by Hope
As you have seen from my Tough Decisions and Selling the House posts and the comments, the way forward is not so cut and dry as looking at the numbers. I sincerely appreciate all the constructive feedback and ideas. The BAD community has given me lots to think about.
And I will think about all of it, I promise.
The girls and I enjoyed quiet Thanksgiving Day together. And used our Christmas decorations to shoot some social media images for a client of mine. Work and food.
Here are a Couple of Actions Planned for December
- Creating a variety of versions of my resume with a concentration on several roles. I have been advised to use an AI tool to help with this. Thoughts?
- Continuing to drop in on local businesses a few couple days of week with a flyer regarding my contract services.
- I’ve been collecting business cards at local festivals and holiday shows and plan on emailing/contacting small business owners after a cursory review of their digital business to see if I can’t drum up some website and/or social media work.
- It’s time for me to concentrate on being more social. Which I hate. But the saying “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” holds a lot of weight, so I need to share my need and reconnect with people from my past.
- I am also going to work on creating some digital products to explore selling them online. Little to no cost, and frankly I will enjoy the work during my down time. I have WAY too much time on my hands these days.
- Making a list of everything that will need to be done to the house if I decided to: 1) sell it, 2) rent out a room, or 3) rent out 2 rooms and move out myself. (This third option both scares and excites me at the same time, I appreciate the commentor who brought it up.)
Not Giving Up
I do have to say that one commentor said “give up your dreams” and that started a fire in me. I will never give up my dreams. Even though I’m not quite sure what my dreams are right now. But giving up on them, once I figure them out is not going to happen.
I realize I need to focus on my more practical decisions right now. But giving up on my dreams…nope. I will never do that and I would never say that to anyone. Is life really worth living without a dream, a purpose, something to strive for? I think not.
Hope is a creative, solutions-focused business manager helping clients grow their business and work more efficiently by leveraging expertise in project management, digital marketing, & tech solutions. She’s recently become an empty nester as her 5 foster/adoptive kids have spread their wings. She lives with her 5 dogs in a small town in NE Georgia and prefers the mountains to the beaches any day. She struggles with the travel bug and is doing her best to help each of her kids as their finish schooling and become independent (but it’s hard!) She has run her own consulting company for almost twenty years! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally in a place to really focus on making wise financial decisions.
I don’t recall seeing any comments telling you to give up on your dreams. There are many readers here trying to help you and you still don’t seem to want to listen for some reason. You are sticking your head in the sand and saying “it’s not as cut and dry as looking at the numbers” but that’s the only way you can save yourself.
It’s not as easy as saying you’re not listening to anyone’s advice. For one, we only know what she is willing to share. I am sure there’s more to her list of have done, want to do, and must do. Remember that this is a real person. She is the one who needs to live her own life, mistakes, consequences and all. She’s not going to share every intimate detail. 2. let’s say she does follow someone’s advice and it goes horribly wrong for her. Then what? She has to say I followed some rando’s advice online and here I am drowning more than before.
I think the best person to decide what the next step should be, is Hope.
You haven’t been following Hope very long, have you?
Where is make a budget? Where is asking for applications when you walk into local businesses? You seem to be holding out for a big paying job that may or may not come. Cold calling and dropping of flyers isn’t likely to lead to much work. I really think you need to focus on living on what you are earning now, not what you hope to earn in the future. I’d hate to see you be forced to sell the house and move, when you’ve said you really don’t want to do that.
I actually got an invite to interview yesterday. A local fast food restaurant, $13 per hour. Part time. Sounds like it could be perfect.
I am so happy to hear this! Good luck
Great news! $13/hr isn’t what you’re used to certainly, but it could be just what you need to start digging yourself out.
I can vouch for ChatGPT! I am quite senior in my company and I just used it for my own performance review. I work in AI software development so why wouldn’t I use the best tools available for all of my work?
I gave it feedback like “less self-aggrandizing” “focus on teamwork” and also gave it examples of my writing so that it could sound more like me. I then tweaked the final product a bit and received great feedback. It can definitely help highlight your accomplishments with ease.
My next recommendation is the ask a manager blog. I’ve been reading it for years and her word is gospel. So many people are making mistakes using super outdated resume formats. Don’t add an objective – we know you want a job. Don’t have a long resume unless you are in a field like academia where that’s normal. State your achievements and cite metrics, KPIs, specific feedback, etc that backs it up. She has tons of (life-changing) career advice all there for free.
Good luck! It sounds like you’re in good spirits and motivated. 🙂
Thanks, Elizabeth.
