I truly appreciate the thought out comments on my last post (The Next Step.) I have read every single one of them. But frankly, this time, the “doormat” “enabling” etc. comments just tore at me. I realize that I signed up for this but more importantly, I realize that it’s a lot easier to stand on the sidelines and yell direction then it is to actually be in the middle of it where the action is actually happening. I wonder if some of you realize that…
I have contemplated not returning, but I’ve never been one to shy from a fight, so after a couple of weeks of licking my wounds. I am back.
So to follow up on that last post…
1. I am not doing anything illegal nor am I committing insurance fraud. The car has sat with occasional driving when I needed it or when he would visit the kids. He has another car with one seat in it he uses on a daily basis.
2. While it may be in my name, etc. it is HIS car and HIS debt. That is spelled out clearly in our divorce decree and I do not think it would be right to discuss HIS debt here. Thus, no numbers were mentioned in that post. I just wanted to get your feedback on that being the next course of action. From the responses, I would say everyone overwhelmingly agreed with my desire to rid my name of that debt although many differed on how it should be done.
3. Hiring a lawyer to do this, that or the other. No offense to the lawyers who may be reading this, but are you crazy? Have you gone through a divorce where there are kids and property? Well, I see/hear about it EVERY day from other of my single mom acquaintances…$20K and counting in legal fees, , chasing and waiting for child support, limited child support based on his income and it never stops until the kids reach 18. I paid $75 and did my own divorce paperwork. I got exactly what I wanted…full legal and physical custody of the kids. He got the car to finish paying off. I also got a relationship with him where I could say “the kids need” and he was willing to work with me on money without feeling like I was coming after him. And I don’t have to go back to court every time things change or chase him down for child support via more court appointments. I have seen the results of that many times over and do not want it for me, my kids or even him. Sorry if you don’t agree, but I KNOW this was the right decision.
4. You like reading Ashley…great! I like reading Ashley too. Life was definitely much more simple when I had two little kids and a husband helping pay the bills, and had a corporate job. But that’s not my life anymore and frankly, despite the hardships of the last years I LOVE my life. I love spending every day with kids, seeing them evolve and grow with every new experience and “lightbulb” learning experience. I love my clients and the flexibility I have to work when and where I want and do work that challenges me. The absolute only thing I am missing these days from life is having a couple more bedrooms…but you know what, that will come.
I have read Blogging Away Debt since the very beginning. I would check back daily for new posts and was sad when there were days or weeks between them. But I was most interested in reading about the different bloggers life – challenges, successes and yes, sometimes even failures. It inspired me. So that’s how I write. While the blog updates with charts and numbers are great, they are not my style. If you don’t like it…that’s okay, there are two other bloggers. I can’t/won’t be everyone’s style. But I would like to share a quote my parents taught me growing up “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything” and always “Silence is golden.”
More to come this afternoon…