“Confessions” Archive

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Advice…

A reader asked for some advice regarding her husband. My husband never hid debts so I don’t have any experience in this area.

How would you deal with this?:

Can you provide any suggestions for someone whose spouse is still in denial about their spending addiction? My husband has been hiding his debts from me for a long time. Now, because his bills are out of control, he can’t hide it anymore & pay his share of the household bills. I have offered to help, suggested counseling…does anyone have any suggestions?

Posted by Beks on August 30, 2010 at 5:00 AM in Confessions, Money & Relationships | 16 Comments »
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Negative Net Worth…

Buried somewhere deep inside my life insurance application is an awful question…

‘What is your total net worth?’

I calculated my mortgage debt, subtracted my tiny home value, added my student loan debt and my auto loan debt, and then subtracted my liquid cash. The total? An astonishingly huge negative number representing my net worth.

Not wanting to stop at the large, large, large negative number, I added the amount in our retirement accounts (though technically locked up for the next 27 years under mounds of government and ESOP paperwork).

I landed at a number closer to zero but still negative none the less.

I received the following question from my insurer:

PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY YOUR TOTAL NET WORTH IS A NEGATIVE NUMBER.

Yes, they wrote it in all caps. As if I needed a reminder that I’ve made some pretty large financial snafus. Little do they know that if my number landed anywhere close to zero, they’d find me dancing excitedly like a lunatic on top of the bus I take every day.

I sent a long explanatory e-mail to the agent and figured she’d understand. Instead, I received a disdainful, ‘Fine. I’ll alert your Case Manager.’

Certainly I can’t be the only one with an insanely underwater mortgage that throws off my net worth right? Let’s do a poll. Is your net worth a positive or negative number?

And if you see 14 comments after I post this that say ‘positive’ and you’re about to say ‘positive’ as well, say ‘negative’ just to make me feel better.

Have mercy.

Posted by Beks on June 29, 2010 at 5:00 AM in Confessions, General Debt, General Personal Finance, Net Worth | 50 Comments »
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Saving Money on Shampoo?

I know I shouldn’t admit this – heck, its bad enough you know how in debt I am! – but…

I don’t wash my hair very often. I wash my hair no more than twice per week… and sometimes, not even that much.

My naturally curly hair can’t handle it – that and I’d rather spend the extra hour it takes to dry my locks doing ‘productive’ things like sleeping.

But I’ve always felt lonely in my non-washing world. It’s a secretive place. No one particularly likes to hear on a Friday morning that I haven’t washed my hair since Thursday… of last week. I’d start immersing my hair in fragrant shampoo if people seemed at all put off but I have just the opposite reaction – people compliment my hair on a regular basis.

Apparently, there is a growing trend called the ‘No-poo movement’. Nope, didn’t make that up. Someone really thought ‘poo’ and ‘movement’ was a good combo. The movement is fueled by eco-conscious folks as a way to help the environment by reducing chemical usage and plastic waste but…

All I can think is, ‘woo hoo! Another way to save a buck.’ And I’m sure all you are thinking is, ‘Wow, her penny pinching ways have taken her off the deep end.’

But, give it some thought or give it a try. Let me know how it turns out!

Learn more about the ‘No Poo Movement’ at:
NPR
MSNBC
Glamour

Posted by Beks on March 26, 2010 at 5:00 AM in :), About Me, Confessions | 40 Comments »
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Family vs. Finances

My husband and I have been debating a big financial decision for a few months now. Some of my family is heading to Ireland and Italy in October and this will likely be the last and only trip we make together.

The cost of the trip?

$3,000 each.

I could say no but… I have decided to go.

Our tax refund covers the entire expense so we won’t fall behind on our debt free date.

I’m sorry to disappoint you, and I’m sure I have, but this is an opportunity I can’t turn down. Spending time with my family discovering our history across the sea, walking the same steps our grandfathers did, is important to me.

Posted by Beks on February 23, 2010 at 5:00 AM in Confessions | 67 Comments »
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Thankful for bills and weight gain?

This afternoon, a co-worker offered to take me to lunch since I had stayed late to complete a project with her. We walked to a local deli and were chatting about weight gain as we ate our giant ‘healthy’ sandwiches. I glanced at the TV hanging on the wall as she went to refill her soda while photos of Haiti popped on the screen. Police were spraying huge crowds with pepper spray because riots had broken out over food rationing.

I looked down at my doughy fresh sandwich and immediately felt guilty.

I forget that sometimes, weight gain is a blessing.

The first of the month is around the corner. I can hear the collective groan. Bills are due. Stress is high.

Be thankful for what you have. There are those who would trade you in an instant.

Posted by Beks on January 29, 2010 at 8:50 PM in Confessions | 6 Comments »
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Sprint vs. Marathon Finances…

When my husband first lost his job and I wrote about further ways to reduce my finances, a few readers gently pointed out that it looked as though I had missed making those cuts on my initial reductions for my debt free journey.

The truth is…

I didn’t.

I have two simple choices when it comes to reducing my debt. I can sprint or I can marathon.

I am currently sprinting. I’m pushing, giving it my all, and taking no breaks. Unemployment is forcing me to take a hard look at every dollar. There is no dinner with friends, no movies at theaters, no new clothes, no dental insurance, no doctor’s appointments, nothing. There is no waste.

Sure I could even go further. I could eat bread and water and be debt free faster. I could sell my car and bike to my bus stop in the dark and be debt free faster. I could stop wearing make-up, shower once weekly, and leave my electricity off and be debt free faster.

But my weariness would grow at the same sprinting pace and I would burn out before my balances ever read zero.

I can’t sprint forever and once my husband is employed again, I plan on slowing my pace to what is was before his layoff. Every once in a while, I think it’s OK to buy a $6 burger during happy hour at a nice restaurant. Once every few months, I like to buy my husband a bag of his favorite coffee.

This is my marathon. Sure, some folks will be faster and others will be slower but I’m running this debt marathon to finish – not to burn out before I see the finish line.

Are you sprinting or marathoning?

Posted by Beks on December 17, 2009 at 5:00 AM in About Me, Confessions, Spending Money, job loss | 15 Comments »
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Pick Today to be Happy…

I went to a baby shower for a woman I work with.

And yes, I know I ended the above sentence with a preposition but sometimes, ending sentences with prepositions is the only way to not sound like Yoda.

Anyway – She is upper management and comes from a wealthy family. It didn’t cross her mind that, in a company full of employees who have been on a salary freeze for two years, it’s inappropriate to ask for six car seats. Yes. Six.

Heck, it’s probably inappropriate in any crowd.

She said she needed one for each of her cars… and then threw in that she needed six cars because she has six houses.

Financially, she’s where I want to be. Wait… she’s way past where I want to be. But the reality is, she keeps talking about being ‘happy tomorrow’. She’ll be happy when ‘this’ happens or happy when ‘that’ happens. Those things come and go yet her anger and resentment stay.

I wanted to shake the unhappy look off her face and scream ‘Lady! You’ve got money, a husband, and a healthy baby. What are you waiting for to be happy?!?!’

Hmm.

What am I waiting for to make me happy? Will being debt free be the one thing that puts a permanent grin on my face?

I know the answer to that and yet I still place my happiness in tomorrow.

Perhaps that’s something I need to work on.

Posted by Beks on December 1, 2009 at 5:00 AM in Confessions | 22 Comments »
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