by Claire
The $200 each–total of $400–per week breaks down like this:
$100-$125 in groceries. We have 3 boys…12, 13 and 17…and a 7 year old girl…and the two of us…who all like milk! Milk alone is $20-$25 per week of that budget. We eat meals at home with restaurant visits a rarity…but keep in mind that these boys just eat A LOT! Leftovers don’t exist in our house. Great news is they all love ramen and we’ve been stocking up on those at 28 cents each! And I’m finding new and improved ways to cut on the grocery budget each and every week. I do not do coupons and am nowhere near wanting to do coupons.
$120 in gas. The kids’ ages create a lot of running around although we have also reduced this and consolidated a lot of trips in recent weeks to tackle the gas expense. Not that we have noticed any relief with gas prices steadily increasing.
$25/week for a math tutor for one of the kids.
The remaining $130-155 ($65 – $77 each) is used on everything and anything else that may present itself–for example, haircuts, co-pays for medical visits, school fees (pictures, parties, field trip fees), activity fees, birthday gifts for friends’ parties, clothing needs, medication co pays, tutoring @ $25/week, dog food, vet visits when needed…
Say we find a groupon that is indeed a good deal for us (not just b/c it’s cool and a bargain) it comes out of this money too…that might be the closest we do to mindless spending but if we don’t have the cash we don’t get it. That’s a change.
So, some weeks are better than others depending on what hits. I can’t say we do “mindless spending.” I think the last “mindless” item I bought was a yoga dvd on clearance for $7…and I’m using it! Like I said, the goal is to have $ left over. The reality is life brings $5 and $10 needs on a regular basis for ONE kid, let alone 4.
Please let me hear your tips! I obviously have lots of learning to do!
Born and raised in Texas. I’ve at least driven through every state in the US courtesy of a roadtrip loving Dad.
I’m single with two children and a good parenting relationship with their father.
I am a “life is just half full of funny” kinda gal. Humor is my saving grace and I am thankful for it every single day. I have a strong Catholic faith and am thankful for that foundation.
I read a lot for a living but still enjoy a good book. I love biographies but in recent years have found the need for fun fictional books–sadly, for a long time I just didn’t enjoy fiction!
I love live theatre of any kind–from local productions to Broadway.
I love to scrapbook and pride myself in my kids’ albums.
I love being a mom but also love my career. I’m blessed to have found a balance allowing me to be at everything my kids need and want me to be at–while also having a career.
Favorite Quotes: Well behaved women rarely make history.
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. -James Bryant Conant
We set up a separate account for many of the things you mention in the “remaining” sentence and budget a certain amount of money each month for those things. The money builds up if it’s not used so we have the funds available for the month that has a wedding, two kids’ birthdays and a graduation in the same month! The account is also where we put a monthly amount for the insurance that’s due every six months and the home warranty, septic tank cleaner, and furnace maintenance that’s done annually. Dave Ramsey has a name for this type of account but I can’t remember it. We call it the Freedom Account – the freedom NOT to have to charge these things!
You might want to avoid the ramen. That stuff is loaded with sodium. There are other things with less salt that won’t kill your food budget.
Thankfully the low sodium ramen is readily available at our grocer. 🙂 It can be hard to find but we’re lucky.
Claire, check out this recipe for a way to use those ramen noodles, which doesn’t even use the seasoning packets. http://theprudenthomemaker.com/index.php/stir-fry
She’s got some great recipes and considering that her husband is in real estate in Las Vegas, she know how to pinch a penny until it screams and gives change back!
A few years ago I opened up an account just for the boys’ expenses. School fees, hair cuts, school supplies, extra curricular and group fees. It helps to know that there is money there as these expenses come up.
Have you considered cutting your milk budget? That’s a lot of milk to be drinking (here that amount would buy you about 5-6 gallons a week). While people need calcium, water is free and good for you too. Even if you’re eating low sodium ramen, it’s still pretty high in sodium. Based on what you posted, it doesn’t seem like a well balanced diet. You can make fairly healthy meals on the cheap—I did it while I was in college on like $30/wk.
