:::: MENU ::::

Drawing the line…

by

I knew my employer was going to struggle a little when I left for maternity leave. I lined up two temp workers and trained both to cover my workload with as few hiccups as possible. What I didn’t expect?

Numerous phone calls, a dozen or so text messages, and several e-mails…

all in the first three days.

If you’ve ever been a new parent, you’d know it’s difficult enough to remember your name in the first three days. Helping out at work via satellite (unpaid of course) is more than annoying.

I didn’t answer at first, assuming they’d get the hint I was busy with the whole ‘newborn child’ thing, but the number of calls simply escalated.

I’m torn between my obligations as a good employee and my responsibility at home. In my sleep deprived thinking, I felt the need to keep my steady paycheck and was willing to lose on more sleep until…

I went to my first pediatric appointment and couldn’t remember my zip code (of the home I’ve lived in for 4 years) and didn’t feel strong enough to carry my newborn from the overwhelming fatigue.

I e-mailed my employer and told him not to contact me again unless the building was on fire.

It was perhaps the WORST thing to write in my tired state but, I haven’t heard a peep other than ‘We appreciate your help. Give our love to the baby.’

I think they got the hint.

Hopefully, I still have a job in a few months.

(Please forgive any spelling/grammatical errors over the next few weeks. I’m running on zero sleep!)

Bump Update…

by

Here is June’s baby bump update. If you aren’t interested, sorry. Skip this and resume reading tomorrow.

June 1st:

Of course. Our mayor declares the first ever ‘Craft Beer Month’ for San Diego and tells citizens it’s their civic duty to drink local craft beers.

He couldn’t have done this any other time over the last ten years I’ve been of legal age?!? He decided to do it THIS year?!?

June 3rd:

I miss the days when the time lapse between bathroom stops was longer than 8 minutes.

June 10th:

I read in my baby book today that pregnant women should gain very little weight at the end of their pregnancy. In fact, some women may lose weight.

My body did NOT get that memo.

June 13th:

My husband and I attended a Breastfeeding class at the hospital. The teacher mentioned that breastfeeding serves as a fairly good method of birth control. My husband leaned over and whispered, ‘I really want our kids to be close in age. I wish she’d address options about working around the birth control part. I was hoping you’d be pregnant again by October’.

‘EXCUSE ME?!?!’ I said loudly.

The class spun to look at me.

‘December?’ he whispered, genuinely confused at my shock.

I waved a quick ‘I’m sorry but I want to smack my husband’ hand at the teacher and she moved on, seeming to understand.

In the notes section of my booklet, I wrote, ‘NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO and HELL NO’ and drew a smiley face.

June 14th:

Judging by the fetal body slams to my abdomen I suffered during the entire appointment… my kid likes my dentist about as much as I do.

June 16th:

When getting out of the shower at 4:30 a.m., I noticed a trail of blood down my legs. Panicking, I woke up my husband. ‘Honey, there’s something wrong with the baby!!! We need to go to the ER now!!’ I sobbed. He slowly ambled out of bed, rubbed the sleep from his eyes, stared at my legs and then said, ‘You cut yourself shaving’ as he pointed at my thigh. He stumbled back into bed and quickly back to sleep.

‘It’s not my fault I can’t see past this belly!!’ I yelled.

June 23rd:

After four long baby classes in one week, my husband said I owed it to him to watch the NBA draft together. I looked down at my belly and said, ‘I owe YOU?’

June 24th:

Stairs are the bane of my existence. Every time I reach the top, I sound like I just finished an Ironman race. Wouldn’t be a big deal, except there are lots of stairs at work. Having coworkers ask if you are out of breath from a quick walk around the block is embarrassing when you have to say no and turn around to point at the three stair climb as the culprit.

June 27th:

I noticed today that I haven’t heard anyone say, ‘You are so tiny’ for a really long time. Third trimester is lame.

June 30th:

I packed my bag for the hospital. No. I wasn’t in labor. I was simply dropping not so subtle hints to the occupant in my uterus.


36 weeks