by Hope
I had great intentions of writing a whole series about where the house money went last month. I sat down one day while at Beauty’s and wrote the first 6 posts and then life got so busy. So today, I complete that series with a summary of what I wrote last month and the last details added in.
The First Six of the Series
| Post | Total |
|---|---|
| Car Maintenance | $2,143 |
| Family Time | $3,396 |
| Insurance | $1,889 |
| Computer | $1,919 |
| Credit Cards | $24,582 |
| Overall Total | $33,929 |
The Last of the House Money
So let’s see. It’s been a couple of months since this all went down. Here’s a list of where the rest of the money went.
- I mentioned in a recent post, I immediately put $5,000 in a new high interest savings account.
- Dad had loaned me $2,600 back in January, 2024 for a new furnace, so I paid him back.
- The painter did work in the last month before the house sold and agreed to let me pay him the balance once the house sold, so I sent him $650.
- I wanted to contribute to Beauty’s wedding in a meaningful way, so I paid for the flowers. Thankfully, the florist is a childhood friend and has given us an amazing deal. Total spent $883. Paid in full.
- Closing out the mortgage cost me an extra $790 to do that. I wrote a post about that challenge which was the cause for a lot of stress and uncertainty. The mortgage still whos as active on my credit report which confuses me to no end.
- In May, I paid $1,000 towards my student loans.
That’s where $44,852 of the house proceeds were spent.
I know those of you monitoring me closely will say, where the remaining $5,000-ish. And to be honest, the bulk of that went to kids for certain items.
A few hundred covered my expenses those first weeks of the move since I did take an entire week of that last week in Georgia. I did buy two new pairs of shorts, three new shirts, and some new underwear when I got to Texas.
But with this post, I am putting that series to bed and moving forward with very clear goals. Or mostly clear goals.
Hope is a resourceful and solutions-driven business manager who has spent nearly two decades helping clients streamline their operations and grow their businesses through project management, digital marketing, and tech expertise. Recently transitioning from her role as a single mom of five foster/adoptive children to an empty nester, Hope is navigating the emotional and practical challenges of redefining her life while maintaining her determination to regain financial control and eliminate debt.
Living in a cozy small town in northeast Georgia with her three dogs, Hope cherishes the serenity of the mountains over the bustle of the beach. Though her kids are now finding their footing in the world—pursuing education, careers, and independence—she remains deeply committed to supporting them in this next chapter, even as she faces the bittersweet tug of letting go.
Since joining the Blogging Away Debt community in 2015, Hope has candidly shared her journey of financial ups and downs. Now, with a renewed focus and a clear path ahead, she’s ready to tackle her finances with the same passion and perseverance that she’s brought to her life and career. Through her writing, she continues to inspire others to confront their own financial challenges and strive for a brighter future.
So, $5000 + $3400 + $900, or $9500 went to the kids? Or about 20% of your proceeds from the sale of the house? That’s…. A lot and I’m guessing unequally divided since you’ve detailed how much of it went to Princess’s celebrations.
I would keep digging at that mortgage issue on your credit report. I’d be concerned that it still shows as open, too.
Longtime readers know the way she treats her children….
More the way she treats one child and now she doesn’t have money for retirement or if her car would break down.
Yeah but it seems like Princess is the retirement plan. Hope knows the child with the future in finance and already stepping into the corporate world is the one to love bomb. I doubt the twins would do too much, considering how she treats them (Princess’s wine tasting, buying her a bottle of wine for her birthday etc vs the twins getting homemade cupcakes), never mentions visiting the twins or crashing at their places but always finding an excuse to hang out with Princess. Plus she charged the twins rent to sleep in the living room while she’s paying Princess’s rent. Gymnast’s lifestyle (public on insta) may not be in-line with Hope’s Christian values so who knows how involved he’ll be when Hope’s broke and unable to retire but her health impedes working.
how sad is that.
Seriously? Who thinks like that. And even worse, who would post this nonesense on a public blog.
I can’t even imagine how twisted you must be to think that a mother’s provision is tied to this kind of thinking.
Believe me, all of my kids have received “more” at time and “less” at times based on their situation, pursuits, needs, and wants. There is no favoritism, but there are definitely different personalities and different provisions. You just don’t get to hear all the details.
I am sorry you think this way. But I can promise you that my children ALL know they are well loved and valued.
And I don’t count on any of them as my “retirement” plan.
Only one child is written about now because she was still financially dependent on me. The others are all fully financially independent now.
It’s a progression and growth thing. Nothing else.
If they are financially independent why are you and your dad paying for their holiday flights. I have never heard of this for adult children. My parents, nor in laws, have never paid for a flight for me in the past 30years. You are homeless, have student loans, and without a retirement plan but paying for flights for adults. None of this ever makes sense.
I supposed every family dynamic is different. This is how it’s been done in my family for generations…and by generations, I mean my grandparents provided for my family’s holiday (parents and siblings) travel, my dad has always provided for my and my siblings travels, and I suppose I’ve just kept up the same.
It’s just what we’ve always done. The kids all purchased their own travel for Princess’ graduation and they are all providing their own travel for Beauty’s wedding. I think it’s mostly just holidays. It’s just what we do.
