by Beks
It’s time for the monthly Bump Update…
March 3rd:
Sonogram pics could not be any clearer – it’s a boy. Since discovering this information, I find I am far less gentle with my food choices. When I thought it was a girl, I ate fruits and veggies. Baby boy now gets fruits and veggies… and spicy jalapeño burgers. It’s a boy. He can take it like a man.
March 4th:
I inform baby boy that waking hours are between 6:00 a.m. and 9:00 p.m., NOT 9:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. Baby spends the next 24 hours kicking incessantly proving his complete control of the situation.
March 7th:
My husband said I’m the least emotional pregnant person he’s ever met… after I tackled him to the floor, choked him until he couldn’t breathe, and demanded he say it.
March 10th:
I thought by my having a baby, mom would finally stop asking me to have one – and she did.
Now she just asks when I’m planning to have another.
March 15th:
Thought about writing a press release:
Dear mothers (and you know which ones you are): You are not in a competition for the gold metal in the world’s most difficult pregnancy. I’m sorry your pregnancy/delivery/husband was awful. Mine, thus far, has been pretty awesome and I’d like to stay in my dream world that the rest will be the same. Don’t feel the need to share the same stories over… and over… and over again. I didn’t want to hear it the first time.
March 19th:
The week before every doctor’s appointment, I bump up my usual workout routine by walking a little further or exercising a little longer each day. Every time I see the nurse with her clipboard standing near the scale, I feel like I’m weighing in for The Biggest Loser… in reverse.
March 24th:
Concerned that, at nearly 6 months, I still don’t need maternity clothes. Is this baby even growing?
March 25th:
Suddenly need maternity clothes. Belly popped like a turkey timer.
