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Posts tagged with: Health

What Does ‘In Sickness and In Health’ Really Mean for Couples?

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When couples get married, and take on traditional vows, they are met with ‘in sickness and in health,’ which is often tested the most in a marriage. During the first three quarters of 2020, nearly 166,000 spouses of U.S. citizens obtained lawful permanent residency either as a new arrival or as the result of adjustments of status. For couples everywhere who plan to stay committed in a marriage, this has several meanings for their life and marriage as they move forward. Below are some of those meanings and how couples adjust their marriage when they are met with this vow up front.

Accommodating Their Spouse With Illnesses

The first thing that couples will refer to with this vow is one of them developing an illness that is hereditary or comes after a traumatic event. In these cases, the other spouse will step up and care for their sick spouse, ensuring they have everything they need medically. This could mean becoming a full-time caretaker or hiring nurses to come in and assist with this and not resent them for being sick when it’s out of their control. According to the World Health Organization, 3.5 billion people are affected by oral diseases, which could have some new accommodations on your lifestyle.

Remain A Constant Figure In Their Spouse’s Life

The partner who isn’t sick needs to remain a constant figure in the life of the spouse who may be suffering from poor health. In severe cases where this spouse may need to care around the clock, they may have to have them admitted to a nursing home to get the medical attention they need. Spouses who are committed to ‘in sickness and in health’ will be around to visit their spouses, take them out on day trips, and spend time with them regularly. What they won’t do is abandon them and only visit them periodically. The staff members should know who they are when they come in the door to the facility.

Be Ready To Take On Different Roles

Sometimes the illness that one of the spouses develops could cause them to go out of work. A national survey conducted by the Joint Editorial Board for Uniform Trust and Estate Acts found that a majority of respondents had difficulty obtaining acceptance of powers of attorney. 63% reported occasional difficulty and 17% reported frequent difficulty. If that spouse was the only income or the main income for the household, this means that the other spouse will have to make an adjustment and be ready to switch roles so that the family gets the money they need to survive, and the marriage can survive this battle. Some of these role reversals are only temporary while one is recovering, and some cases can be more permanent, depending on the illnesses or injury that was sustained.

Staying True To Your Vows

When couples make that commitment to each other, and they truly mean it, they work through the marriage to take care of their sick spouse and find new ways to adjust to the marriage. They mustn’t resent them, especially when these things happen and it isn’t their fault. No marriage is perfect, and they will all have their battles. Some will have several battles, and this could be a recurring theme, but knowing what that vow means to other couples could help you if you find yourself in that position with your marriage in the future.

If you’re feeling anxious or nervous about sticking it out for the long haul with your partner, it could be helpful to consider counseling. This can help you strengthen your communication and make sure you and your spouse are on the same page moving forward.  Best of luck as you navigate your relationship!

Hope’s Travel Plans and The Garden

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I bet long term readers of BAD saw the title and slapped their foreheads, thinking here we go again. Hope will never learn.

However, I am here to show you differently. For the first time, maybe ever, I have no travel plans for the next 8 months. And that seems like an eternity. (We are going to go to Texas for Thanksgiving this year – driving.)

So with no plans to leave, especially over the summer. It is the perfect year to dig in to my garden. Every year in the past, I have gone somewhere for a week or two, typically Texas, and my garden just falls apart without maintenance and watering and care. But this year…

The long term goal

My long term goal is to create a super low maintenance, mostly edible yard. And this will be the perfect year to reposition and make use of everything I have…3 standing beds, 2 tall raised beds, and 1 typical raised bed. And really make a plan that I can implement over time and as materials are available.

I found this resource on The Soccer Mom Blog while researching plants and positioning and frugal gardening that I thought others mind find helpful if they are interested in frugal gardening.

Foods you can regrow from scraps infographic

I have to admit that we don’t eat a great deal of these items. Maybe about 1/2. But I love the idea of having a continuous supply of the ones we do eat. And have already started a few in my kitchen.

I have left over seeds from last year that I’ve started germinating and am following some gardeners on my social media accounts to gain more knowledge. We do eat a TON of veggies and salads so a good garden would really make a difference, and give us more variety than what we currently have. Our baby carrots that I planted last year are in use now so I’ll definitely replant them. And I am the queen of growing tomatoes. But would really like to be more successful at the vining veggies and fruits. And if I can, I hope to plant some berry bushes and maybe fruit trees (maybe).

If we could eat mostly from our own garden this year and just purchase eggs, chicken, and bacon…that would be amazing. We shall see. (I typically don’t eat as heavy during the summer so a good breakfast plus a salad with protein will be perfect for hot summer days.)