I hope my comment doesn’t come across as judgmental, but that amount of milk and ramen could have a negative impact on everyone’s health for long after you’re out of debt.
Actually, if they are each having three cups a day (the recommended amount of dairy for an average adult) then 5-6 gallons is not unreasonable for them to be going through.
Another frugal friend finds milk that is near the expiration date and has negotiated with the grocery store manager (a good person to become friends with if you want in on the best deals) and they get their milk for 99 Cents/gallon on the day before it expires and then freeze it. Worth a try.
Thanks for the breakdown. Makes more sense to me now. I know it’s easy for things to pop up, especially when you’ve got kids. More so when you’ve got four boys! Oh my. God bless you. 🙂
From what I read, your financial situation is completely out of control. You need a budget and you need it right now. I’m not a huge Dave Ramsey fan, but for someone that does not have the knowledge or control of recurring expenses that you are currently lacking, a budget is imperative.
$1,600 a month is WAY too much to be spending on the items you listed. In your shoes, I would sit down with the hubby and put together a budget where every dollar gets a name and a job. Your money and your spending is not under YOUR control at this point. You and hubby should agree to NO spending outside the budget. The budgeting process will help you understand and get control of your money and your spending.
If you do not have an emergency fund set up, that should be done ASAP. With four kids, it may need to be more than the $1,000, although with newer cars, you can probably avoid saving anything for car repairs.
You appear to be living way beyond your means. Some of the expenditures on things like activities and gifts will have to be cut to get to where you need to be. Get the family together and tell them you are going to make a budget, the family is going to live by the budget, and as a family you will make sacrifices to pay off the debt and save for the future.
Congratulations for facing your debt head on!
And thank you for letting us follow you along the way.
Everyone has their way that works for their household – so please don’t let some of the strong opinions – get you down. They haven’t walked in your shoes…. it might take you a month or two to find your family’s sweet spot.
For me personally, I sit down once a week and track every cent in a little book. Once a month, I tally it up and enter it into a little spreadsheet. I have auto-transfers into various ‘just in case’ saving accounts for larger dog costs, home costs, etc – the last trip to pet emerg, I could cash flow it from my monthly income – but it sure was nice knowing that the extra was there if the $ amount was higher.
Cash flows through my fingers like water. So, I only let myself have one twenty dollar bill a week. I can spend it as I like – but when it is gone it is gone. At the end of some weeks – I still have 20. At the end of others, I will have had no cash for 6 days.
Good luck on your journey!
I hear you on the sports avoidance! I once faked a sprained ankle during a race at track and field day when I was a kid so I wouldn’t have to finish it 🙂
It will feel so good when you pay off and cut up that first credit card. And then the second…and the third….
So, as far as things that have worked for us: I second the water thing. Definitely drink tap water instead of milk, and we rarely order drinks if we’re at a restaurant, just tap water.
Second, I see your oldest is 17. How does he feel about contributing to the budget, at least covering his own expenses like gifts and school supplies/fees? 17 seems plenty old to be taking care of his own stuff.
Can you guys get by with one car? We live in Toronto and are fortunate enough to be car-free, but I realise that that’s not a possibility for a lot of people.
Also, the food thing is tricky with kids. We had a similar instant-noodle habit recently, until I realised that my seven-year old was raiding the fridge after lunch ’cause she was still hungry! I was paying for two lunches! I did a little reading and learned that in order to get that feeling of fullness you need fat 🙂 but mostly protein. So, beans, hummus, peanut butter, etc. etc.
There’s a really lovely blog that I read: Gail Vax-Oxlade’s blog. She’s no-nonsense and practical and inspiring, and we’ve just started to do her cash-in-jars method ’cause I need to trim back some more….
Sorry for the freak-ish long comment – it’s just that you’re brave putting it all out there and I want to help!
Good luck!
Marnie
Ditto to the notion that your spending is out of control and you need a real plan and a real budget. You also need to cut enough and sacrifice enough that you actually feel it so you can make bit inroads into your debt.
