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Browsing posts in: About Me

Time for a new budget – Almost empty nest version

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I feel like I’m beating a horse to death with all these “life” change posts, but it is my reality. And while we, as a family, have certainly experience lots of lifestyle changes over the last decade-ish as a result of moves, job loss, adding new kids to the family and so on, this one is so different. What does this first phase of almost empty nest look like for me? And what does my budget look like going forward? (I found my last posted budget here.)

The kids

Their growth and leaving the nest is the reason it is becoming empty to it makes sense to start with a brief update on them.

  • Sea Cadet – Now a full time EMT and firefighter for a local county, he continues to pursue different certifications that increase his pay and he is now wholly financially independent. And after 3 years experience, has just gotten a pretty decent raise.
  • History Buff – After a year of floundering, he is working at a factory doing a more technical job around electrical components (think transformers.) He is catching up financially and returning to school to pursue a network specialist certification with the ultimate goal of going into cyber security. He is also wholly financially independent, although he typically hits me up to make a meal for him to take to work almost every day. But I love that and I love seeing him and checking in every day. He also supports his one cat, well, he and Sea Cadet.
  • Beauty – She has changed jobs a couple of times this past year, moved into a income based apartment with a high school friend, and tried a couple of different school programs. She just bought a new car, don’t ask. But does plan to return to school and finish her cosmetology license this spring, thus the need for a car. (Her last one died about 6 months ago.) She is wholly financially independent with the exception of her cell phone which I will continue to cover until she finishes her schooling or quits. She also supports her two cats. (For those that are new, Beauty moved in with us when she was 16. There is no formal adoption agreement, etc. but she is part of the family. She does still have ties and some support from her biological family. There is some difference in how she is treated financially. It is something we have discussed.)
  • Princess – She is finishing up her 1st semester of her sophomore year. This year she became financially responsible for her school costs, living expenses (rent, utilities and groceries,) and any repairs to her car. I continue to cover regular maintenance of her car (oil change and tire rotations,) car insurance, dog food (she took her 15 year old chihuahua to live with her when she moved into her apartment this year), and cell phone bill. She works as much as she can at a large financial institution and has recently been accepted into the investment club at her college.
  • Gymnast – This week he will complete his high school requirements. He has been working at the same restaurant as a server since this summer. His plan is to work a couple of jobs for the next 7 months and then move to Texas once he turns 18. He is financially dependent on me. Like his siblings before with his plan, he is saving money to move out and start life. The only caveat to my support is that I only cover one tank of gas a week and provide no spending money. Otherwise, I continue to cover all his living expenses for the time being. (Since he currently has no plans to attend any post high school schooling, I haven’t determined when my support will end. Although, it will be greatly reduced when he moves out. The kids have always been told that my financial support ended when school ended.)

My dad was recently in town for his brother’s funeral. We enjoyed a very quick visit. (Beauty, not pictured, left early feeling unwell.)

The nest

This leaves me at home, mostly alone, all the time. (Gymnast does still sleep and dress here, but rarely eats at home since his server job feeds him.) Okay, I shouldn’t say I am alone…I still have 6 dogs at home.

I mentioned in a recent post that I have decided to do a few things that will require some money. So I know it’s important I account for those in my budget. It’s time for me to look at that with a whole new eye. I have found that the hardest challenge for me has been food. (I know I’ve written on food alot over the years.) But this time it’s a different problem. I/we rarely go out anymore. More and more, I enjoy my time in the kitchen.

My problem is that going from cooking for 6+ to 1, well, that’s hard. And as a result, I always buy like the kids are all going to come for the meals. When the reality is, we maybe all get together once a month. I’ll have 1 or 2 around once-ish a week. But really it’s just me. (And I still don’t really like left overs so there’s alot of waste.)

Funny story. Last week, with the holidays coming up and anticipating my fiance moving here (this coming weekend that was supposed to happen), I stocked up on meat. Who knows how long it would have sat in my freezer. But then my dad and and Princess ended up coming into town. And the kids all made themselves available for some family time…and I was able to use my giant roast and family pack of cube steak and pork chops.

