by Jim
I am not even sure where to begin with writing this, as it is one of the hardest things I have had to do. It was quite obvious to everyone that my post last week was a blatant, plagiarized post. It was obvious to everyone but me, until I did some research of my own. So I want to go on the record and say that yes I took the content from Baker’s site Man vs Debt and made it appear as my own.
This is simply inexcusable. I am appalled by my own actions and my reactions to everybody afterwards. I defended myself knowing full well that I didn’t go looking to rip off anyone’s material when I wrote the post. I know where my honor lies these days and to have it called out, made me angry and emotional. Funny thing, my honor gone all to hell anyway.
This post isn’t about the reasons or “excuses” that made this all happen. Even though there are some, I don’t want to make any. I want to take my lashes and move on from here and try to gain back my credibility (what little there is.)
I am sorry, it won’t happen again. If this is something you can forgive, I will be more than happy to stay. Even if it is just one of you, that is more than enough for me.
Thank you and if there is that one person, I will see you next week.
My deepest apologies,
Jim
I forgive you Jim. I agree with the lines of Baker’s comment. We are human and we make mistakes. Though I don’t think plagiarism should be tolerated or excused, I do believe in forgiveness and moving forward.
I think most the frustration of other commenters was stemming from the denial of the plagiarism.
I believe these are the kinds of things people move forward from and learn from. I don’t get the feeling you will be plagiarizing again (probably ever in your life). If you do, you have much deeper issues. 😀 I think it was brave to make this post. Take care.
Jim, yes, we all make mistakes.
But I expect from people your age to be adult enough to fess up to them & not to make excuses.
I hope you continue blogging, but please put in some more effort into your posts, tell your own story & don’t fob us with some unrelated lists / how to’s / copied content whether it’s from someone else or yourself (talking about the Yard Sale post http://www.thefrugalpennypincher.com/05/18/finance/getting-out-of-debt/how-to-host-a-yard-sale-and-make-money/ ) .
This won’t be happening again.
Thank you Jim. I appreciate the difficulty of coming clean and admitting one’s mistakes. As said before, we are all human and make mistakes. How we react and come back from those mistakes is what defines our character.
You remind me of a used car salesman, one that will say and do any hustle he can to make the sale.
No thanks.
I had the same thought.
I agree….but I do appreciate the fact that apologizing was a difficult thing to do.
Spot on Heather!
So you accidentally copied, edited and reposted someone else’s content?
Thanks for writing this, Jim. I know that it took a lot of humility. Galatians 6:1 talks about restoring a person gently who has been caught in a transgression. And which of us has not been caught in something?
Frankly, I was gobsmacked by the level of visceral outrage at what Jim has now confessed to doing. To me, it reveals as much about the commentators as Jim himself.
I wish Jim and all the bloggers much success, but I am finished reading this blog. The judgments, the unkind remarks, and the better/smarter/holier than thou attitude is just such a turn-off.
I am confused by these statements.
“It was obvious to everyone but me, until I did some research of my own. ” – Are you saying that you didn’t know about the ‘similarities’ until you researched and found the original article?
” I defended myself knowing full well that I didn’t go looking to rip off anyone’s material when I wrote the post.” – What does this even mean?
Yeah, I don’t even totally understand this post. Did you intentionally take the material or not? You say you took the content, but then that you didn’t mean to? This all gets to the heart of my issue with you as a blogger… I don’t think you’re transparent with us and I don’t think you’re really trying. I hope you really use this as a fresh slate for your debt repayment and this blog.
Those statements confused me as well… not sure how to take this post.
It means I am admitting guilt, and that I didn’t want the post anything that took away from that. As my first, second, and third drafts had reasons and excuses in it, I didn’t want that.
Stop evading, come clean. What really happened? Right now I call BS.
This. Exactly.
I think there is a self-actualization side to paying off debt that you need to consider. The process of self-actualization is often rooted in ‘What makes me happy’? It’s really easy to buy stuff because we think it makes us happy. Sometimes this leads to buying more stuff that we can afford, which leads to debt. Debt undoubtably takes away from unhappiness and it becomes a vicious cycle.