Also, don’t use spending less as an excuse to feed your growing children unhealthy, processed foods. Healthy eating can be dirt cheap. And making healthy meals can be almost as fast as microwaving processed foods. Go to the bulk foods section of a health store and spend pennies on healthy basics like dried beans, lentils, brown rice, quinoa, etc. Then stock up on in-season, on-sale fruits and vegetables, which are also incredibly cheap when bought that way. Tofu and on-sale meats are also cheap (though I recommend limiting the meat for health and frugality). Combine these things in endless cheap and fast ways. You can make stir-fry on a a healthy whole grain. Giant pots of soups and stews using the above ingredients. black beans with toppings in tortillas or on rice. Endless things that are very cheap, quick to make, and not processed or empty calories.
When you buy processed foods, you’re paying extra for the packaging, marketing and branding. When you buy healthy, basic, whole foods that are in season and on sale (when possible), you’ll save money and be healthier.
As others have mentioned, the milk habit is insane. Just because your family has done something a certain way doesn’t mean it needs to continue. Switch at least half of that volume to water (from the tap or a Brita pitcher) and you’ll save a lot of money and be healthier. And you’ll still be getting more than enough milk.
Figure out how to cut every other expense in any way possible. Pretend you have to pay off debt like the house is on fire, and you’ll actually make real changes. Get creative. Maybe you or your husband can become the math tutor. Maybe you can trade free tutoring for a service you provide for the person doing the tutoring. Maybe some of the kids’ activities fees need to be cut. Maybe the teenage kids need jobs to pay for their own fees – plus jobs will teach them valuable life lessons and get their resumes stated. Get creative.
I couldn’t agree more!
Oh dear- I hope you don’t get scared off by all of the suggestions here. 🙂 I think comments are the hardest part of blogging especially since it’s so hard to convey tone in a written statement. Canada has a finance guru, Gail Vaz-Oxlade (her show airs in the States too), who has a budgeting method involving jars that you might be interested in. Her site is http://www.debtfreeforever.ca/index.html and many people find her ‘jar’ method to be very effective. It might help if you are looking to cut back further. Kudos to you for putting it all out there- it’s so hard to ‘fess up about money!
My hubby also drinks lots of milk, but making iced tea has cut that back a lot – it’s cheaper. Can your kids bike to some of those places? Do you drive them to school or is there a schoolbus?
Out of curiosity, I do not see anything for rent or mortgage, electricity, garbage, trash, heat…..you know any of the typical bills!
I as actually suprised at how little a month you make compared to your debt load. Yes it is way of control but you know what?
That is why you are here now and blogging about it because you are wanting to gain control of it! That takes courage!
YOU CAN DO THIS!
I can say this, it seems with just some of the information you have given,,,,,,,, you have lots of room for change and lots of options for changing a few things to make a big difference!
Do you do your grocery shopping at “big Box” stores? It’s just my hubby and me, so we do fine with our budget at the regular store, but with the amount of hungry mouths you have, you might check into one–maybe a friend has a membership and could take you along? They often have reduced price gas as well.
And, do the older kids have part time or intermittent jobs–babysitting, yard work, etc? I can’t tell what sorts of expenses pop up for them and whether you feel like parents should pay for them, but you could consider having them pay part of the costs.
Ditto on the big box suggestion, unless you are already using them. But $25 a week on milk would be about 10 gallons via Costco. And that is wayyyy too much milk to be drinking and spending. I think you need to push back and look at water as your primary beverage. It is much cheaper, super healthy and available everywhere. My kids love water, I make sure there is a pitcher in the fridge a it tastes best super cold.
I also think that $400 a week is pretty high. As a family of 5, we spend about $250 a week and that includes a weekly house cleaner (yes, total luxury).
It might be time to really get tough. Plan every meal out. That might mean that EVERY breakfast is oatmeal (cheap, nutritious, filling, easy to make) with a splash of milk and a sprinkle of fruit/nuts or brown sugar. Everyone should be brown bagging (and again – not deli meat sandwiches, but perhaps peanut butter on homemade bread or tortilla with a piece of fruit or sliced veggies or left overs from dinner the night before). I know you have growing children and healthy meals are necessary but ramen is not healthy and with 4 children – not very cheap. Make a huge pot of veggie soup (and use all those veggies on sale from the grocery) to have a healthy and filling snack available instead of ramen. A bit of rice or barley in the soup will make it even more filling. Will this be a bit boring? Yes, but if reducing debt is the priority, boring is going to be expected.
