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Posts tagged with: responsibility

A Collections Call…

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Once upon a time, a very long time ago, my husband’s family member took out several cell phones in his name. The bill wasn’t paid and went into collections in 2002. After we married and I took on the responsibility of bill payments and credit checks, I found the collections record on his credit report in 2005. At that time, we weren’t making much, living in a tiny apartment, and didn’t have more than $1,000 to pay off the collections debt.

The collections record finally fell off my husband’s credit report in February of 2009 and I assumed we could move on.

Dave Ramsey says collections follow you for the rest of your life.

I didn’t believe him…

Until my husband received 8 phone calls from a collections agency this week.

I told them my husband’s address was correct as listed on his credit report and if they had anything to send us, to send it through the mail because I sure as Hades wasn’t going to give them any information or promises of payment over the phone. Not surprisingly, they didn’t appreciate my response.

This… is when I start banging my head against the wall.


His, Her, and Our Finances…

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I’ve been reading a lot of finance books lately and they all seem to agree that, in marriage, the management of finances must be shared equally between the husband and the wife. If the responsibility is left to one person alone, the stress level is increased on the money manager and the relationship suffers.

My husband hasn’t paid a bill since 2004.

Don’t get me wrong. Up until recently, my husband was involved in the decision making. I was simply responsible for organizing how bills were paid. We have always worked our finances together – especially after deciding to pay off debt.

In January, my husband started taking more units in school while still working a full time job with side jobs. In June, he signed up for 5 hour night classes and when he isn’t studying, he’s working. Understandably, actively participating in finances isn’t possible anymore.

I didn’t think it would bother me. I’m a nerd. I live for Excel spreadsheets and I balance my checkbook almost hourly for fun. Take over everything? Sounds fantastic!

It’s been 7 months of sole money management and I’m beginning to get a clear understanding of why this is bad.

He doesn’t have a clue about our money and I’m constantly stressed about making the right decisions. I feel like I’m making mistakes and hurting us financially. It’s not that I can’t handle the finances on my own; I hate the sole responsibility. I’d be closer to a breaking point but I’m coasting through knowing he’ll be out of school by next week to offer a reprieve.

I have a countdown marked on my calendar.

I don’t know how people do it alone. Financial stress seems to permeate every part of your life and the feeling that you alone are responsible for the financial success of two people is, at the very least, hugely uncomfortable. We made some great progress on our finances this month (update tomorrow) but the pessimist in me only focuses on what I could have done better.

I miss my financial partner.

Are you a sole money manager? Or do you share the responsibility? What works best for you?


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