by Claire
I have never had an issue with talking about death and dying and what we all need to do to help our loved ones when the time comes for our passing. Maybe it has something to do with my parents having me in their 40’s at a time when people just weren’t having babies in their 40’s. My mother often talked about her mortality–sometimes in a heavy way but more often with a healthy dose of humor. While I can’t say this led to Mom being ready to do the “must do’s” related to mortality, it did give me a real sense of the importance of planning…not dwelling, mind you…but not completely denying the reality either.
With the issues regarding my Aunt in a nursing home and then my own aging parents, I just don’t put this stuff off. What’s the state of your estate? Take time this week to talk to your loved ones and make a plan of some sort. It may not be feasible to buy your pre-paid funeral plan or figure out all details right now, but do something to move in that direction! Losing a parent at any time is a traumatic event, please don’t leave your kids with more trauma because you have not communicated anything about your desires for your funeral and done nothing to deal with the property you have at the time of your passing. It will cost your loved one dearly on the financial front if they have to start from scratch.
In Texas, we can do a hand written will. It isn’t ideal, but it is an option. Look into your state’s laws and see what you can do yourself. If you need help, there are a lot of very reasonably priced options for basic will drafting. Be sure to have the various power of attorney documents as well and don’t forget the advanced directive. I’m not giving legal advice here…this stuff is important and easily accessible on the internet.
Why the sudden rant? I just spent 2 hours messing with stuff related to my Aunt not being able to handle her legal affairs. It is a nightmare as it is…I can’t imagine if I didn’t have the proper legal documents to get me through much of the red tape.
Born and raised in Texas. I’ve at least driven through every state in the US courtesy of a roadtrip loving Dad.
I’m single with two children and a good parenting relationship with their father.
I am a “life is just half full of funny” kinda gal. Humor is my saving grace and I am thankful for it every single day. I have a strong Catholic faith and am thankful for that foundation.
I read a lot for a living but still enjoy a good book. I love biographies but in recent years have found the need for fun fictional books–sadly, for a long time I just didn’t enjoy fiction!
I love live theatre of any kind–from local productions to Broadway.
I love to scrapbook and pride myself in my kids’ albums.
I love being a mom but also love my career. I’m blessed to have found a balance allowing me to be at everything my kids need and want me to be at–while also having a career.
Favorite Quotes: Well behaved women rarely make history.
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. -James Bryant Conant
I’m so sorry you’re stuck in such a struggle. I remember how difficult it was for my parents when my father’s grandparents were ill, and they (like your Aunt) had appropriate documents. (Or at least most of them.)
It’s definitely important to get things down, even if you’re young and especially if you have kids.
I am sorry to hear about your aunt!
My husband and i just got all of our “death and dying” documents signed and notarized. EVERYONE needs to have a will, power of attorney, advanced directive and whatever else your state requires you to have in place should something happen to you and your spouse, partner or whomever you choose can represent your wishes. There are legal document websites that will let your print off the appropriate paperwork according to your state, for a fee of course but it is cheaper than going to a lawyer if you are strapped for cash. You just take the documents to your bank or wherever you have a notary and it’s all done.
Thank you for mentioning this, I believe there are so many young (and older) couples and single people who do not have these very important documents ready.
Last year my hubby and I purchased a plot in a cemetery. We looked around till we found the spot we liked best. It is fully paid for. We plan to pre arrange most of our funeral and final costs. We aren’t even 50 yet but I definitely would rather do it now instead of leaving it for my children to do.
I recently posted about the amazing deal(!) we got when we had our wills and powers of attorney drawn up: http://preservingpennies.com/having-our-wills-drawn-up-on-the-cheap/ I am so glad to have this stuff looked after! I sleep (travel long distances…) much better at night.