It might also be time to get tough about how often and where the children will be squired about. It isn’t clear how much money is being spent on gas, presents for parties and school activities, but it might be time to seriously look at cutting back there. Maybe each child gets to do 1 activity, and it can’t cost more than $25 total (church youth group, or a school based after school activity might fit that). Have them help arrange a car pool with other families doing the same activity.
You are 100K in debt. You need to commit to really reducing your obligations and your fixed expenses.
A Costco membership would definitely help in your situation, but you have to be disciplined about what you buy in there. Milk is $5.49 for two gallons, regular (non organic) eggs about 10c each, a huge bag of bananas $1.39.
I can highly recommend Amy Daczycyn’s book the Tightwad Gazette for plenty of ideas on cutting regular household and grocery expenses.
You might want to reconsider the idea of couponing. I have a lot in common with you and never thought I’d be a couponer either. But after watching a woman leave the supermarket with two full carts and only paying $5 I decided to see what it is all about. If you treat it like a game, it can be incredibly fun and you will see amazing savings. You will never pay for toothpaste again and you will pay pennies instead of dollars for laundry detergent. I can point you in the direction to get started if you’re interested in giving it a try.
There is certainly room for improvement (there always is), but I don’t necessarily agree with the sentiment of the other comments.
I think you are doing GREAT on your grocery budget. For reference, we feed our family of four on $500/month and the feedback I usually get is that is insane dirt cheap. We eat very well, too. {Could be a regional bias too – so you have to take non-regional comments with a grain of salt. Some prices will vary}. Of course, we include pets and all grocery store type spending in that; not just the food.
Why so much gas? The gas strikes me a A LOT so something to consider. Could be you have long commutes and less fuel efficient vehicles with a bigger family to haul around. But something to focus on – how you can cut those costs.
The rest I am sure you could cut down – but what helps is to focus on one thing at a time. You aren’t going to wake up tomorrow with the perfect budget. Just remember, one change at a time. Small changes do really add up.
& APPRECIATE the comments today. Honestly, I always felt this blog was kind of enabling. Not a lot of constructive criticism? I now see maybe that just came with really getting to know the blogger and feeling comfortable and getting used to their situation. I don’t recognize this blog today – but I think it’s a good thing. Take the advice to heart because the longer you stick around the less constructive criticism you will probably get.
Can someone help me out with the milk comments because I don’t quite understand them. Milk in my area is about $3.25 to $3.50 a gallon, depending on the store and type (skim, 1%, etc.) I don’t know where Claire lives, so I’ll go with $3/gallon. If Claire buys 7 gallons a week, that’s $21. I’ll allocate one gallon for cooking and the kids’ friends (and yes, they do sometimes drink milk when they are visiting), leaving one gallon for each family member. That’s 16 servings at 8 ounces each, which gives them each 2.25 cups per day. Is that really so out of control??? Personally, I don’t think so, especially when it adds nutrients such as calcium and Vitamin D. If it were soda, I could understand the comments, but I think that’s pretty rational for milk.
As far as the budget goes, you need to keep track of your money for a few months before you can really figure out where the “incidentals” money is going. It’s easy to know the mortgage/rent, car loan, utility, etc., bills, but the incidentals – those need to be tracked some. Besides, Claire might have a budget that she hasn’t revealed yet – she knows she has $400/week after all.
Milk is TERRIBLE for you. It contains shocking amounts of
– hormones (which are used to force cows to produce milk for years at a time, instead of until their calves are weaned -their calves, by the way, were killed for veal if they were male)
– pus/blood (because most milk cows are hooked up to machine milkers which cause infected sores on their udders)
– antibiotics (to treat the cows’ infected udders)
Also, because animal protein leaches calcium from your bones, cow’s milk actually drains more calcium from your body than it contains/replaces. This is why societies that don’t drink milk have significantly lower incidences of osteoporosis than the US. There is a reason that all other mammals stop drinking milk at the age of weaning. We are also the only species that regularly consumes the milk of another species. Milk is designed to get a baby cow to gain 500+ pounds before it is weaned, and we wonder why the countries that drink so much milk have such a high instance of obesity?
