“Confessions” Archive

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My Fight With Zulily…

I don’t keep much junk food in my house. There are no chips in my pantry, no cookies in my cupboards, no ice cream in my freezer. It’s not that I don’t like those things, I just can’t say no to them. I’d easily weigh 100 pounds more if I kept those things in my house with any regularity.

It’s the same with my e-mail box. I’ve shared before that I don’t sign up for Groupon type websites because I can’t say no to them either. There is one exception – Zulily.com. A friend, who was pregnant at the same time, told me to try out Zulily for maternity wear. I would check the occasional discount site but it all still seemed overpriced. Most of the time, I’d delete the weekly e-mail before opening it because I stopped caring about how I dressed (I think all prego women get to that point at the end).

Unfortunately, the website also runs deals on kids clothing, accessories, and toys. Once the kidlet was born, these e-mails became less and less resistible. I found myself longing after a Noah’s Ark play set or an adorable rocking horse. I knew I was in trouble when I actually added something to a checkout cart. I didn’t actually buy anything, but I’m sliding down a very slippery slope.

Before things spiral out of control, the kiddo’s room is loaded with cute toys, and my checking account is overdrawn…

I’m cutting myself off. Goodbye Zulily e-mails. Sigh.

Maybe I’ll go buy myself a single serving of Ben and Jerry’s as a consolation prize.

Posted by Beks on October 15, 2011 at 5:00 AM in Confessions | 3 Comments »
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Faking It Financially…

I’m not the kind of girl that melts over fancy jewelry. Sure, I love my grandmother’s diamonds and my mother’s garnets, but that has nothing to do with the stones and everything to do with the fact that I love my grandmother and my mother and the jewelry reminds me of them. Even when I wasn’t dedicated to digging out of debt, I didn’t buy expensive jewelry.

Diamonds are the one thing you can fake. I can’t fake a house or a car, but I sure can wear a cubic zirconia ring that looks an awful lot like the real thing – and I do.

Of course, there is a problem…

The town near ours holds a street fair every Christmas. At this fair, one of the antiques dealers sells replica antique rings for $29. Over the years, I’ve acquired two rings from his booth. Without fail, whenever I wear the rings, someone compliments them and asks two questions…

1: Is it an antique?
2: Is it real?

Obviously, saying, ‘Nah, it’s a cheap knock-off I bought from a street gypsy who sold it to me in a tasteful paper sack held together by scotch tape’ isn’t the answer I want to give.

It’s bad enough I air my financial dirty laundry here, do I have to air the fact that I wear cheap knockoff jewelry to all who ask?

I know some of you are just as thrifty when it comes to jewelry and have stumbled across the same dilemma. What’s your best response?

Posted by Beks on June 16, 2011 at 5:00 AM in Confessions, Life Experiences | 24 Comments »
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The Fat Person in the Mirror…

There is a woman at work who always says, ‘You and I are the same size so…’ and somehow relates it to something we are talking about. Every time she says this, I get annoyed. We are not the same size. She’s four inches shorter and 15 pounds heavier.

There is another woman at work who I believed was my size. The woman was making a comment about how small my baby bump was and mentioned she was much larger when she was pregnant. A co-worker overheard us talking and remarked, ‘Yeah, but you’re so thin, a grape would make you look pregnant! What do you weigh? 100 pounds soaking wet?’

The woman replied, ‘Well, I try to keep it above 105 but it’s a struggle.’

Whoa. Hold up. 105?!?!

I haven’t seen 105 on the scale since… since… well… I saw it when I flew past it morning. Let’s just say it hasn’t actually stopped at 105 in a long time.

I’m not going to say I’m hugely fat, or even overweight, but apparently I missed the fact that over the years, I’ve softened a bit. Perhaps… I’m closer to the weight of the other co-worker than I thought. It’s happened so slowly, I didn’t see it. It sorta snuck up over the last ten years and I somehow missed it until I realized I don’t look like the woman who weighs 105.

My finances did the same thing. I got lazy, spent more than I made, and debt built up.

We forget that debt, like fat, doesn’t happen overnight. It’s the extra cookies and the must have sweaters. Think buying that $20 item you can’t live without doesn’t make a difference? The daily soda is OK?

It’s the little things that add up.

Sigh.