Jim – I think you need to take some time to really think about what makes you happy. What makes your wife happy. I hear things like, “I want to re-marry my wife, because her original dress wasn’t perfect.” Is the dress what makes a happy marriage? And no judgment from me if that’s the decision you come to, but I think you and your wife need to figure this out in order to be sucessful. Otherwise, you’ll pay off this debt only to accrue more in pursuit of happiness..
So the question for you Jim is are you willing to actually take into consideration what the BAD community has to offer you? Clearly, we picked up on the plagerism in a hot minute. We’re not interested in you sticking around if you are unwilling to listen to the advice, unwilling to change, and unwilling to do what it takes to get out of debt. Most of us here have either been in your shoes with debt payoff or are still paying off debt. We’re here to support you and to motivate ourselves. We’re here to keep ourselves honest as we stay the course.
Hi Walnut,
Thanks for the question. Let’s try to answer your two questions. Of course the dress doesn’t make a happy marriage, but we really rushed our wedding (threw it all together in like a week). I am a little sad though that we don’t have any real pictures from the wedding, and that my wife was unhappy with the dress.
And your second question, I have taken many things into consideration and even implemented much of it. There are only a few things that I am unwilling to change, and I am sure that is most people. Granted my few things are big things. But I like I said I do listen to all advice and try most to use as much as I can.
I am glad you are back.
I was all for you Jim. But now I’m confused…. You didn’t actually have a garage sale after all? What is the point of writing on the blog to focus on paying down debt when you won’t even write about what’s happening in your life? No wonder why everyone is confused with your story because you are writing about things that happened years ago as if they happened this weekend!
I don’t mind that you reuse content from your old blog. But at least put up a disclaimer to say its old material. I don’t want to rail on you because I’d like to think you had the best intentions. Maybe you could not think of any content so you found a relevant post from the past. But a simple, “Hey I was rushed for time this week and couldn’t think of anything. Here’s a post from a few years ago when I had a yard sale to make some extra cash.” would be sufficient.
Hi Angie,
Glad you asked that, I am actually having a garage sale, that post (yes it was recycled). I am preparing for it a few months in advance so I can actually find what I can sell on EBay and Amazon while at the same time putting things into place that I didn’t do last time around.
You are right that I should have put a disclaimer, wasn’t really thinking about that. And for that I apologize. I would say I will do that in the future, but from here on out I will not be using any old posts or anything to that sorts.
Thanks
While I wish you well on your journey to becoming debt free, I’m not sure this blog is a good fit for you. It seems like you stir up controversy, whether it’s by plagiarizing another blog post, doing things unconventionally (not necessarily a bad thing), or your unclear writing style. While I’m sure that the controversy is good for blog traffic, it takes away from the reason that most people are here.
You made a mistake, owned it, apologized, and now you can move on with those readers that choose to still follow you. I will be one of them. Personally, I don’t think this mistake is the shocking horror that some others seem to believe it is. I think it was lazy and poorly-written. It was also nothing more than a jab at those that do things differently from you. I never did see the point of the post, except to inflame emotions and generate comments (thus proving your value thru number of comments, perhaps?).
However, as you read all of the negative comments keep in mind that readers see only what you have chosen to show them. And most people see things in black and white – good and evil. We don’t yet know you well enough to see all of your good qualities. We don’t know the character and values you have (and yes, you have them) that you wife, your family, and your friends see. To us, you’re still an outline of a person. Let us get to know you by writing about your own struggles and issues, and we will be able to put this one event (out of thousands in your lifetime) in perspective.
Good luck.
You shouldn’t resign Jim, you should be fired. Plagiarism is unacceptable on any level. It was interesting because when I read the post my first thought was that it didn’t sound like your writing and it was devoid of your grammatical errors. The only reason you are apologizing is because you didn’t get away with it. It speaks to your character if nothing else.
As for the site owner, there should be some rules of conduct for all bloggers. At a most basic level, plagiarism should not be allowed.
For anyone blogging, stealing entire content, partial content or any content, even a sentence, is unacceptable. If a person is honest about their debt journey, there will be a lot of content. Honesty really is the best policy. I don’t have to agree with everything a blogger writes, but I will respect a person who is honest about their journey and one that is making a good effort.
Agreed completely.
