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A week of (mostly) not spending money

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As I mentioned last week, I had some financial slip ups towards the end of October. So, I took corrective action in the form of financial purgatory. What did I do?

Lived out of my pantry

I have a veeeeeery well-stocked fridge and pantry for a childless, unmarried millennial. I love cooking and entertaining, and I always have stocks of staples. Dried beans, rice, pasta. Canned veggies, soups, seafood. Frozen meat, veg, seafood. I tend to buy a few of something good when it’s on sale, and most of my grocery shopping (as you know) is pretty frivolous. I’ve certainly cut way back on my bad habit of stopping for fancy impulse groceries on the way home from work, but haven’t entirely eliminated it.

I was in a good place when I realized I had spent all my spending money last week. I’m all set dog and cat food, as well as their supplies. My bills are all paid. I don’t drive much and I have gas in my car. My transit card was loaded. Phew!

I ended up making a huge batch of soup from freezer stuff. There was a turkey carcass in my chest freezer from (Canadian) Thanksgiving and I always save veggie trimmings and scraps for making stock. I made a very hearty chicken soup that I ate for many days, which was probably a good idea with the raging bronchitis.

I had flour and yeast, so I made a double batch of pizza dough. One ball of dough is in my freezer, and with the other one, I made a delicious veggie skillet pizza.

I was proud of this meal.  There was frozen broccoli, some tomatoes and peppers that were getting a bit soft, and cheese I had laying around in the fridge. Win! Skillet pizza is super easy and cheap. I served this with a simple arugula salad (the last of my fresh veg, alas).

That’s pretty much all I ate last week. I don’t mind leftovers one bit.

Hijacked my grandparents’ pantry

I helped my grandparents pack up this weekend, and I took three full car loads of things back to my house. The overwhelming majority of the stuff was food! They go to Costco and stock up like it’s Armageddon, and I ended up with flats of barbecue sauce, jam, and juice. I don’t really eat any of that sweet stuff, so I’ll be donating it to the food bank. In addition, I received steaks, a giant beef roast, lots of frozen fruit and veg, and a wide assortment of cheese. They can’t bring perishables on the truck (mind you, it’d be fine – we have ten inches of snow outside…), so I hit the jackpot.

Didn’t go to work

I’m very lucky that my work allows for me to work from home when necessary. I was sick, so I didn’t go to work last week and worked from home instead. That meant I didn’t have to pay parking at the subway ($4 per day) or transit to work ($6.20 per day). I also usually buy a coffee and a bagel once a week, which is only a few bucks, but adds up.

All in all, I spent $11 in seven days. If I continue not spending this week, I’ll be back on track with discretionary spending. And that’s a good thing, because I need to rent a ballgown for an awards evening for work next week. The evening won’t cost me anything more than the gown rental, luckily. I’ll be sure to get a picture to share with you from the event!

 

A Honest and Raw Look Back

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I would have celebrated my 17th wedding anniversary this past weekend. And I think I’ve finally gotten far enough away from it and healed enough and moved on to look back with a more honest and open assessment.

I’ve always said I lived my life with no regrets. I would take whatever came and accept it – good or bad. I’d say I learned from it and accept it as part of life. But no regrets.

But the reality is…I do have regrets. With some time to look back, and the guts to do so more honestly then I ever have…I do have regrets. And quite a few, and more than that. I am realizing that I have not always learned from them…

Big Financial Mistakes

I thought I would share some of them that have had some major financial affects on me…and maybe if someone else stumbles upon this blog, they won’t repeat them.

  1. Do not finance someone else’s car, even if they are your spouse. And especially when your marriage is rocky or abusive like mine was. Believe me, you can buy someone’s love or your own safety by putting their car in your name. You will just be left holding the bag when you finally get the guts to leave.
  2. Hire an attorney for any divorce. No matter how amicable or broke you may be or seem. Just do it. Hire an expert and lay everything out. Don’t be a smarty pants like I was and assume you can do it yourself for a measly $75. I mean, you can, and you will get divorced. But again, you will be screwed financially!
  3. Spoil your kids with love and your time and a combination of the two. They do not need stuff. They won’t remember stuff. And it won’t make them love you more. Or less if they don’t have the stuff. In fact, it will probably teach them to value things differently.
  4. Buy a car that works for you, whatever you needs may be. Newer if you are scared of cars breaking down. Older if you know how to maintain it yourself. Big enough for your family. But whatever you buy, stick to it. Pay it off, maintain it and just stick to it. So much better than the route I have taken in second guessing myself, getting out of the auto mess with my ex husband (see #1) and more. (Oh, and definitely keep full coverage insurance just in case you have a wreck that totals your car.)
  5. Take care of yourself. Not just your health, but definitely that too. But give yourself a break, learn to forgive yourself for your screw ups. Give yourself grace. Learn to rest and not run yourself ragged. (You definitely make worse decisions when you are stressed and tired.) Make sure to give yourself some “treat” money, even in the tightest times. I’m not saying go crazy, but even $5 for an ice cream or a pack of gum.

In conclusion, I think this is the first year since my marriage ended 13ish years ago that I have really looked back. Allowed regret to wash over me. Really took some responsibility for my bad, really terrible decisions. And I’m still in the middle of it, the angst and awakening. I can’t go backwards, I can’t fix my royal screw ups.

But I am now in the place where I can own them. Rather, I will own them. And face tomorrow and each day a little strong, a little wiser. Hopefully others can learn from my mistakes. I am not going to wallow in the shame they cause me, but I am going to do better.