Wanted to confirm that the blog you referenced is this one: Ask a Manager.com? I’ve never heard of it.
I’ve been using AI for some of my social posts, and it’s been a great asset; although, like you mentioned, tweaking the writing afterwards is key. I’m planning to play with it for my resume this weekend.
That’s the one!
Great, I’ll check it out.
Hope,
I am proud of you for looking at all the options. I know it can be overwhelming for you to make these types of decisions because you are a dreamer and sometimes you doubt yourself because you know you have made bad decisions in the past. That being said, unlike many people who comment here I agree with you. The financial side of things is important but money is NOT the only reason I make decisions. Sometimes I choose to make a “bad” decision because my priority is something else.
I encourage you to sit down and make two lists for each option, one of the practical consequences of every decision. Brainstorm everything, think of it as a brain dump. You want to write down EVERYTHING you can think of. Then set this list aside and make another one with all the emotional consequences of every decision. This is where you want no holds bared. Write down every single thing you think of. Get your feelings out on paper so you can LOOK AT THEM. When you feel you are done with both lists set them aside. Come back the next day and add anything you can think of. Do this for 3 days and then sit down and lay out all the lists in an organized fashion. Look over everything and in my experience it is super obvious which option to take. No matter what, you know you are in a position where staying the same is not an option but this should guide you into making a commitment for how to move forward.
The list idea is a great one, and I agree, the practical implications are most relevant but the emotional side of thing plays a significant part for me as well. I appreciate that someone else recognizes this.
I will add “make a list regarding housing decision” to my to do.
I think the week between the kids leaving and New Years is going to be slow. A perfect time to sit in my thoughts.
Renting out one room makes sense. Renting out 2 rooms and moving out? Well, absolutely not! You are in no position to be a landlord. Not now, likely never. Why does the most out of the box option always make you the most excited? Maybe you should sit and think on why that is. Are you just trying to run away from reality? Find a one-time fix to make it all go away?
I once rented a condo from a lady who moved out because she couldn’t afford the mortgage. Yeah, it got foreclosed on one month into a year month lease. Nothing ever got fixed because she was broke. We dealt with short sale showings for 10 months. She stole our entire security deposit for repairs. I could only guess that she was also pocketing our rent money and only occasionally paying the mortgage. We couldn’t afford to move out so we refused to break the lease making a sale near impossible. You’ve admitted yourself that you’re not that handy around the house. Who will fix things when they break? You also frequently rob from peter to pay paul without much rhyme or reason. You know what it is like to feel housing insecure. Please do not knowingly put anyone through this! It’s immoral.
I’m sorry you’ve had this experience. I had similar during the early years after my marriage ended.
The appeal of moving to Texas and renting out two of the rooms, leaving my daughter in the 3rd would be that I have a home I own to come home to in a low cost of living area after I dig out of this hole. And I have a free place to live in Texas and a larger area to find a job. Not to mention the Austin area is a tech hub which is my area of expertise.
Just considering all options.
I would not rent out two rooms and leave my daughter there alone. Can’t image what could go wrong.
Number 1 on this list should have been “make a budget based on current income and STICK TO IT”.
Anything else is just a waste.
I understand why you are saying “it’s not as cut and dry and looking at numbers”, but it is. You cannot afford your current situation, and something needs to budge. A $2500 budget is a very doable budget for a single person in a low cost of living area. You need to be real about everything coming in and going out. No excuses. No justifying. Being real and understanding what money is coming in and what is going.
Do you ever see and read the horrible comments Reddit does on you and your family?
https://www.reddit.com/r/blogsnark/comments/17lh2cg/financial_bloggers_and_influencers_november_2023/
Why would you even share that, that’s so mean
What is the point of having comments moderated if nasty ones like that are allowed through?
And honestly, Henri, I hope you find peace and healing. Perhaps reflect on your own situation to figure out why you have to go out of your way to make another miserable.
This comment is WHACK and the mods are whack for letting it be posted. Go away.
Henri,
What good would it do Hope to read nasty comments about herself on another website? No one feels better just reading nasty comments about themselves. Shame on you for linking that and no, I didn’t go check it out.
To comprehend, you think it is fair to trash a woman who is struggling financially, to make fun of, criticize she and her family, her life choices and that this woman doesn’t have the right to know what is being wrongly said about her just for another’s humor? The only thing you said correctly is no one feels better reading nasty comments about themselves. Then why do it? I once never said anything negative about this woman. There is no shame on me. You Americans are hypocritical. You think it wrong to snitch. You protect the abuser. The shame is on you.
Go away, Cindi/Henri. you know exactly what you’re doing when you post here.