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Posts tagged with: overwhelmed

Why I Decided not to Pay My Rent

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It didn’t start off this way. I had every intention of paying my rent on time for my last month in my apartment. In fact, I even went in a week early and handed them a post-dated check since we would be out of town when it was due.
But then I woke up this morning beyond stressed about this month. It’s the first month I don’t have food stamps since I now make too much money. Ha, that’s a joke! And then I have all my regular bills, debt payments and additional moving expenses. Oh, and I won’t receive any of my ‘payments’ until the end of the month. So literally after paying rent a couple of small bills due the first week of the month, I would be BROKE for the next few weeks, and have to move.
I just couldn’t do it. I just can’t stomach it. So this morning, I woke up and put a stop payment on my rent check. And immediately the stress lifted, well, at least a tiny bit.
Now I’m not trying to dodge paying my rent at all, I will pay it and the ginormous amount of fees they will tack on, but I will do it in bits and pieces as I get back on my feet.
That’s where I am today, right now. Breathing again.


A Cluttered Life

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hopeless - heI have really been struggling with my motivation lately especially in regards to my money making jobs.  I recognize what one of the main problems is, at least I think, but I am really hoping for some nuggets of wisdom from the BAD community.

I recognize that I have been so blessed with the work I get to do.  In addition, I am blessed that work seems to show up when I need it most through little or no effort on my part (as far as marketing goes that is.)  I do not take this for granted at all, but lately I’ve found myself shooting myself in the foot with these opportunities rather than grabbing them and running with them.  Ugh, that sounds horrible and I hate to say it, but I’ve got to turn around and I need to be honest.

I think the issue is that my To Do list is just so long that I feel overwhelmed and instead of picking things up and getting them done so I can mark them off the list, I just roll over and do something else completely that has no value at all (read watch TV episodes on my iPad rather than work.)  This is not normal for me. I thrive on being busy, but lately it’s just overwhelming to me.

It’s gotten so bad lately that even my To Do lists aren’t getting made.

So this last week I recognized just how over-scheduled I was.  In a seven day period, I had exactly one solid work day and even then I was supposed to spend half of it at my part time job. This is definitely not normal but I think it was a wake up call to myself that something has to give.  So here are the questions I’m running through my head as I try to tackle this:

  1. How do I get myself motivated to tackle my To Do list of work items without feeling overwhelmed especially when I combine my home and work lists together?
  2. How do I deal with the guilt I feel when my kids ask “what are going to do or can we watch a family movie?” and my respond almost 90% of the time is “I have to work?”
  3. How do I balance everything?  For some reason, this summer for the first time, I just am so overwhelmed with everything going on.  And again, I thrive on busyness so this is a really new feeling.

I am hoping that by putting this out there I can clear this blockage that has really been negatively affecting my money making jobs, my home life and my attitude in general.  I’m sorry if this is rambling, but I hope you get my point.