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An Anniversary of Sorts

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This month celebrates a year with no regular child support.  I was trying to remember just how much he had contributed this year since he warned me that he would not be able to help last Sept/Oct.  I think over the last 12 months I’ve gotten right at $1000 total in support.

While this definitely created a burden and we had to cut back a bit, we did it and we thrived.  One of my goals back in November was to become independent of it and the twin’s adoption assistance.  And I’m proud to say that I think I’ve met it and exceeded it.

By picking up the two classes at the homeschool co op I was able to pay for the kids’ classes. And by living on last month’s income and picking up extra work here and there, I was able to buy each of the kids some new school clothes (a must for the littles since they still out grow everything every year and a blessing for the twins since they are primarily responsible for their own clothing purchases) and school supplies.

So today I am grateful that we continue to thrive despite unexpected financial down turns, for continued work at times when the “extra” is needed most and for this blogging experience that has continued to keep me in check and on a smart path financially.


10 Comments

  • Reply revdrmd |

    Hope,
    Yes you did it! Great for you! Congrats on all that you have accomplished in the past year. Thanks for sharing the journey with us and staying on the journey with us. Have a wonderful day!

    • Reply Hope |

      Thank you for being a constant since I started here, revdrmd, the constant push and support and constructive criticism has made a world of difference for me!

  • Reply Denise |

    Hope, you have done a great job and I am proud of your accomplishments. I think when your kids are grown up they will look back at how much you picked up the slack over their dead-beat dad (who failed to provide for them financially or emotionally) and be better people, themselves, because of your example.

    • Reply Hope |

      I appreciate your support, Denise. I hope my kids grow up healthy especially in regards to relationships. I want them to be able to trust and give their hearts freely, and love, without looking to “fix” others.

  • Reply Jen from Boston |

    Excellent!! That’s wonderful!

    What do you do with the adoption assistance you get now? And do you have plans the child support if your ex begins paying it again? I ask this because if you don’t need that money to provide food, clothing, etc. for the kids you could save it in special accounts for each child. That savings could then be used for college and/or getting a start in their adult lives.

    A co-worker’s parents divorced when she was girl, but her mother didn’t actually need the child support to pay the bills, so her mother saved all the payments and used the money to pay my colleague’s college tuition. Another friend of mine discovered when she graduated med school that her father had been saving up money to help her pay for things like first/last/security on an apartment and buy a car. Getting a start in your adult life is expensive – just buying pots, pans, a mop, etc. for your first apartment can be expensive, so having some extra savings to rely on for this would be a great gift for them.

    • Reply Hope |

      Jen,

      I am wholly committed to being able to help the kids get started in life, thus the debt pay off journey. But more importantly setting them up to make MUCH better financial decisions that I have.

  • Reply Kili |

    You’ve come along way, Hope!
    Isn’t that amazing how things have changed and give you a lot more freedom & peace of mind?
    Well done. Keep up the good work.

    (And I know you’ve got a different, more healthy approach towards your ex.
    But it just makes me cringe how little your ex contributes to the kids’ wellbeing)

    • Reply Hope |

      Absolutely! I love the new “financial” freedom I have right now but am much more excited about being totally debt free and having complete control of my income.

So, what do you think ?