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Browsing posts in: About Me

Changing my story

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This is the first book I picked up for my me time. And it got right to the heart of the matter. I’ve had trouble putting it down.

Two things have stood out during my first several chapters that I thought were worth sharing. Specifically from the personal finance perspective.

Stop picking at the scab (Chapter 4)

We all fall down. We all fail. And for some of us, raises my hand, we do it ALOT. But if we keep revisiting the same fall and failures, how do we heal and how do we recover. Telling the same story over and over again keeps you in that headspace, just continues the victim mentality.

So yes, the story of our falls and failures are something to share. It’s a way to connect with others and communicate that they are not alone. But these are also experiences we need to leave in the past, learn from them and move past. Don’t stay stuck. I am very, very guilty of staying stuck. And thus repeating mistakes. Especially on the personal finance front.

Sidenote: the Bible often refers to God’s forgive and forgetfulness of our sins. I found the author’s perspective on that really interesting.

Do you want to heal

This is a Bible / faith based book, so most of the stories refer to Biblical examples. This example just hit home.

Jesus was known for healing people. In John 5:6 he asks a cripple, “do you want to get well?”

I never thought about that question before. We all dream of being rich or the if only scenarios that we believe we solve all our problems. If I had a better job, all my stress would go away. If I made more money, these headaches would go away. You get what I’m saying.

But how often do we want to be “healed” but don’t consider all that that healing will cost. For the cripple, he would have to stop begging, get a job and learn to be a productive member of society rather than laying around by these “springs” all day. He would lose the sympathy that being a cripple provoked in others.

What does our “healing” cost? What do we have to give up to be healed?

Do you see where I’m going here…a few years ago, I got one of those “healings” and got a great new corporate job with all the benefits, good salary, stability, etc. All the things I thought I wanted, that I thought would solve my problems and heartaches and headaches.

And don’t get me wrong, for the most part, it did “heal” me. But on the flip side, I had to give up my freedom. I learn to deal (not very well) with a super charge political climate that I had no experience with and no stomach for.

As you consider what will “heal” you, also consider the cost, the trade, and in the end is it worth it?

 

Time for a new budget – Almost empty nest version

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I feel like I’m beating a horse to death with all these “life” change posts, but it is my reality. And while we, as a family, have certainly experience lots of lifestyle changes over the last decade-ish as a result of moves, job loss, adding new kids to the family and so on, this one is so different. What does this first phase of almost empty nest look like for me? And what does my budget look like going forward? (I found my last posted budget here.)

The kids

Their growth and leaving the nest is the reason it is becoming empty to it makes sense to start with a brief update on them.

  • Sea Cadet – Now a full time EMT and firefighter for a local county, he continues to pursue different certifications that increase his pay and he is now wholly financially independent. And after 3 years experience, has just gotten a pretty decent raise.
  • History Buff – After a year of floundering, he is working at a factory doing a more technical job around electrical components (think transformers.) He is catching up financially and returning to school to pursue a network specialist certification with the ultimate goal of going into cyber security. He is also wholly financially independent, although he typically hits me up to make a meal for him to take to work almost every day. But I love that and I love seeing him and checking in every day. He also supports his one cat, well, he and Sea Cadet.
  • Beauty – She has changed jobs a couple of times this past year, moved into a income based apartment with a high school friend, and tried a couple of different school programs. She just bought a new car, don’t ask. But does plan to return to school and finish her cosmetology license this spring, thus the need for a car. (Her last one died about 6 months ago.) She is wholly financially independent with the exception of her cell phone which I will continue to cover until she finishes her schooling or quits. She also supports her two cats. (For those that are new, Beauty moved in with us when she was 16. There is no formal adoption agreement, etc. but she is part of the family. She does still have ties and some support from her biological family. There is some difference in how she is treated financially. It is something we have discussed.)
  • Princess – She is finishing up her 1st semester of her sophomore year. This year she became financially responsible for her school costs, living expenses (rent, utilities and groceries,) and any repairs to her car. I continue to cover regular maintenance of her car (oil change and tire rotations,) car insurance, dog food (she took her 15 year old chihuahua to live with her when she moved into her apartment this year), and cell phone bill. She works as much as she can at a large financial institution and has recently been accepted into the investment club at her college.
  • Gymnast – This week he will complete his high school requirements. He has been working at the same restaurant as a server since this summer. His plan is to work a couple of jobs for the next 7 months and then move to Texas once he turns 18. He is financially dependent on me. Like his siblings before with his plan, he is saving money to move out and start life. The only caveat to my support is that I only cover one tank of gas a week and provide no spending money. Otherwise, I continue to cover all his living expenses for the time being. (Since he currently has no plans to attend any post high school schooling, I haven’t determined when my support will end. Although, it will be greatly reduced when he moves out. The kids have always been told that my financial support ended when school ended.)

My dad was recently in town for his brother’s funeral. We enjoyed a very quick visit. (Beauty, not pictured, left early feeling unwell.)

The nest

This leaves me at home, mostly alone, all the time. (Gymnast does still sleep and dress here, but rarely eats at home since his server job feeds him.) Okay, I shouldn’t say I am alone…I still have 6 dogs at home.

I mentioned in a recent post that I have decided to do a few things that will require some money. So I know it’s important I account for those in my budget. It’s time for me to look at that with a whole new eye. I have found that the hardest challenge for me has been food. (I know I’ve written on food alot over the years.) But this time it’s a different problem. I/we rarely go out anymore. More and more, I enjoy my time in the kitchen.

My problem is that going from cooking for 6+ to 1, well, that’s hard. And as a result, I always buy like the kids are all going to come for the meals. When the reality is, we maybe all get together once a month. I’ll have 1 or 2 around once-ish a week. But really it’s just me. (And I still don’t really like left overs so there’s alot of waste.)

Funny story. Last week, with the holidays coming up and anticipating my fiance moving here (this coming weekend that was supposed to happen), I stocked up on meat. Who knows how long it would have sat in my freezer. But then my dad and and Princess ended up coming into town. And the kids all made themselves available for some family time…and I was able to use my giant roast and family pack of cube steak and pork chops.

Ok, I’m rambling now. But my grocery bill is one place I really should cut back. And that’s going to take some thought.

What else should I consider or may be new when creating a budget for a mostly single person?