My son has an event at school soon, and yesterday I found out that I cannot go due to work. When he got home from school I broke the news to him.
He started crying and said, “Now I won’t have my family there.”
Somehow, I was hoping he would be more okay with it, but it wasn’t okay with him at all. I reassured him that Daddy would be there.
“But I want Momma and Dadda to go.”
I tried not to cry myself, and just tried to be reassuring and I told him I’m sorry. After he left, then I started balling. I don’t like letting my son down and I’m not happy about missing something that’s important to him. I also just want to be there.
After I quit crying, then anger set in. Anger at myself for letting our debt get so high in the first place. Anger because life would be so much different right now without debt. Just anger at that nasty four letter word!
One thing about anger that can be a good thing, is that you start thinking of ways to “get back” at what is angering you. For me, I was angry at my debt because without it I wouldn’t have to work as much or I could have the freedom to start my own business and make my own hours. Then I could be there for my son. How could I “get back” at my debt (e.g. free myself of it)?
My first thought was to sell much of what I own. While I could make money from that, it would be no where near $25,000 worth. Then I thought that I would work more. That wouldn’t work because I’m pretty stressed out as is and I’m actually reducing my hours to only 40/week come January.
It’s time for me to sit down and make a better game plan. Before, it was just a matter of making as much as I could and sending as much money as I could towards our debt. It technically was a plan, but not a very fine-tuned one. It’s time to figure out the nitty gritty details.