by Claire
So far, so good. Believe it or not in years past I have not gone crazy with gifts for the kids. I say “believe it or not” because by the looks of my debt, you’d certainly think I had. Like I said at the beginning of my blog writing, I am known as being pretty frugal. As I’ve worked through this process it has become clear to me that the debt I have is the result of poor relationship decisions as well as not planning for the day-to-day stuff. I’m happy to report I am much improved in both of those areas in just the last nine months and am learning new skills in BOTH areas (relationships and planning) every single day.
Back to the holiday budget. I’ve set aside $400 to spend on gifts for both kids @ $200 per child. I really think I can come in under that and look forward to the challenge. My kids aren’t asking for anything and I try not to ask them for a “wish list.” We really have always focused on the religious aspect of the season and serving others by always volunteering in some capacity during the holidays. Then, on Christmas morning, the gifts (that I decide upon based on the kids’ random comments throughout the year) are a true total bonus and definitely not the focal point. I don’t know why asking the kids to make a Christmas gift wish list has always bugged me, but it has. I find that they appreciate the gifts more and now as they are older, they really like that there is obvious thought put into the gifts.
What is your approach to holiday spending?
Born and raised in Texas. I’ve at least driven through every state in the US courtesy of a roadtrip loving Dad.
I’m single with two children and a good parenting relationship with their father.
I am a “life is just half full of funny” kinda gal. Humor is my saving grace and I am thankful for it every single day. I have a strong Catholic faith and am thankful for that foundation.
I read a lot for a living but still enjoy a good book. I love biographies but in recent years have found the need for fun fictional books–sadly, for a long time I just didn’t enjoy fiction!
I love live theatre of any kind–from local productions to Broadway.
I love to scrapbook and pride myself in my kids’ albums.
I love being a mom but also love my career. I’m blessed to have found a balance allowing me to be at everything my kids need and want me to be at–while also having a career.
Favorite Quotes: Well behaved women rarely make history.
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. -James Bryant Conant
Each year I try to spend less than the year before, and it doesn’t always work. This is mostly because I keep the list in my head instead of writing it down, or I forget that I bought stuff and end up overbuying. Especially killer is buying more for one niece than the other, and then I have to buy more to make it even!
So tonight I am going to sit down and take an inventory of what I’ve already bought, and what I still need to buy. Then I will stick to the list.
As for wish lists, my family does them. I know some people think it’s tacky, but my family takes the practical approach. We don’t want to buy something that the person won’t use or will dislike. Of course, we don’t stick stricly to the list (except for my brother – he’s a last minute shopper and is usually too harried to figure out what to get someone), but it’s a pretty useful guide. And with teenagers in the family (the nieces) it’s especially helpful for us who don’t know what’s “in” these days. Finally, the list is CRUCIAL for shopping for my dad and step-mom. They don’t need anyhing, so it’s harder to figure out what to get them.
Another thing that I try to do, is I try to shop my values. Except for those years when the nieces only wanted stuff from A&F/Hollister, I don’t shop there. I don’t like how the company is run. Along the same vein, I try to support organizations I believe are doing good, e.g., Women’s Bean Project, which helps give underprivileged women real job skills by selling bean soup mixes and such. I also try to shop locally. For example, a local farm has gourmet spices, so I get those for my brother who loves to cook.
I didn’t mention my extended family because as of about 5 years ago we decided there are entirely too many of us for gift buying for each person! We used to draw names, then we switched to buying for kids under age 15, then we did “family gifts” for awhile…then we decided the gift of time is the best we can offer so we make time to get together during the holidays. There are 5 kids in my family, 4 in-laws and my kids are the 15th and 16th grandchildren…and now there are 6 or 7 great-grandchildren! My favorite time was the family gift time—b/c I’d always get unique food and wine
gifts and everyone loves food. 🙂
I love your idea re: buying your values and shopping locally! Great reminder.
I wish this was the case in my family! I still feel obligated to buy gifts for all my cousins’ kids because I know they’re getting stuff for mine. I wish we would all just chill and share cookies or something.
One of the perks of having a small family!! My mom is an only child, I was never close to my Dad’s side of the family, and I have only two siblings and two nieces. It also helps A LOT that my boyfriend’s family stopped the gift exchange before I met him.
In reviewing what I’ve already bought vs. what I want to get people I realized that I have a budget busting tendenecy – I really, really LIKE giving stuff to people! I think this is where planning is crucial! I’ll have to keep this in mind in the future!