Plagiarism should be unacceptable…period. It’s great that you owned up to and apologized but it is still unacceptable and to me you shouldn’t be allowed to blog as it is stealing. No workplace would allow someone who stole to continue to work there. Just my 2 cents.
Yes I have to agree with Mary. It’s theft and can’t be tolerated or overlooked. I also found your post confusing and unclear. Personally, I think you should move on from this blog, taking to heart the lessons you have learned.
Reputation takes a lifetime to build and only a moment to destroy. You have destroyed your reputation here, but you can choose to change and keep building a good reputation offline.
Sin has consequences, even if you are forgiven you still have the consequences to deal with, in this case losing the trust of blog readers.
Be honest with yourself and acknowledge your wrongdoing, and choose not to repeat it. You will be a better man for it. Your wife will love having a husband who chooses honesty and integrity.
i’m glad you owned up to it. people will have mixed feelings about how this all went down, and what should happen next. if you and jeffrey have made the decision you to stick around, i guess it’s time to put this to rest and move forward with your story. people want to see your debt journey. good luck.
Since you asked I will say that I do not think you should continue to blog on this site. From the beginning of your posts I have questioned your commitment to becoming debt free. Some of your ideas seem more like schemes rather than action plans. I have found the tone of your posts to be argumentative and defensive. This latest hubbub appears to support my view of you as someone who is “looking for an angle” and less than authentic. It was been a long and difficult path for me to become debt free. I understand when people have setbacks and make poor choices. But with you I have never felt like you were telling us about your life bur rather telling us a story, maybe with some facts interjected but ultimately fiction. I think this blog will be better with you gone. I wish you the best but hope not to hear from you again.
The only thing needed in this post was one sentence: “I plagiarized, and I’m sorry.”
As other people have pointed out, even your apology is worded in a confusing and misleading way. And then, when people point this out, your response is “I’m admitting guilt.” Guilt for what?
I’m not sure if it’s just me, but your evasiveness makes my head want to explode. Just say it! You plagiarized!
I do agree that it only needed that. I wrote and rewrote this post. I can see where you think I am being evasive. But the fact of the matter is that I didn’t want the post to have any excuses or reasons. I rather just admit it and go from there
Seriously, you are getting argumentative again? Already?
You half-heartedly acknowledged copying someone else’s comment.
You denied it, and have not addressed it – ie. you lied.
There are vaguenesses in your post about excuses, reasons, and you continue to be evasive about that.
Come clean or go home.
I did come clean. And I wasn’t trying to be argumentative, that is why while you were probably posting up this comment I was editing what I was writing.
Explain how you ‘accidentally’ stole content, explain why you lied about it, and explain why you deserve to stay.
AS – this blog makes you angry in your heart. the stress will lead you to an early grave. it’s not worth it, really.
Here is a link for you: The 10 Happiest Places on the Internet. Maybe it will help.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/30/positive-thinking-the-10-_n_2582102.html
HERE HERE!
I don’t think Jim was being argumentative, but you (AS) certainly are.
Hi Scarr,
AS was pointing to something that I edited. Basically it said if you are pointing out things why don’t you point out, “I want to go on the record and say that yes I took the content from Baker’s site Man vs Debt and made it appear as my own. ” I quickly edited it because after reading it over again it sounded like I was getting snobby. As I was editing it, AS’s comment came up.
Yes, I do let this get to me more than I should. The zen-ish link but it didn’t really hit home for me. Thanks for your concern though 🙂
What gets me about this situation is, Jim’s apology was insincere. He apologized for stealing content, suggested that happened accidentally, and did not [initially] apologize for lying about it.
Jeffrey, through his silence, appears to condoning Jim’s behavior and it would appear has asked you to be his proxy in defending Jim rather than taking a clear stand for himself. And that in my mind is a failure in his leadership.
Whoa there – let me be explicitly, perfectly clear.
1. I have had no contact with Jeffrey on this matter and I am NOT in any way doing his bidding. I am simply a reader and commenter. (I, too, am perplexed at his silence on this but he has every right to maintain it).