Ok, I’m rambling now. But my grocery bill is one place I really should cut back. And that’s going to take some thought.

What else should I consider or may be new when creating a budget for a mostly single person?

Today I will

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Part of my healing journey and my mental health care is trying to stay focused on the future and being productive. It is very easy to get caught up in memories and cry fests. (Just ask my dogs, they have been very attuned to my moods and are excellent at surrounding me when I need extra snuggles.)

And to do that I have started my “Today I will” lists. I got this idea from a Tik Toker who is struggling on her own career path and with anxiety and she talks about how seemingly innocuous routines have helped her keep her anxiety in check. While anxiety is not one of my own challenges, losing focus and then becoming unproductive certainly is.

As a result, I am working on creating small routines throughout the day to break up the time I have in my head if you know what I mean. Here’s what I’ve got so far…

Wake up

I use our Home app to have lights come on in the house before the sun. Starting my day before the sun up is a psychological win for me. By the time the sun is up, I am showered, dressed, have greeted the dogs and am ready to start my day. But even more than this, I have begun setting a water bottle (glass that I fill every night) and my vitamins by my bed. I researched the best times to take some of my supplements and what to take them with and I have about 4 that should be taken 30 minutes to 2 hours before you eat. So I sit up, take my supplements, stretch because I’m old and my back hurts, and send my gratitude prayers up before I pad to the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower.

(And this has gotten so much easier since I programmed our thermostat so the heat goes from 62 degrees to 68 degrees about 15 minutes before my lights come on. I wake up to light and warmth. Win!)

By the time, I’m showered, the dogs who sleep in crates are ready to see me. And by that, I mean, they are making noises which are annoying enough to hurry me up to care for them.

On my way

Before I greet the crated dogs, I ask Siri to turn on the lights in my office, stop by to put in my hearing aids, turn on my computer, and complete my I WILL list. Right now this is just a post it note I stick to my computer screen. This is the KEY to my day.

I tune out the whines of the dogs. Shut off my music if I’m playing any. And I sift through my mind for priorities for the day.

These are not work tasks, those all live in my calendar or project management tool. They are not personal/household chores that also live in my project management tool. But they are growth minded, mental health minded. And sometimes, when I get caught up in the emotions swirling, I just need that push to get back in the right mindset. Having these daily goals that put me back on track has made a huge difference.

SOS is a Jasmine Star course. I have been part of her Social Curator for YEARS now and love it. If you want to learn social media, I high recommend. (This image links to her Social Curator, not an affiliate link, just educational.)

Throughout the day, if I get caught up and going down a rabbit hole that is not productive or is self defeating, I re-focus by completing or at least working on one of these items. These typically get me back to work either personally or professionally. And by the end of the day, I have accomplished something outside of work and chores.

Closing out the day

I go to bed early. I am old. And it’s cold. And I like it that way. My kids think I’m crazy.

But the reality is that I am often here alone. I don’t have to cook for anyone very often. And I’m not a TV watcher. So once I am wrapped with work and the dogs are to bed (ie crated ones in their “boxes”), I take my night time supplements and head to my room to get cozy. For the last few months, I have watched Tik Toks til I turned off my light. But that routine has gotten old and is not very productive. Not to mention, these past couple of weeks, I cannot stand to see the relationship related videos and quotes, they just hurt too much.

So I’m switching it up. Instead of entertaining myself with video, I am now reading an Amazon Prime available book on my phone. This keeps me from running up library fines or even having to go to the library anymore. My night time reading is for pleasure rather than work. And I’m finding that I am not up near as long with a book as I was watching videos.

The financial side

Now I know many long time BAD readers are going to say, what does this have to do with getting out of debt. A lot really! The old me would set the world on fire, ie going on a spending spree when my emotions got the best of me. A comfort mechanism. The new one, is 100 focused on becoming debt free, financially free. (If you clicked on my blog link in my last post, you might have seen the domain name is I want more free – that is my goal.)

Creating this micro routines keeps me focused, keeps my mental health stable, and keeps me making good decisions.

At this point, it can only get better. I am believing that and holding on to that.