It’s been done for generations but I bet those generations weren’t homeless and drowning in debt when they paid for such things.
Hope, I appreciate you finishing this series despite life getting in the way. With that said, I’m incredibly nervous for you! It just doesn’t seem like your habits, let alone outlook on money has changed, and now you don’t have the asset of your house to rely on, and are essentially homeless. Have you been working with a therapist still? I think these issues that people in the comments keep pointing out with be so great to bring up with a therapist, or else I fear the patterns will just keep repeating, with much more dire consequences.
I am still working with a therapist.
But definitely not homeless. I thought this situation would be different then it is. I also thought I would be less needed than I am.
Outside of Beauty’s wedding travel, and an occasional weekend away, my plans for travel are going to have to wait. My parents need me here. And my dad wants me here as well. It’s working out much better than I ever imagined it would.
And I am so grateful I get this time with both of my parents.
Using the remaining 5k-ish on the kids is a noble decision, but again your future is put aside to help / spoil the kids. That’s your right as a mom but you need to put yourself first. Otherwise I worry for the kids having to take care of you financially. 5k to the kids who are all working and self sufficient for the most part and just no explanation as to where it all went is kinda sad after all this time.
It’s also respectful. Each child had certain needs/wants they couldn’t afford. Their stories. Not mine.
But they also all know that I must now focus on my financial security so they don’t have too.
If they are all “launched”, and standing on their own feet financially, this makes no sense? How could they not afford these things that were wants/needs, that you either gave them the money for, or paid for directly, but they are all financially standing on their own?
No offense, but if you’ve been following this blog for 10 years its been about the same net. If Hope is blogging in 10 more years its gonna be about the same. But she raised all her kids and even adopted a few and got them all off on their own. So there are worse things than being broke I’m thinking. But money wise its gonna be about the same, couple steps forward and a couple steps back.
I disagree. I believe that having successfully launched all 5 of my children and them ALL now standing on their own feet financially gives me the freedom and incentive to focus solely on what I need to do for me. Especially if as BAD readers are quick to point out, I don’t want to be dependent on my children at retirement.
I believe the next 2 years which are what I’ve committed to in terms of not seeking housing as long as my parents need me. (Could be longer, but two years is the commitment I’ve made.) I believe these 2 years are going to turn a huge corner for me financially.
Such a waste. You sold your home, which is likely the only shot you’ll ever have at stable, affordable housing and have literally frittered away most of the money. Paying off CCs is great but the problem is now you’ve basically worksd yourself back in a position where you’ll need them.
I have a nice home, stable income, and a healthy retirement account and even I don’t spend like you have spent these past few months (when I could afford to do so). Quite frankly, you are making an awfully uncomfortable bed for yourself and you’ll he the one to lie in it.
We each have our perspective.
I actually feel better about my situation than I have in years. And yes, I own that this is due to my choices.
Why would I need them, my credit cards, that is? I’m living well below my means now. Getting completely out of debt. Have stable housing. And saving, saving, saving.
On top of that, I live near my whole nuclear family for the first time since high school. I don’t see having a solid support system around as a bad thing.
Again, just because we have different values, doesn’t mean they are wrong.
To be very blunt I think one of your biggest issues is your unwillingness to accept facts. Most of the people here aren’t trying to be mean, they are trying to help you because they can see what you will not.
1. It is recommended that the average single 50 year old person have about $250,000-$350,000 saved for retirement. You have about $10,000 saved total.
2. Most people your age have a stable housing. You do not. You have a safe place to live right now, but it’s not yours. It’s temporary. With the money you have now you could get your own place if you needed to. First month, last month, security deposit, and a pet deposit would eat up a good chunk of your savings though.
3. You keep saying your kids are financially independent and that things are different now that you just have to support yourself. Yet you spent almost $10,000 from the earnings of your house on them and you’re talking about getting them flights home for the holidays. Of course you want to do things for them and contribute for big life events. Of course you do. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do things for your children and to help them out, but you’re spending like someone that has money. You have money right at this moment that is going to run out.
You’ve always had clear goals, but no method of actually achieving them, which means here you are making the same mistakes you made ten years ago.
You are still not able to adequately budget.
You still fudge numbers and dismiss expenses as “things that don’t count”.
You still spend money frivolously and wastefully – this is not a values based judgement, this is a you are in debt judgement – you can hand wave it away as necessary but it is NOT necessary spending and is way OTT. You even had the gall to suggest you were living below your means, which is laughable.
Separate but related: You still spend too much money on your “financially independent” kids (somewhat lopsidedly) while claiming that you have to, you simply must, they would not function! But in the same breath trying to convince others that they’re set up themselves and don’t need you
You still have no financial literacy at all, and have made limited to no attempts to learn.
You still rebuke anyone that offers advise (see: inappropriate actions with your daughter’s hotel) and even when you profess to listen, you make no meaningful change.
The future is bleak, the past has been bleak, and you don’t think you’re doing anything wrong. As if you’re a passenger in this life and this has all magically happened to you. Zero accountability or responsibility. Zero movement to be different. Everyone else is wrong and you are right. The commenters here want better for you but you won’t listen or do the work and it’s a crying shame.