2. I am also not condoning or defending Jim. Plagiarism is wrong and unacceptable. But I do think he has been essentially crucified for it. Jeffrey, Mr. Baker, and Jim have apparently reached an understanding and I think it’s time for everyone to just. move. on. This is not the Jerry Springer Show. It’s reached mind-boggling levels of drama and I think qualifies as bullying. It is one blog on one website in the whole universe of the internet. In the grand scheme, it is just not important.
To Adam’s last response “whoa there…” [I’m unable to respond to the actual entry, I think we’ve reached some system limit].
Fair enough, I apologize for saying that you were writing at Jeffrey’s request. I was under the impression that was the case, but I was mistaken.
Your second comment about your own opinion on plagiarism and moving forward from this drama, I think that’s fair. Still disappointed that Jeffrey chose not to do the same, speak up and take a stand.
An understanding has been reached and Jim knows that anything like this happening again won’t be tolerated. All those affected were contacted, explained the situation, came to agreement and the issue has been resolved.
AS – thanks for taking time to say that.
“I defended myself knowing full well that I didn’t go looking to rip off anyone’s material when I wrote the post.”
This comment is both confusing and misleading. You admit that you plagiarized material from Man vs. Debt, but then you go on to say that you did not intend to steal any material when you wrote the post. That statement does not make any sense. You stole the material and absolutely intended to pass it off as your own.
It seems then that you and I are on the same page. I would LOVE for you to just admit it without any other excuses, vague wording, misleading sentences (i.e. “It was obvious to everyone but me, until I did some research of my own.” or “I defended myself knowing full well that I didn’t go looking to rip off anyone’s material when I wrote the post.”). What are you saying??
I don’t need a paragraph explaining how you’re not going to give excuses i.e. “This post isn’t about the reasons or ‘excuses’ that made this all happen. Even though there are some, I don’t want to make any.” (even though you just let it be known that there ARE reasons aka excuses in that sentence). All I (and probably the majority of the readers) want is a plainly worded confession. Not an ‘I didn’t mean to take someone else’s work, but oops I guess I did and I’m sorry’. Simple, precise, and clear. That’s it.
The worst part of all of this is that the readers are telling you over and over what they want from you, and it seems to go in one ear and out the other. We ask you to admit to your wrongdoing, you deny it. When the evidence and outcry is finally so damning that you must comment on chaos, you “admit” in such a way that the reader comes out still confused on what happened, infuriating them even more. Listen to us, please.
That is what I tried to set out to do Alexis. I admitted without any excuses, and everyone is demanding that I tell them these. All I wanted to do is say I did it, I’m sorry, and it won’t happen again.
I just want to say that I’ve found it difficult to trust anything Jim has been posting from the very beginning. Some of his post were actually very good and insightful (creating a budget, income vs. spending) but most seem to have been on the periphery of the believability. And now seeing all this come out in wash has given my feelings true form. Thanks for the pseudo apologies, Jim, but that won’t keep me around on your day.
As others have posted, it wasn’t just the plagiarism (which was bad but probably forgivable for many/most), it was the denial of responsibility at the time. As in history, the coverup is almost worse than the crime. I agree that this post seems to be accepting responsibility for _something_, but has a lot of oddly phrased statements that introduce some doubt as to the exact intent.
I will keep reading, but I don’t blame others for not.
am i the only one reading this who thinks it is very murky in meaning?
” It was obvious to everyone but me, until I did some research of my own.” what does this sentence mean?
“I defended myself knowing full well that I didn’t go looking to rip off anyone’s material when I wrote the post.” again what does this sentence mean?
i really do hate to pick this post apart this way but i do not understand what you are trying to say.
it seems as if you are admitting guilt under duress but at the same time saying “i’m not guilty, wink wink.”
This post isn’t about saying I am not guilty. I totally am. There are reasons why I denied the responsibility last week, but those reasons no longer matter, nor should they. Therefore I really don’t think I will share them.
The fact of the matter is that I did it. And I will take all the criticism and skepticism for it and move on from here.
No, the reasons do matter–they let us know why you felt entitled to take someone else’s writing and pass it off as your own, why you thought readers wouldn’t catch on, and why/how this plays into the obfuscation and lack of transparency and honesty that the blog readers have brought up–not just in regards to the plagairism but in reaction to many of your posts.
