by Claire
As my husband and I started to gradually combine our finances after marriage it became necessary that we find a resource to guide us along the way. As some of you know, doing this at near 40 is very different from doing this in your 20’s. Each of us were the primary financial person in our first marriages. I’m not saying that either of us did it well but I am saying that in our first marriages it fell to us to figure out on our own. When we met and married there was a process that had to play out in order for each of us to “share” that primary role–to find where our unique strengths would be best used and where our unique weaknesses had to be recognized. This was an extremely challenging step (tangent: it took 2 ugly years of major, MAJOR battling of the wills and now we realize that we might be slow learners–insert sarcastic tone on word “might”), but as I write this I am happy to say that we are now on the same page…well, at least working as a team to find a page instead of fighting each other for “control!”
As part of figuring out where to go from here, we stumbled upon a book entitled “Your Money Map: A Proven 7-Step Guide to True Financial Freedom” by Howard Dayton. The format of the book is working at this point but I want to look into Dave Ramsey’s plan as well. What I like about “Your Money Map” is the way it helps us focus on the current step without getting overwhelemed. Yes, the first chapter (like Dave Ramsey I gather) is to have $1,000 in an emergency fund savings account. We have charted that out on our spreadsheet and have set May 4, 2012 as the goal date. That is a very conservative estimate. If we can cut corners in our spending money (working on it! I promise!) we can get there sooner. If life throws us a curve ball, we will get there later. I am not using curve balls as an excuse but I also have to articulate the possibility–if only for me to get through this!
Another big step is for me to STOP looking at our retirement savings as any sort of useful savings. I think for a long time I rationalized no savings in hand (liquid) by looking at my retirement accounts and my kids’ 529 plan. DUMB! I told you I had some mad rationalizing skillz so my sharing this is part of the accountability. Yes, I do have decent (can always be better) retirement accounts from my now 15 year career BUT those are for retirement…not for life’s regular rainy days. Like I said, slow learner.
So–baby steps. We have a goal for the savings account that I hope to be able to report is met much earlier than projected. I am aware that each and every decision I make can make that goal come sooner…or much later…and I am shooting for sooner.
