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Every Single Time I Go to Spend Money


I have BIG goals this year. Big goals for my money, big goals for my business and big goals personally.

But I’m also really struggling emotionally with this jump back into corporate. And I know a lot of it is in my head. However, there have already been a couple of days where I questioned this decision. It’s not what I was told during the interview/wooing process. The red tape and restrictions are insane. The processes and procedures are inefficient and frankly super frustrating.

Seriously, there are people in charge and restricting technology access who have no idea how to use the technology. It makes absolutely no sense to me. I’m just not used to it. And it’s been really hard.

With that being said, I am taking advice of my boyfriend to just work on staying in my lane. Something, I am admittedly not good at. It’s just a different world then working with the decision maker and coming in as the expert.


Seeking Comfort

With that being said, I have definitely sought comfort or been tempted to find comfort in “not so wise” decisions – eating, shopping, and most of all, avoiding things. None healthy or the right way to handle this.

I’m starting to use a couple of mantras I found online…

  • Do I want this more than XYZ?
  • Do I want this if it means I need to work out an extra day?
  • Just get it over with and then you can XYZ!

These have helped. (I did find a little treat for myself though, just discovered $39ish dollars in Amazon rewards that can only be spent on Amazon, so the next time the urge hits, I can give in a little bit and buy something.)

And I am committed to sticking to this, working through the hard and the change BECAUSE I have big goals.

Please send me some good vibes as I adapt and learn to bite my tongue and just go with the flow.

Savings Apps to Try

AppsFees and MinimumBest For
Digit30-day free trial period. $5 per monthSetting aside automatically
Acorns$1 per monthSpare change investing.
Qapital$3 membershipLetting you set rules to automate savings.


  • Reply Jessica |

    Hope, you have been at your job for 2 weeks. There should be no need for you to speak up or “bite your tongue” concerning any of their processes. Give yourself some time to get to know the company and the people you are working with before you just decide to jump ship. It seems clear already though you have chosen not to stay by not giving up your own clients yet.

    • Reply Hope |

      I’ve actually been working with this same team for about 5 months now…so not quite as new.
      But the expectations, at least in my head are very different. I think that’s what I’m struggling with the most…my own thoughts.

  • Reply Lisa |

    It’s only been a couple weeks. Give it time. I agree with your boyfriend stay in your lane until you get a better feel for the job and company. The money and benefits are good, try to stick it out at least until your debt is paid off.

  • Reply Emily N. |

    As someone who started a new job a few months ago in a very different environment than I’d previously worked in, I can attest that it’s an adjustment! I’d encourage you to go with the flow and observe as much as you can about their processes. Sometimes things that don’t seem to make sense initially actually turn out to be logical once you understand the system better. And of course there will be places you can suggest improvements, but no one likes a new person who wants to change up everything without really understanding operations.

    Just keep reminding yourself that it’s normal to feel a bit stressed and disoriented when starting a new job. Things will start to settle down and make more sense over time.

  • Reply Cynthia |

    I think your boyfriend is right. When I got my first ‘real’ position of power job, I learned the hard way that going in and changing everything doesn’t work well. People really don’t respond well to that. I’ve had much more success learning to pace myself when it comes to change and focus on team building, relationships and earning respect. At the end of the day, you’re doing a job now. This is not your personal brand or business so you have to shift your mindset a bit. Even if your idea is totally right, it’s not going to see it’s full potential if you have to step on other people’s toes right away to make it happen.

    • Reply Hope |

      Good notes. I guess I need to give myself the same time to adapt to the newness that I am giving to the team on the changes that are being implemented.

  • Reply Janie B. |

    I’m sure that it is a very difficult adjustment to make–going from from being a respected consultant and the “big boss” of your own business to becoming “just another employee”–even though being an employee there has many, many benefits. It would be tough on anyone’s ego.

    Keep in mind, though, how very worthwhile it will be if you can take advantage of the good wages to “sock away” something for your retirement years. It is very, very difficult to survive on Social Security payments only–if they even still exist by the time that you are old enough to retire!

    • Reply Hope |

      You are very right. And I truly enjoyed a completely OFF long weekend, something I’ve never really had.

  • Reply Jen |

    If you’re publicly complaining about your job and comfort eating/spending barely three weeks after starting, this is not going to bode well.

    • Reply Hope |

      I think it’s more the adjustment then the job. The team I am working with is amazing, one of the best ever.
      It’s the change. And it’s hard.

  • Reply James |

    Hope – hang in there. It takes six weeks to adjust to a new job. Going back to a 9 to 5 isn’t like freelancing, the lack of autonomy is probably to be expected.

So, what do you think ?