You’re using the word “honor” but seem to have a real mushy concept of what that word means and how it applies to your day-to-day dealings with the world.
no, the reasons don’t matter, the readers here aren’t entitled to be privy to every thought or action a blogger has/does.
who’s really being the “entitled” one here?
Adam-
I think I must disagree with you on this point. Based on the circumstances, I think we are entitled to learn the reasons he did it. I will present two reasons why: 1. Lack of transparency has been a constant issue between Jim and the readers. 2. In this instance, his refusal to share his reasons leads me to believe that the only reason he has is that he did not think he would get caught plagiarizing a five year old blog post.
He’s the blogger. He can decide what to share. There is no entitlement whatsoever. You may read or not, and you can ask Jim to share details with you. But there is no entitlement. If you don’t like what he says just don’t read anymore.
Adam, I agree with you. A blogger is not compelled to share everything that the readers want or feel “entitled” to know. For instance, with my grown children, I would not dream of sharing anything about them. If I were a blogger here, I would expect to receive advice and help ONLY on what I chose to share. If I did not share some things, then I would conclude it is not relevant, and therefore, not on the table for discussion.
Here it is… I don’t feel as I was entitled to anything. If I posted anything other than this, I feel as if my apology would be for nothing. I will then be criticized for why I chose to do it. My refusal to share this information isn’t because of that reason, but because simply I don’t think there is a reason good enough for what I did.
thank you jim for a clearly worded response. i do wish you good luck.
I have to admit, I expected to hear from Jeffrey today, especially since Baker commented that he contacted him. I think it would be smart to let readers know more about what went on behind the scenes that led to his decision to keep Jim on. I think it would also be smart to lay out some expectations going forward, from both writers and commenters.
I guess I am okay with Jim staying, most of the time I may read his stuff but I have given up on commenting much for a multitude of reasons.
Cheers,
Meghan
The issue has been resolved with all parties affected being involved. Jim knows that nothing like this will be tolerated again in the future.
I agree that I expected to hear from Jeffery today and still hope to. I really haven’t enjoyed Jim’s posts and the plagiarism is just too much and then you add this super weak and confusing apology.
I hope Jim leaves- I wish you luck on your journey but really don’t think that you are committed to it. Your comment above in regards to wishing that you had ‘real’ photos from you wedding points back to your spending on all the photo packets on your son- I just don’t think your priorities are there.
I don’t think you are right for the site and certainly won’t be reading your content.
The issue has been resolved with all parties affected being involved. Jim knows that nothing like this will be tolerated again in the future.
I missed the entire episode but in a workplace, plagiarism is grounds for dismissal. At post secondary you can be expelled.
Perhaps this lack of discipline is why you have problems with a ‘real’ job and focussing on debt repayment. Good luck to you
Half-hearted/under duress apology at best.
I agree with the other commenters that you are not a good fit for this blog.
I also think that you need to take a good long reflective look in the mirror and admit to YOURSELF that you are a scammer/charlatan.
All of the readers of this blog can see this just by the few posts you have done on this blog.
I can’t imagine what that translates to in real life.
Are you this person your portray?
It’s very sad for your children if that is the case.
I don’t understand why he isn’t fired yet. Plagiarism is a disgrace to this website. He claims to own up to it, but he doesn’t really. Jim, what are you sorry for? “Accidentally” copying?
I just do not understand why Jim simply did not write a post in his own words about what he thought about the subject matter of the post at Man vs. Debt putting a link to the original post. Why not say something like “The other day I saw a post about couple’s finances at Man vs. Debt at this link…………. I personally feel…….” Many times other posts inspire us and we may use the ideas but at least we can reference the original material and use our own words explaining what “we” think. I do not like the way Jim apologized either. He may stay or he may go but I will not be reading him any further.
this is a reasonable question. i used the format of posts i found at other blogs (he said/she said) but it wasn’t hard to give credit, link back to the original blog, and write a few words of my own.
I certainly do not support plagiarism in any way, shape or form, buy have you all read through these comments? So far, Jim has been likened to a used car salesman, a charlatan, a scammer, a liar, a bad writer, etc.etc. At least nobody said he was a bad husband or father, or at least, I don’t think they did.
