Blogging Away Debt Blogging Away Debt follows real people on their journey to debt freedom — with tips on the debt snowball, budgeting, cutting expenses, and staying motivated.

by Hope

I haven’t had a moment to sit down and actually read through BAD comments this month. My work load has been off the charts. But I saw one comment in passing and it stuck with me, and resonated on the deepest level. It was something to the effect of “your posts give me whiplash”.

And that is exactly how I have felt lately. I make a decision and then within weeks, if not days, I am second guessing it. And I feel like this has been going on for a couple of years now. My confidence is shot. For so many reasons.

That lack of confidence is adversely affecting so many things. Not just my finances. But also, probably more importantly, my mental health. (And trying to be off the anti-depressants doesn’t help either, I don’t suppose.)

So I recognized this.

And then this morning, I had another epiphany. (I’ve had several of those lately that just hit hard and true.)

How do I spend it?

This morning I met with one of my solo clients (not related to my full time contract job) and delivered a new website. He was thrilled. I do good work exceptionally fast in this case. And he paid me.

Don’t get me wrong, I knew I was going to be paid. And I knew it was going to be soon.

But I hadn’t put this money in my forecast because it was an unexpected job and I just did it over the weekend. An extra $500, of course, I’ll say yes. Especially when it’s something I enjoy doing and it doesn’t require any human interaction. (Yes, that statement is a reflection of some issues too, I know.)

Anyways, my epiphany was this. I didn’t just accept the payment and get started with my real day, my real job. I immediately started thinking of how to use it. How to spend it.

I wrote recently about my biggest failures over the last 7 years. And saving or rather failing to save is top of that list.

So why don’t I just recognize that and do better. Start saving everything.

I’ve got to do better. I’ve got to be better.

Making Changes

You all have been advising me to seeking counseling for a while. I think I’m there.

The first step to a solution is recognizing the problem. I am the problem.

PS – I’ve started the transfer from Venmo with this new income. And it’s going right into savings. Baby steps. 

Hope

Hope is a resourceful, solutions-driven online business manager with over two decades of experience helping clients streamline operations, manage projects, and grow their businesses through digital marketing and technology.

But life has a way of rewriting your plans.

A year ago, Hope made the decision to move in with her aging parents full time – a season she wouldn’t trade, even as it came with its own financial and emotional weight. Earlier this year, she lost her mother, and is now walking the tender, disorienting path of grief while learning what “forward” looks like from here.

Hope came to the Blogging Away Debt community in 2015 as a single mom raising five foster and adoptive children. She’s written through job changes, financial setbacks, and the bittersweet transition to an empty nest. Her kids are finding their footing in the world now – and so is she.

Rooted in faith and fueled by the same perseverance she’s brought to every hard season, Hope is ready to face her finances with fresh eyes and an honest pen. She believes that clarity, courage, and community can change the trajectory of anyone’s story including her own.

She lives in Austin, TX with her dad, loves adventures with her dog Addie, and is figuring out, one step at a time, what this next chapter is meant to be.