by Ashley
I have a secret I’ve been keeping from you all. I recently applied for a very high-level role in academic administration. While I wasn’t sure that I wanted to go into academic admin, the job description sounded like it was written specifically for me. It was in perfect alignment with my skills, talents, and interests. I had to go for it.
I made it through multiple rounds of interviews, making it to the top 3 who interviewed in the final round for the role. And a couple of weeks ago, I got the call – they decided to go in another direction.
At first, I was disappointed, of course. I had really prepared for this interview. I’d done everything right! I’d bought a new suit (it’s not common to wear full suits in my current position, and though I own a couple of suits, one is too small and one is too large – a testament to my fluctuating waistline across the last decade – ha! So I bought a brand new one in my current size). I also paid to have my resume printed on high-quality paper so I could pass it out during face-to-face interviews. I even created and printed an Impact Report I’d made to show my accomplishments during my time in my current role. I really prepared for the interview, practicing my responses to questions I may encounter, and thinking about what I would bring to the role. I think I made a good impression, and I could tell that the committee, and later higher-ups, were impressed with my responses. I followed up after the interview with personal emails to the hiring committee and thanked them for their time and efforts.
I had visualized myself in the role. Saw myself driving into campus and getting to work each day. I was excited about the prospect of making a larger impact across an entire campus community (whereas the impact of my work now is mostly limited to within my own department).
But then it’s funny how things happen. The day I received the call, I actually couldn’t answer when the call came through. It was 4pm on a workday. I was home (not on campus) and was dealing with a minor emergency with my children. I wasn’t able to pick up the call and had to schedule a call back for the next day. I thought to myself, “If I can’t even take an important phone call…and it’s during work hours still…how on earth am I going to be able to commit to being on campus 5 days/week from 8am-5pm + occasional nights and weekends?!”
Since then, there’s been more parenting-related drama. Nothing major, and I don’t want to infringe on my teens’ privacy by going into it. But suffice it to say there have been things that have required my time and attention. Yes, even during work hours.
Also, this semester has been pretty intense for me. I’m teaching back in person again (for the first time in 8+ years), and it has been a big transition since I’ve been teaching fully online for the better part of a decade. Going to campus so much more frequently has really been an adjustment. These are first-world problems, but I’ve been joking to my husband (who routinely works 50+ hours/week outside the home), “How do you do this?”
I’ve been so spoiled to work mostly from home! I’ve always been around if there’s a delivery that needs a signature, or if there’s a repair person coming to fix an appliance. I can start a load of laundry in between Zoom meetings, and there’s zero commute time, so I have more time to exercise, walk the dog, prep dinner, etc.
In the end, I’m grateful for what is. The fact that I did not get this job. Yes, maybe it could have led to more money and prestige. But my freedom and flexibility are worth their weight in gold. I could not trade my current life for that of someone who is expected to be at work 45+ hours/week. Really, truly – you all amaze me! I legitimately do not know how you do it and keep a house running and raise children and all the things!
I’m grateful to be in a place where I can recognize that my time has value. And that my flexible schedule has value, too. I’m grateful to have been put in a position where I had to weigh these things and grateful – so, so grateful – that I don’t have to make a choice between career and caregiving. That my job allows me adequate time and flexibility to do both, while still earning a good living.
Sometimes, all we need is a little perspective to realize how good we already have it.
What are you grateful for?
Hi, I’m Ashley! Arizonan on paper, Texan at heart. Lover of running, blogging, and all things cheeeeese. Early 40s, married mother of twins, and working in academia. Currently working toward financial independence with the goal of (hopefully!) retiring early at 50.
