not a financial decision, it was one made based prioritizing my emotional and mental health. And it was not made quickly or lightly, although I know that post makes it seems like it. But this was YEARS in the making.

That being said, I found it awfully telling that some reader found a very old post about my housing debacle from what 9 years ago here. And of course, their comment was spot on.

Thankfully, I have grown a lot and am in a very different place financially and just life, I guess. The kids are grown and gone. (Well, except Beauty, but I anticipate hearing from her within a month or two that she is making a move.)

Summary the Past

For those that don’t want to dig into that old post. It is a lot. Here’s a very high level summary. My dad purchased a house for me and my then two children, when I was at a crossroads and considering moving away from where we lived at the time.

Williamsburg house

Princess and I drove up to Virginia last fall to visit Sea Cadet and go to the VA State Fair. We drove by our old house and took this picture then.

I paid all the bills, the mortgage, utilities, improvements, etc. It just wasn’t in my name. Fast forward several years, and several adopted children later, and my dad decided that he wanted to sell the house. He gave me 30 days notice to move.

Me and my then 4 children moved to a 900 square foot apartment within the month.

(There is ALOT more to this on both sides. But that is the summary of what happened.)

The Now

You’ve all seen my current home. We’ve lived here since we moved to Georgia. First as a rental. And then I was able to purchase it from our landlord. It has been the most peace time of my life. And over the years, I have been able to remodel it exactly as I wanted.

The Future

Any one who has been around for a few years, knows that I have toyed with the idea of being more nomadic, maybe having a tiny home, or even car camping. Obviously, not something I would consider as an option while the kids were still dependent and home. But now…

Over the last couple of years, I have gotten more and more enamored with the idea of being nomadic for a while. While having a home base is important, now that it’s just me, I am very open to that home base not actually being a home. Maybe a storage unit with the few items I want to keep but not take with me. Perhaps one of my siblings homes where I can receive mail. Maybe even my parents’ house for longer stays.

I have no idea what direction I will go come next summer/fall after Princess graduates. I’ve begun researching – AirBnB stays in different cities, using a site like Overlander. Again, just research, no actual plans.

But again, I am truly just leaving it open ended and see what comes my way. This is what happened with my stay at Princess next summer. As soon as I told her I was planning to sell the house and possibly leave the state, she asked what would she do with Jake (Gymnast’ dog who is living with her) when she had to go out of state for her new job onboarding. And that became my first planned stop should I go completely nomadic. So we will see what’s next?! And I’m pretty excited about it.

 

 

Making a List – A Big Decision

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Anyone who reads here knows that I have been STRUGGLING for a couple of years now with what is next for me. Since the kids started growing up and moving out and then away, I have spiraled in so many ways. I was just not at all mentally prepared for this phase of life.

The only decision I was for sure on was that I would not leave the state until Princess graduated from college. That happens in May, 2025. 8 months away. And she will turn 21 the same week. A full adult. With a post grad offer. She is set.

But I have continued to flounder on what’s next for me. Stay or go?

The Writing on the Wall

But last month, I had an epiphany after an especially emotional week. I woke up on Saturday with the constant question of what’s next on my mind as I lay there in bed.

I came to the realization that this house is an anchor around my neck. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE this house. I love that it’s truly a dream come true. The first house I ever purchased on my own. The first stable place I was able to provide for my children since my separation from my ex-husband over 16 years ago. And it’s truly a dream place because I have completely overhauled the whole house.

But it’s also the place I bought and built with my ex-fiancé in mind. With the future we planned together. The future I thought I would have. I lay there Saturday and looked at my custom built closet that I designed and could only think about my ex here one holiday staining the whole thing. (That break up happened the week after Thanksgiving in 2022.)

Hope's closet

And the feeling of loss for that future overwhelmed me AGAIN.

Then I recognized this house for what it has become…an anchor. And no longer in a stabilizing, safe way. But more so in a preventing the next chapter of my life from starting way. Keeping me from moving forward.

I don’t think I’m supposed to be here in this house, in this tiny town any longer. Rather, I know I’m not. The decision has been made.

Selling the House

Next spring, I will put the house on the market. And then I will follow what fate and God have for me. The goal is to sell the house just in time for Princess graduation. (The monies from the sale will be put away for a future house…someday.)

So I’ve started making a list of everything I will need to do to make the house ready to sell.

The support from my kids as I’ve let them know…has been overwhelmingly positive. None of them have real plans to come back to this tiny town. Some very much oppose me being here.

And my first stop post sale has already be determined. I will be house and pet sitting for Princess as she must be out of state for a month or so to start her new job.

I don’t know what the future holds. And I am 100% okay with that. I am confident this is the right next step for me. For now the plan will be to make Texas my homebase. My dad’s house. But I don’t know if that will be what actually happens.

 

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