With 4 kids to buy for, we have a pretty strict $120 budget for “under the tree” gifts (per child). I also budget $100 total for stockings for the whole family. I prepare a list of what I plan to buy for each child, update it as I buy items so I can keep track of where I am with the budget. I do ask my kids for ideas of what they want if I haven’t picked up on ideas through out the year, though I do not encourage them to actually make out a “list”. My kids are fully aware that their gifts come from us, not Santa, so there’s no disappontment that Santa let them down. We also contribute to various toy and food drives, give donations generously and try to focus on Jesus and the spirit of giving. That’s how we plan out our Christmas. 🙂
Have you thought about spending less on the kids or going to places like Goodwill to find gifts? I know my parents spent about that much on me and my brother when we were growing up (and subsequently on my nieces and nephews), but my parents have some pretty horrific debt and if I had a choice between a Christmas gift and them not having debt – I’d choose their financial stability.
My husband and I just had our first kid. Due to how old he is we’re not getting him a gift this year because Christmas isn’t going to really register for him, but in the future – I’m hoping to limit our gifts to something he can read, something he can wear and something that he wants (within reason). I’m hoping that with that plan, I’ll be way beneath a $200 budget.
I should also couch my comments by saying that I’m really into minimalism and the materialism that’s become associated with this holiday drives me NUTS! 🙂
Hi SKM-
I do shop resale for the kids a lot. We have several great resale shops that sell things the kids like and enjoy at very good prices. We get everything at very inexpensive resale shops and goodwill throughout the year when they do need something. Both of them are very good about doing this. That may be my splurge at Christmas time b/c it is the only time they get brand new clothes. I don’t go crazy but I do like the nearby outlet malls for those things they don’t get the rest of the year. My goal is to come in under that total of $400 but I also have learned not to set it too low b/c then when I go over, the whole budget is negatively impacted!
That’s cool … good luck with your holiday shopping!
“I also have learned not to set it too low b/c then when I go over, the whole budget is negatively impacted!”
You bring up an excellent point about budgeting – you need to have realistic numbers or you could end up blowing the budget!
When my nieces were that young they just liked playing with the bows and paper 🙂 And when one of my nieces was 1 she just enjoyed opening the boxes. I think one of her favorite gifts was a tiny (but child safe) flashilight I got her. Cheap, and it provided LOTS of fun for her.
And now they are teenagers…. And the flashlight niece is in college!! Zoinks!
We kind of stress about overspending at Christmas in spite of well-thought plans. We decide on a specific dollar amount in advance and set aside monthly “payments” to savings. Then early November we divide out that total among anyone on our gift list. For my extended family there are 10 adults and 10 kids so each adult and each kind draws a name out of a hat. That way we get fewer but nicer gifts.
My wife’s brother was born on Christmas so there is always pressure to separate the “birthday” present from the “Christmas” present. Plus he is very difficult to shop for.
Then what usually happens is the $0.50-1.50 “overages” from the planned amounts add up to spending around $20 over what we planned. Then that scary monster lurks around the corner whispering, “Oh, they got us a gift out of the blue but were not on our list so we have to get them at least a tin of cookies or something…”
So by the end of the month we have usually spent around $50 more than planned (so why don’t we just up the plan by $50 for next year? One wonders!). The positive side is that we are usually done with the shopping early in the season while everyone else is last minute rushing.
Another thing we do is give a percentage of our gift total to those in need. This is on top of our Christmas savings, but part of the yearly giving budget. Some years we have been able to bless others with 100% of our Christmas budget. This year is going to be a bit tighter but we still plan to give.
That’s great that you can pay your christmas gifts in cash!
I want to buy christmas gifts this year (I didn’t budget because usually we don’t celebrate christmas) but I would have to use my credit cards. Unless, I use money from a very small emergency fund.
I see that you have a pretty good size of an emergency fund.
What do you recommend the minimum on the emergency fund amount? I feel vulnerable if i don’t have any liquid money available at all.
Dave Ramsey recommends $1,000 while you’re paying off debt. I think you can safely lower that to $500 if you’re single and/or don’t own a house.
FYI I have a generic “gift” fund that has so much in it for the entire year, and I piecemeal it out so that we still have plenty by November. Something to consider, in case next yr you have that Xmas-buying gift urge again. 😉
I’m more frugal than you. We only have one, and we limit gifts to three from mom and dad, for a total of around $50. Grandpa so far has sent another $50 every yr, so we buy him some nice fair-trade toy with that. And Grandma and Aunt always send a couple smallish things.
I am planning to give small gifts to family and friends this christmas since I’m abit tight this year.
One of the things i did was to go (first time!) to the black friday sales and bought $10 Panini Grills. I’m going to give these to my parents, partner’s parents, and siblings.
Yes, me is cheap.