Come on, people, I see Jim as a young man who is a little rough around the edges. I don’t see some latent criminal as many seem to. Getting on track in life sometimes takes a little time for young people who come from unstable backgrounds. (I don’t know if this is the case with Jim.) His service in the military (nobody seems to remember this about Jim), marriage and fatherhood all help to mature young people. I see Jim on a path with a few detours, but I think he will get there.
We all do stupid things, whether we are young OR old. Good heavens, I did a lot more reckless things in my younger years than lift a copy of someone’s writing and fudge an excuse. I think Jim really wants the help, but do the readers want to offer that help or vilify him?
+1 for this. The person who was wronged asked everyone to put the pitchforks down in his comment on Jim’s previous post. Let’s try to increase the level of civility here.
I agree. Everyone deserves a second chance. As a reader, I’m willing to give one here.
Jim – although I am not sure I think you continuing to blog for this site is going to be good for you – I do support your decision to stick with the blogging. Since Jeffery has decided this is okay, I am going to support him and this blog. The plagiarism sucked mostly because it could have been so easy for you to at least link back and/or state it was a post written by another blogger. But that wasn’t exactly what upset me the most. Last week, you gave us your resignation, and I don’t blame you for that – but then you rescinded. Like I just said, I will continue to read your posts should you keep blogging, but I do think you should really consider how you will be treated by some readers who will probably never get over the plagiarism and a lot of the commenters never seemed to like what you had to say. I worry that constructive comments will be lost in a sea of negativity. And although I don’t know you personally, I don’t want to see anyone treated so harshly.
Good luck Jim!
Thank you scarr. And you are totally right about this being easily avoided. But there simply is no excuse for it. I do want to tell my side of this, but I simply can not. I don’t want there to be reasons or excuses, just an apology.
I’d love to hear from the owner(s) of the site explaining why Jim’s plagiarism is being tolerated.
So would I. There is a contact us button on the bottom of the blog that if you click and open in an application, you can copy the email address to send an email from your email provider.
I believe I will just send the owner an email, and would hope I’m not the only one.
An understanding has been reached and Jim knows that anything like this happening again won’t be tolerated. All those affected were contacted including Debt vs Man, explained the situation, came to agreement and the issue has been resolved.
Hi Jeffrey,
I’m actually more likely to stop reading the site with the recent abundance of new ads (and obnoxious surveys) than anything that Jim posts. Any chance we can rein it in a little bit?
Obviously I understand that this is a business, but ultimately if you are making it difficult for people to read older posts, your new readership is going to dry up…
There has only been one new ad placed on the blog which is currently being tested. The survey ad which should appear only once a week after answered. You can also avoid them all together by reading the post on the front page so there is no need to answer them if you don’t want to. If you answered and they are appearing more than once a week, please let me know. Any other ads you have seen have always been on the site.
The bloggers here don’t get paid at all for blogging. We are trying to find a way that they can earn a little bit for telling their story because they do put in a lot of time writing here.
Fair enough, thanks for taking the time to respond!
I am getting the survey every time I open the site. I have answered it at least 3 or 4 times this week alone.
Looking into this. It shouldn’t be happening.
Commenting here may be a terrible decision but, here goes. What Jim did was bad. Very bad. I’ll even go as far as to say that the apology may not have been worded quite as I’d have liked but I think stepping up and admitting what happened must have been very difficult and good for him for taking that step. Stuff happens y’all, and the only thing you get when you beat a dead horse is blood and guts.
Hear hear! I think the whole i’m the only one that didn’t realize what is going on spiel was unnecessarily mysterious but hey – there’s not contract that everything has to be shared.
At this point – can we just move on? Those that don’t want to read, don’t read – there’s 3 other bloggers and it clearly states who wrote what so it’s pretty easy to ignore.
I think people are taking this a little too personally – nobody is saying it’s right and i’m certainly not satisfied with the “apology” but it is what it is and how many things have you done in the last 2 days that would be considered wrong if you posted it online? Let’s not act like this is the devils spawn please (Said because i read so many references to sin and so forth).
To Jeffery or whoever controls the comments – this might be a good chance to close comments. i don’t think anything else really constructive is being said here.
We don’t close comments on this site. The bloggers have the right to remove comments that they feel are out of bounds, but discussion, no matter how uncomfortable, is part of this blog.
