“Money & Relationships” Archive

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Job no more…

If you are waking up to go to work this morning, you have something my husband does not…

A job.

He was laid off on Friday.

I’m struggling with this not only because of the lack of significant income but more because of how it happened. There were two employees laid off on Friday. The other employee was given three days notice, my husband was given no notice. I could understand if my husband had been at all unreliable or perhaps a bad employee, but he was neither. They simply needed some final projects completed and were worried he wouldn’t put in the extra overtime to complete them if he knew he wouldn’t have a job by Friday afternoon.

My husband has worked at this company for SIX years. I expected better from them.

I’m dealing with it the best way I can. I’m working to reduce, reduce, reduce. I’ll go more into that later.

I’m also trying my best to be something I am not – optimistic. Here’s my new list of reasons it’s G-R-E-A-T he’s unemployed:

1 – He can make all those mid-day calls to businesses only open from the annoying Monday through Friday 8-5 window. I’ve been trying to call my bank for YEARS!

2 – My husband, who is far more talented in the kitchen than I am, will cook more. Sure it will be Ramen, but it will somehow taste better since he’s making it.

3 –We won’t be weighed down by worries about job loss.

4 – We will be more creative in our bill pay process. Perhaps San Diego Gas and Electric will accept peanut butter cookies and hugs for payment? How about if the cookies are homemade?

5 – I don’t have to worry about my car getting repossessed because… I OWN IT!! And, we’re ahead in payments on the truck so we have some glide time.

6 – I will be able to empathize, once again, with some of my readers on what it’s like to not have a job and wonder how on earth we are going to pay the bills.

So here’s to my struggling readers – I’ve been there before, I’m there again, and we’ll survive it.

Posted by Beks on October 12, 2009 at 5:00 AM in Life Experiences, Money & Relationships, job loss, work | 32 Comments »
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Sliding Backwards into Credit Card Debt Again…

Our credit card WAS paid off. Obvious emphasis on the past tense.

My husband is attending a bachelor party this weekend and the event required one credit card to book the trip for all five attendees (the bill could not be split). Most of our friends know about our recent credit card payoff (maybe shouting that fact from my roof and breaking into song was a clear sign) and naturally suggested that since we ‘had the room’ on our card (as if it were free), that my husband pay for the entire trip and be reimbursed later.

I’m not going to lie. I am upset.

Perhaps I’d be more trusting if this hadn’t happened before with concert and event tickets and in the end, we were always short. People conveniently ‘forget’ to pay or promise to pay later and then get annoyed when reminded. Plus, the credit card will be kept on file in case there are damages to the room or if alcohol is consumed.

When I asked why someone else couldn’t pony up a credit card, he told me it was because everyone is nearly maxed out but us. Um… isn’t that a good reason NOT to loan these people our credit card?

My husband and I rarely fight but this is a sensitive issue for me and I feel like we are opening ourselves up to a lot of potential debt.

Am I overreacting?

Posted by Beks on September 11, 2009 at 5:00 AM in Confessions, Credit Cards, Debt Updates, Life Experiences, Loans, Money & Relationships, Spending Money | 42 Comments »
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Slowing Financial Progress… on Purpose

My husband works a lot. He works days and nights and I do what odd jobs I can to help pay our bills more quickly.

We don’t see each other often. Perhaps that’s why our marriage is so great. We don’t have time to fight – heck we’re just so darn excited to see one another we don’t really… um… talk much.

He took a rare three nights off last week and we went running and cycling together every day. We made dinner. We walked the dogs. We watched movies. We remembered what it was like to be married.

I couldn’t help but think about how wonderful it was to have him around – to see him relax, even for just a night or two. He must have been thinking the same thing. He said, ‘I want to work less and live my life more.’ He has decided to work 6 days per week and 2 nights per week – and yes, that’s a cut-back (he was working 6 days and 6 nights).

I can’t agree with him more. As he toils to pay our debt, I can’t help but wonder if our self-inflicted punishment of hard labor is worse than the crime of spending. I wonder if one day, we’ll look back and regret the time we missed when our life was just us. We can cover our bills plus some without the extra work so we’ve decided to slow down.

So… we will pay things off more slowly BUT I have my husband back – and I’ve missed him dearly.

Posted by Beks on August 11, 2009 at 5:00 AM in General Debt, Keeping Motivated, Life Experiences, Living Frugal, Making Money, Money & Relationships, Reducing Debt, Spending Money, work | 10 Comments »
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A test of my financial willpower…

This weekend is the bachelorette/bachelor party for wedding number one. My husband is heading to Lake Havasu with the guys and we ladies are opting for a weekend on the town.

My husband did an odd job fixing a sink and earned a crisp one hundred dollar bill. We decided to split the cash and use it this weekend. A ‘fair’ split would have been closer to 80 for him and 20 for me but he smiled and said, ‘Have fun’ while handing me a fifty (And that ladies…. is one of the millions of reasons why I love my man).