We set aside the money from one of our 3 paycheck months and set it aside for Christmas Gifts. We have tons of people to buy for, lots of nieces and nephews. Every year I say that we aren’t going to, but I hate to be the one to finally stop buying for everyone.
We have 2 kids, ages 2 and 5 and we budgeted $175 per child this year which included stocking stuffers. Last year, I budgeted $125 and I went over for my oldest daughter so this year I increased the amount and found it easy to stay within budget. I got a lot of great deals on black friday and tried to buy a mixture of toys I thought they really would like and play with and some things that they needed. We are going on vacation a few weeks after Christmas and I was able to get the kids a lot of vacation stuff like new bathing suits and sandals on clearance this time of year. I also picked up some games and toys at garage sales over the summer.
One thing I realized though is that since I got so many great deals, I really could have spent a lot less and still had plenty of gifts for the kids to open. But since I had $175 for each of them, I just kept buying until I spent it all.
Every year I set our budget for the next year. I buy things all throughout the year on sale (target summer toy sale) and store them for Christmas. If I get a bonus sometimes I increase the budget or if we are on track, etc
Like you, we focus on what Christmas really means, the birth of Jesus. Our boys are grown but we have never spent much on gifts. When they were 4 and 8 I went to the local dollar store and bought cowboy hats, plastic swords, giant size sunglasses, I made them super-hero capes and Robin Hood shirts and hats. I think I spent less than $15 and if you ask them today what their best Christmas was, they will say that Christmas. I bake cookies, several varities, including Christmas cut out sugar cookies, that I give as gifts to friends, teachers, co-workers, etc. My oldest son is especially good at decorating. We have been doing this since they were young and at age 29 he still joins me for a day of decorating. A great time of catching up and a much loved tradition. After all these years of practice, we end up with some amazing cookies! I try to purchase cookie tins or plastic containers for the next years cookies after Christmas while they are on sale.
I budget $200/month starting in the summer so by Dec. 1st we have about $1,000 for Christmas. I use cash only and only buy for my husband, son and parents. We stopped gift exchange for extended family about 5 years ago. It’s usually just the 5 of us on Christmas Day anyway that get together since we’re geographically isolated from the rest of the family.
This year we decided to go big on my son and parents and spent about $500 each while keeping a small amount for my husband and I to exchange. We keep talking about no more gift exchange every year and I think this will be the last year. We wanted to spend it now and get them big ticket items we knew they would never splurge on themselves because we feel we won’t have this opportunity again with the tax situation looming.
We also give to Toys for Tots and I’m considering anonymously paying off someone’s Toys R us layaway this year. I almost paid off a guy’s layaway in front of me in line at Best Buy the other day. I was in there picking up a computer I bought my Dad and just felt a little bad for this guy. He was literally digging change from his pockets. If it hadn’t been an electronics store I probably would’ve done it. I guess I figure flat panel TVs and such aren’t a necessity, but a child getting not one toy on Christmas Day just tears me up.
Here in Canada, when we max out our contributions to Canada pension plan and employment insurance, we end up getting those contributions added to our paycheques unitil January 1st when the contribution limit starts over again. Given my income, I max out around summertime and use the $240/month til November as savings for christmas. Works well for now, but one of these years I’d like to save up all year and then use my max-out money to top up savings or add to debt payments!
Hello Jags,
I do not make enough to reach to yearly tax holiday. Several coworkers do but they don’t do anything special with the extra money. It just falls in to the regular income stream. I think having a plan for the excess is a good idea.
I struggle with gift guilt at Christmas. I am a single mom and only have to buy for my two post-secondary school aged sons and for my elderly parents. I only get a small gift for my parents but I struggle with sticking to the budget and not using the credit cards to make Christmas morning magical.
Best thing we ever did was remind our 3 kids from early on that Baby Jesus received 3 presents…So, they usually have 3-4 presents under the tree.
They are more interested in their stockings. I pick up little things throughout the year that are inexpensive from clearance racks, bookstores, etc… I love my 40 % off coupons from AC Moore, Michael’s and Joann Fabrics.
One of the best presents my son received when he was little was a box filled with different sized flashlights. He loved them They weren’t expensive, but for a little boy it was magical!
I take each of my kids to a store called ‘five below’ to buy presents for each other. They use their own money and love looking for something special.
My Gift Guilt is actually Trip Guilt…We have several friends who take major vacations at this time of year. My guilt comes from not being able to afford special trips like this because hubby and I were such knuckleheads more than a decade ago and spent money on goofy presents, instead of paying down our student loans!
Won’t make that mistake again, though!
Cash flow it all.
Check Budget/Accounts daily.
No impulsive buying.