As far as I’ve read, you have one day a week to post about your money/debt. And you’ve ‘used’ somebody else’s material and recycled your own (your own admission). Do you have nothing new? You’re not that far into this… is this as good as it’s going to get?
Hey, everyone out there. Maybe this will be the last comment. Can every single person who has commented here swear that they have NEVER plagiarized anything at all? How about that high school term paper? Remember that essay in college? I bet there are plenty of people who lifted a paragraph or two right from some resource material and passed it off as their own. Did you copy a friend’s work and hand it in as your own? Did you give a friend one of yours to copy? (I did.)
What’s that about looking at the speck in someone else’s eye and forgetting about the log in our own? Think about it.
Hi Jim-
I’m writing this note with the best of intentions, though I realize you and others may take it in the wrong way and criticize my views. I completely understand if that ends up being the case.
After being an avid reader of BOD since the days of Beks, I’ve almost completely stopped reading since the four new bloggers took over (which I was a total advocate of!). Mostly, I’ve stopped reading because I just can’t keep up with the constant new posts (which, I think is a good thing) but also because of the turn in tone I’ve noticed with your posts.
I understand the frustration with the wife’s ex, let me tell you, I do, but I don’t think the tone or the details are appropriate for this site.
Clicking over to the site today and reading your apology and the comments of others also reminds me of your initial posts on monthly finances and the difficulty of making ends meet while endeavoring to work for yourself. While I give you kudos for trying to strike out on your own (believe me, I’d love a bit of on-the-job-autonomy myself), I’m concerned about the financial and quality of life sacrifices your family is making in order to provide you with the professional autonomy.
In short, the work situation, the tone and details about the ex, and the apology (and the reason for the apology) make me think that there is a lot more at play here with you internally. I’m not going to go into it anymore, I think you and the readers will know where I’m going with this…
I do wish you all the best, Jim. I hope you and others understand that I write this with the best of intentions.
Regards,
Tara
Jeffrey,
I was going to just assume when we didn’t hear from you by this afternoon that we wouldn’t, but something you keep reiterating in your comments is rubbing me wrong. You are saying, “all parties affected have been contacted” that isn’t necessarily true; the readers have been strongly affected by this and there have been many calls to hear from you.
Jim,
I believe there is a pattern to when readers ask for more and then get upset at the “lack of transparency.” It usually begins with the phrase going something like: “there were reasons that I won’t get into.” Next time you find yourself using this phrase, perhaps you should consider whether that phrase must be included, why you don’t want to share, and if you don’t want to share whether it is a topic you want to write about it at all. Also, if seems that you like to write in a stream-of-consciousness kind of way, while there is nothing wrong with that, I feel that is where a lot of the misunderstandings begin to come in. Perhaps you could start writing your posts a few hours or a day earlier, then go back to what you have written and read it yourself for clarity and context. I really do mean this to be helpful, not snarky (everyone is on edge today so I want to be sure to clarify this point). These two things seem to be major triggers for readers, if you are going to continue blogging here the going will probably be really rough for a while and I hope these things may make the road a bit smoother.
-Meghan
“You are saying, “all parties affected have been contacted” that isn’t necessarily true; the readers have been strongly affected by this and there have been many calls to hear from you.”
The readers weren’t affected by the plagiarism as it wasn’t their writing that was taken — that was an issue with Man vs Debt. Your trust of Jim may have been compromised and he is well aware of that, and that he must earn that back.
I hadn’t planned to join this discussion but changed my mind. I do believe this situation from start to finish has been full of ” what not to do” for future posts. For an apology to seem sincere, all that should be said is “Yes, I screwed up and I am sorry”. No other words, excuses are needed. That is why to me, the apology didn’t ring true. I get the feeling that Jim does like to have the last word in disagreements. I do believe he can use this as a valuable learning and character experience and eventually win back trust of this community if he is true.. If you are unhappy with this blogger and the handling of this situation, you are certainly entitled. However, there are three other bloggers that are looking to this community for your advice, encouragement and accountability. Please don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Many of you upset are certainly entitled to feel as you do…just remember in many disputes, innocent people also get wounded. Continue to support the bloggers that you are comfortable with, that are being real and putting it out there for the world to see. They have asked for your help. Let’s continue to help them in their debt free quest. So many of you have excellent ideas, stories of encouragement, tips, etc. Keep sharing. We all benefit from that experience.