So, I’ve got to survive this weekend on $50…
$35 of which goes to a shared hotel with the bride to be.

It’s like going to the Cheesecake Factory and limiting yourself to 25 calories.

Should be interesting.

Posted by Beks on August 7, 2009 at 5:00 AM in Life Experiences, Living Frugal, Money & Relationships, Parties, Spending Money | 6 Comments »
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Employment Disappointment…

My husband received a letter in the mail today.

He did not get the government job.

Short Term Financial Effects:
We will be able to pay our bills at the same pace since he won’t have to take a large salary cut.

Long Term Financial Effects:
Possible unemployment in 6-8 months. No government pension and retirement healthcare.

We’re still positive. He’s working. I’m working. We’re paying our bills. We’re living below our means. The construction market has started to take an upward turn and his job has become a bit more stable. So, we went on a 20 mile bike ride, grilled some chicken, and had a glass of wine on the back patio.

In the big scheme of things… life is still pretty darn good.

Posted by Beks on July 30, 2009 at 5:00 AM in General Personal Finance, Life Experiences, Money & Relationships, work | 6 Comments »
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Overcoming Financial Mistakes…

My husband and I both know there is some padding in our checking account. Paying overdraft fees is a pet peeve of mine so I try to make sure we have a little more than we think. This month, we both used the debit card a few times and before we knew it, the padding was gone and we were well over our budget. I had to do a pricey and frustrating balance transfer from our savings to avoid an overdraft.

I am very disappointed.

This event led to the following changes:

1. More involvement by both of us. Often in relationships, one person manages the finances. When things don’t go well and money is too tight, this person feels the stress, the pressure, and the responsibility for the mess. We have both decided to dedicate and hour each week to review each transaction. Now we have more checks and balances on each others spending – otherwise, we’ll have another bad month.

2. We are refocusing our goals and setting rewards. Our next payoff is still a ways away and we’re getting frustrated and bored. We decided to give ourselves something to look forward to after our next payoff. It’s nothing huge, maybe a dinner out or a trip to the theater, but rewards between payoffs has become something we need to stay motivated.

3. Reconsidering our numbers. We went back to make sure our numbers were working for our ever changing budget. We’ve been underspending on gas and overspending on miscellaneous necessities (car repairs, house repairs, etc.). We decided to adjust our numbers and perhaps pay a little less on our credit card so we can stop panicking when things aren’t balancing. Leaving the numbers the same would be great, but it’s obviously not working and it’s causing frustration.

4. We have decided to spread our focus. It’s easy to let finances consume our thoughts and lives. Rather than let this stress grow, we decided to let ourselves enjoy other things in life. Running, swimming, yoga, gardening groups, and organizing the garage help to keep our mind free of the finance clutter in our brains.

When there are long distances between payoffs, it’s important to work at what is frustrating you. You can’t solve everything, and it will be painful, but taking steps to at least reduce stress will help to prevent burnout. I’d rather take things a bit more slowly than give up entirely.

What have you done to motivate yourself and prevent burnout?

Posted by Beks on June 29, 2009 at 7:49 PM in Confessions, Credit Cards, General Debt, General Personal Finance, Keeping Motivated, Life Experiences, Living Frugal, Money & Relationships, Monthly Spending, Reducing Debt | 5 Comments »
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Men, Women, and Money…

When my husband and I were first married, we kept our money separate.

We argued about who should pay for groceries, who should pay for dinner, and who should pay for everything in between. I hated asking him for his half of the rent each month. He was my husband – not my roommate. It finally came to the breaking point when he couldn’t afford rent and we had to clean out our savings and use our credit card to get by. We opened a joint checking account the very next month.

We learned to work beside each other and the arguing stopped.

We made our mistakes – financing nice cars, charging vacations to credit cards, and remodeling our bathroom on credit – but now that we’re working to become debt free, we are partners in the fight. I wish someone had told me early on that working together as a couple was a necessity for a good marriage and good financial health. As I listen to my co-worker talk about his wife ‘owing’ him money for tires on her car, I couldn’t help but think… ‘No wonder he’s on his third marriage.’

So how do we do it? We each get a $3 daily allowance in cash each week. I don’t care what he spends his on, and in return, he doesn’t care what I spend mine on. We usually spend the money on work clothes or a bi-weekly dinner out together. This week, we split the cost of a silly $15 video game we both would enjoy and a $25 set of solar lit pavers for our garden. (And yes I know, $3 may be more or less than you spend, but it works for us)

My husband and I rarely argue about money now that we’ve enacted the $3 daily allowance rule, but we still fight about very serious issues… like the direction of the toilet tissue.

Do you keep your money separate? Or do you have a joint account? And how much do you allow each other to ‘blow’ each day?

Posted by Beks on June 8, 2009 at 5:00 AM in Credit Cards, General Personal Finance, Good Info, Life Experiences, Living Frugal, Money & Relationships, Monthly Spending, Spending Money | 23 Comments »
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