My parents made their “rule” about all five of us leaving the nest pretty clear, pretty early. After high school graduation we either moved into the dorms or paid him rent to stay in the house. Oh I suppose we could have gone for option C) and gone out and rented our own apartment but it was somehow understood that option C) was a bad option. Only one sibling opted to hang around a little longer than the fall of his graduating year and he paid rent to our parents. A few months later his stay was uncomfortable enough that he moved along. I think Mom and Dad gave him his rent money as a little nest egg to get him out of their nest!
I wonder if this sounds harsh to some of you. It doesn’t to me because it is what I knew and it was clearly communicated to me very early. I can remember coming home from kindergarten and saying I wasn’t interested in continuing with school. I asked my Dad how long I needed to go to school and he said “16 years.”
It seems that more and more I am hearing about kids either never leaving the nest or coming back to the nest at some point. I know better than to say “never!”, but I have made the same message my Dad used very clear to the kids. I don’t harp about it but as the topic comes up I make sure they know their time in my house is limited. I’m not looking forward to their departure but I do think it is how things are meant to be in this life. Last year, when DD was 7, she asked me “Mom do we need to move out when we are 18?” I answered with a simple “yes.” She followed up with, “because our parents make us? or the police make us?” Okay so maybe I WAS mentioning it too often!
How were your raised? And how have you raised your kids (if you have them)? And for those of you that have returned home or had children return home, please do share the positives (because I know there are always positives). It is hard for me to conceptualize of them as I deal with such a full house, but I know there are positives!