Better sources of calcium are spinach, collards, kale, Swiss chard, lettuces, mustard and turnip greens, broccoli, soy products, quinoa, wheat, and brown rice.
Darn, wonder how I made it this far drinking milk! We’ll just have to disagree on this, although we do drink organic milk to avoid the hormones.
P.S. Sorry, I didn’t see the soy products mentioned until I hit enter. You know there’s a school of thought that eating soy is bad for you, too, especially more than a couple times a week? Are they correct – who knows? I do know I like milk, drink it regularly, and have no signs of bone weakening from my baseline bone scan despite being post-menopausal.
Everyone’s body is different. There are obviously tons of people who are intolerant to soy, gluten, etc., just as there are many people who drink milk without a problem. I only went on this tangent because she’s feeding her children milk, and I’m guessing based on her other numbers that she’s not buying organic. I think deciding for yourself that the benefits outweigh the risks is one thing, deliberately feeding your children something that is arguably poisonous is another.
While I don’t drink milk because it makes me sick, I can eat some dairy products, and do, on occasion. But that’s because I’m an adult and understand what I’m getting into. I wouldn’t feed my children that.
Milk here is $4.99 / 4 liters! I would love to have cheap milk! I think much of food expenses is where you live. Hubby and I were saying we didn’t know how a family here would serve enough milk to their growing family if they had several children. So you have to keep close track and see where you can cut back, and not where the next guy can cut back. tracking what you spend daily, weekly and monthly you can see what you need, verses what is just wants. Also this needs to be a family project not just Mom’s work.
Yes Pat! We are working on making this a family project. They already notice differences and are all being great about it. That is my hope–that our mistakes (when openly shared) can be a “What not to do” lesson for them!
Wow – I’m impressed with how SMALL your weekly grocery bill is! Seriously! With three teenaged/growing boys I’m surprised it isn’t more!
As far as ramen goes – yes, it is unhealthy, but there are healthy kinds of ramen out there. Also, I rarely make ramen using the seasoning packets. Instead, I cook it up like pasta and mix in butter and garlic powder, or I’ll saute it in a bit of sesame oil and szechuan sauce. Yummy!
Do you live near any Asian/Latino markets? Sometimes the thnic store sell produce and other items cheaper than the mainstream stores, and you could probably find healthier Asian noodles that are just as cheap as ramen.
Finally, do you have a slow cooker? You could probably make some really healthy but affordable meals with a slow cooker. Just toss veggies, seasonings, and some broth in and let it go for a day and you have tasty veggie soup! Yesterday I made some BBQ lentils – lentils, water, BBQ sauce, and sliced hot dogs. Yummy and full of protetin and fiber.
[Oh, and I LOVE milk, and I’m still healthy 😉 ]
Thanks Jen! I am a BIG slow cooker fan! At least 2 meals a week involve the crockpot. I’ll be posting soon about what grocery management tips I am using. I’ve always been a menu maker and I have found some great free websites that make the grocery list for me–huge time saver and time is almost as scarce as money! Yes, I also picked up that don’t use the ramen packet tip and the kids are on board. The youngest–our only girl–will eat the noodles with NO seasoning (ack!) but she likes it. I almost posted in reply to some of those food comments “no, the children are not living on ramen and milk” but my husband reminded me that it is not necessary to reply to everything! 🙂 I need to check out the Asian/Latino market option as I bet I have many around me and don’t even know it. Thanks again.
Claire, I’m also amazed at how cheaply you are already feeding your family of 6. Milk around where I live is around $4.50 a gallon. 4 Gallons of milk for 6 people in a week is already very conservative if you ask me.
Suggestion about the tutoring cost…do you live near a college? If so, there are many programs that help with tutoring. If not, contact your local high school. If they have a National Honor Society, they should be able to help as well. When I was in high school I tutored a few kids a week because their parents contacted the school, which they then contacted the teacher advisor to NHS who asked if I wanted to tutor. Just an idea.