Guess I’ll have to start saying no a little more to the Oreos and ‘must have’ sweaters.

Posted by Beks on April 14, 2011 at 5:00 AM in Confessions | 8 Comments »
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Where did the Christmas money go?

I complained a few blogs ago about my inability to part with our budgeted Christmas money. Two years of no Christmas spending has formed some serious tightwad habits – and not in a good way.

I did buy a couple gift cards to restaurants for my siblings and I bought a shirt on sale for my husband. He also asked for a few small tools to add to his work bench so I stopped by the hardware store and bought him a gift card. I was $50 under budget and extremely proud of myself.

Shortly before Christmas, my husband called me at work and asked how much was left in the Christmas budget. When I told him, he asked if he could donate it to Rady Children’s Hospital. He had been listening to the radiothon all week and felt the kids needed it more than we did.

We donate a set amount to charity each month and in my compulsiveness, I hadn’t even thought to be more generous over the holidays.

I have become the Christmas Scrooge.

We gave the last $50 to Children’s Hospital.

Fortunately for me, I married a compulsive giver. Somewhere in the middle, I think we’ll turn out OK. Maybe next year, I’ll be a little less Scrooge-ish.

Posted by Beks on December 28, 2010 at 5:00 PM in Confessions | 12 Comments »
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Civil Service…

I am one of those weird people who honestly love jury duty. If it were possible, I would make a living out of watching court proceedings. I mean, I guess I can, but I don’t have time for law school and a couple dozen years serving at a law firm until I could sit on a bench as a judge.

As much as I love jury duty, I rarely get the chance to go. The courthouse hasn’t requested my service for three very long years. I’m like the annoying kid in class who is always raising her hand but never gets called on.

Four weeks ago, I opened my mailbox and… rays of sunshine shone from heaven and the angels sang the halleluiah chorus as I opened the cream colored summons.

Last night I called the juror hotline for my reporting time and…

My services were not needed.

What’s next? Why don’t they just off Santa and the Easter Bunny while they’re at it!

I’m ‘on call’ for the next 5 business days. Since it’s a holiday weekend, I can’t imagine the courthouse will be a hoppin’ place.

Darn.

Three years totally wasted.

Posted by Beks on September 6, 2010 at 5:00 AM in About Me, Confessions | 17 Comments »
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Advice…

A reader asked for some advice regarding her husband. My husband never hid debts so I don’t have any experience in this area.

How would you deal with this?:

Can you provide any suggestions for someone whose spouse is still in denial about their spending addiction? My husband has been hiding his debts from me for a long time. Now, because his bills are out of control, he can’t hide it anymore & pay his share of the household bills. I have offered to help, suggested counseling…does anyone have any suggestions?

Posted by Beks on August 30, 2010 at 5:00 AM in Confessions, Money & Relationships | 18 Comments »
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Negative Net Worth…

Buried somewhere deep inside my life insurance application is an awful question…

‘What is your total net worth?’

I calculated my mortgage debt, subtracted my tiny home value, added my student loan debt and my auto loan debt, and then subtracted my liquid cash. The total? An astonishingly huge negative number representing my net worth.

Not wanting to stop at the large, large, large negative number, I added the amount in our retirement accounts (though technically locked up for the next 27 years under mounds of government and ESOP paperwork).

I landed at a number closer to zero but still negative none the less.

I received the following question from my insurer:

PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY YOUR TOTAL NET WORTH IS A NEGATIVE NUMBER.

Yes, they wrote it in all caps. As if I needed a reminder that I’ve made some pretty large financial snafus. Little do they know that if my number landed anywhere close to zero, they’d find me dancing excitedly like a lunatic on top of the bus I take every day.

I sent a long explanatory e-mail to the agent and figured she’d understand. Instead, I received a disdainful, ‘Fine. I’ll alert your Case Manager.’

Certainly I can’t be the only one with an insanely underwater mortgage that throws off my net worth right? Let’s do a poll. Is your net worth a positive or negative number?

And if you see 14 comments after I post this that say ‘positive’ and you’re about to say ‘positive’ as well, say ‘negative’ just to make me feel better.

Have mercy.

Posted by Beks on June 29, 2010 at 5:00 AM in Confessions, General Debt, General Personal Finance, Net Worth | 56 Comments »
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