Mary,
Thanks for bringing this up! I often think about how Jim’s post seem to receive much more attention (most likely because when a post elicits emotions people are more apt to comment) than the other bloggers- even though they’re the ones laying it all out for the readers with open honesty each week.
Anyway, I’m glad you mentioned this, and I know where my attention will be from now on.
Mary – I have been avoiding commenting on this thread as I didn’t want to give it any more attention. But I agree with you wholeheartedly! I feel sorry for the other 3 bloggers who are ‘putting it all out there’ while Jim’s drama continues to drag on. My comments will be saved to encourage the ladies who are doing an awesome job paying down their debt
Jeffery I disagree with you as I feel that the readers have been affected both by Jim’s plagiarism and also by his initial lies about the plagiarism. His final apology is again poorly written and full of holes as multiple readers have pointed out. By saying that “The issue has been resolved with all parties affected being involved.” indicates that you don’t consider the readers on the blog as a part of the process. I think your choosing to allow Jim to continue when there has been this and past issues is the final straw for this long time reader.
We specifically set up the blog with several different voices this time around to give different perspectives. The readers were part of the process in choosing which bloggers they wanted. Some readers have expressed that he deserves another chance and others, like yourself, feel that he doesn’t. I and Man vs Debt decided to give him another chance with the understanding that it won’t be tolerated in the future. If you don’t like Jim’s posts and don’t want to give him another chance, don’t read his posts. It really is as simple as that.
I used to love reading this blog but even your tone seems a little harsh and you sound like you are offended that people are even offering their opinions. You will probably lose readers over this.
Honestly, I can’t ever tell who wrote which post when it comes to my email (gmail) b/c it doesn’t tell me who wrote it.
Not being harsh at all, just explaining the situation and being realistic. I’m never offended by people giving their opinions (I’ve been doing this way too long to get offended anymore and it’s one of the reasons that comment section here is as wild as it is — people are allowed and encouraged to give their opinions). That doesn’t mean that they will always have happen what they want which would be impossible since there’s such a variety of opinions. In the end, I make the final decision.
I understand that a lot of people don’t like JIm and his writing. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I personally believe that you can learn as much from those you don’t agree with as you can from those that you do. I also know that we all make mistakes. You likely wouldn’t be reading a blog about debt if you hadn’t made a few financial mistakes along the way.
Once Jim was picked, my job is to help him try to share his story about blogging away his debt. I don’t agree with everything he has done, but this isn’t my story, it’s his. As long as he feels that he is learning from the community and this blog is helpful to his debt reduction story, then he has a place here. The same is true with all the other bloggers. They are the ones sharing their story and putting it out there for all to read (something that is much harder than most people realize).
There is always the risk of losing readers when you try something new like we have done here. We knew that when we decided to give that a try. While we hope not to, we know that this new blogging style won’t be for everyone.
We hoped that by giving people a number of different bloggers, there would be less pressure on the bloggers because lack of content was a big complaint in the past. We have tried to make it as apparent as possible who is blogging (each has their own color when responding to comments, each has their own day to post, etc — we are always open to new ideas on how we can make this better). I have passed on your suggestion to Nate to see if there is an easy way can let readers know in emails which blogger the post is coming from — you should know Monday – Thursday since they have specific days, but I agree that it would be better if each was tagged and Fri- Sun could be from any of them.
Maybe for those receiving the posts via email, the writer can put their name in the title or something…ex: Jim: How To Even Begin
There should be an easier solution to this than that…we’ll see what we can figure out.
I think it would be best for Jim to just bow out now. No one is going to want to read his posts or probably believe any of what he writes from this point on.
Personally, I think having 4 people write posts is way to many to keep up with and keep each story straight as to who wrote what in the past and whose debt belongs to who.
except there HAVE been people who have said they will continue to read (skim all 96 posts).
Jeff is right – if you are not a fan – ignore it. 3 other people who post 2 or 3 times a day that generate enough content to keep you engaged.