Ooooh I like this! Thanks Kim! I’m putting it down on the “to do” list now!
Also if you are going to drink milk or juice, be aware that light destroys vitamins. Milk and orange juice in translucent containers do not contain the nutritional content stated on the package, as many of the B vitamins and also vitamin A are light-sensitive.
Hi Claire,
I too was a bit surprised that you can feed so many on only $125 per week. Maybe it is a regional thing – in the NW it would be more difficult. I raised boys as well and it is astonishing how much they can eat…a half an hour before dinner and still polish off dinner! Ramen works – I used to save the vegetable stock from steamed veggies in ice cube trays so they could add one or two to their ramen. That way they were getting some nutrients. More of a nutritional idea than a money saving idea.
I think you have done a great job with the first goal you set for yourself – plug the holes and learn where your money is going. Well done!
Try to remember that lasting changes come slowly. One step at a time – you will get there!
Thank you Susan! The amount of food the boys eat is alarming in many ways! I have always been a menu planner and that has paid dividends already. I know I can tighten it up in places but when the kids eat everything and there isn’t any waste…it is difficult to tell them to cut back! They’re kids!! My husband and I have cut back dramatically on our own eating out “date nights” and that’s where the cuts should come from…not from the kids when they’re eating reasonable amounts of food and don’t have any food related health issues. Well, two of them are allergic to peanuts but what I mean is we aren’t talking about kids battling weight issues. Thanks again! 🙂
You mentioned eating out date nights in your last comment. That isn’t mentioned in your food budget.
Since you’re working to get out of debt, how about cutting out all eating out until you are out of debt? That alone will take you leaps and bounds closer to being out of debt. All of that money can go towards your debt.
Ramen sounds fairly pricey where you live. The cheapest foods are rice, potatoes, and beans (bought in bulk).
I feed my family of 8 for $100 or less a month (US). Please come visit my site and get some ideas for lower cost meals.
You didn’t mention tolietries in these expenses. That is one area that can be cut drastically as well.
Stop paying for haircuts. We cut everyone’s hair at home. The cost of a price of clippers and a good pair of scissors will more than pay for itself in the first month, and then you won’t have that expense any more.
At our house, birthday gifts for the children, and for the their friends, are homemade, using items we have on hand.
Snack for your boys: Buy popcorn in bulk (a 50 lb bag is what we buy) and pop in on a stove-top popper. Bake 10 pounds of potatoes at a time and let them have baked potatoes for snacks. If you want a protein on top, make up a batch of bean chili for them to put on it. (Potatoes are not just carbs; they have 3 grams of protein each, and 45% of your daily vitamin C, and 18% of your daily potassium).
Beans in bulks, beans and rice, stir fry on rice, bean soups, vegetable soups, etc. will give you healthy meals that are delicious and filling.
Brandy,
I just visited your website. After an initial very minor panic attack (kidding of course…but yours is a whole new world to me!) I really loved what I found! Genius ideas! I’ve decided to challenge myself to make my own laundry detergent. If I have to choose b/w keeping track of coupons and sales to buy laundry detergent as frequently as I need it and buying the ingredients you list much less frequently, I pick option 2. So, since I’m totally a rookie I have a question about what “washing soda.” Is that the Arm & Hammer washing soda on the laundry detergent aisle?
My family DOES have a system on laundry and it is similar to what you describe yours to be. The kids fully participate in this chore and I too believe in the daily washing instead of dealing with “Mount Washmore” on the weekend. So, if I add making our own laundry detergent to this plan I can get a much needed sense of accomplishment! Thank you for sharing and I’ll be checking in on your website frequently.
Yes on the washing soda. Borax is in the same aisle.
And you will find this to be even cheaper than using coupons on laundry soap.
I’m addicted to personal finance blogs, however many are hard to relate because of my age. I’m only 25, no kids, and freshly married. I can throw a heck of a lot of extra money every month at debt because we really don’t have many bills. I eat extremely frugal meals (oatmeal breakfast, noodles lunch), don’t have cable, no smartphone, no real luxeries though we do own a house.
I can’t imagine trying to pay off debt with that many mouths to feed! More power to you, stick to it!