by Hope
The bridal shower is complete and here’s what I spent in total:
| Description | Cost |
|---|---|
| Venue | $250 |
| Photographer | $150 |
| Flowers | $196 |
| Food/Drinks | $217 |
| Games/Prizes | $145 |
| Invitations | $33 |
| Travel | $88 |
| Total | $1,079 |
And here’s what I learned:
- Lots of people, evidently, have no notion of RSVP. And even more, have no clue that when they say they are planning to attend, people count on that and spend money as a result.
- People pay no attention to the invitation you send out ie you will get texts just as your event starting with people asking for the address. And you will get calls 1/2 through the event with people asking why you are not at X$%? location…1/2 an hour away from the location listed on the invite.
- When you are doing some like this long distance, it’s going to cost more because you will have to buy things you would typically be able to grab from your house unless you plan in advance and can tote those things with you across the country.
And so much more.
You can probably infer some of the challenges based on those 3 bullet points alone. We sent out 30 invitations. Only 3 RSVP’d.
When we texted the bridesmaids…several said, what does RSVP mean? Thankfully, all the bridesmaids did show and stay for the entire event.
Multiple people communicated to Beauty that they would be coming…none of them did. We planned for about 20. We had 10. (2 that hadn’t RSVP’d and 1 that hadn’t been invited.) It was a blast.
But we had too much…too much food, too much alcohol, too many prizes for games. I’m glad we did it. I’m glad I went and conquered my nerves. But phew, I’m so glad it’s behind us!
Now the countdown to the wedding.
Beauty and the faux bouquets everyone made as one of the games
Hope is a resourceful and solutions-driven business manager who has spent nearly two decades helping clients streamline their operations and grow their businesses through project management, digital marketing, and tech expertise. Recently transitioning from her role as a single mom of five foster/adoptive children to an empty nester, Hope is navigating the emotional and practical challenges of redefining her life while maintaining her determination to regain financial control and eliminate debt.
Living in a cozy small town in northeast Georgia with her three dogs, Hope cherishes the serenity of the mountains over the bustle of the beach. Though her kids are now finding their footing in the world—pursuing education, careers, and independence—she remains deeply committed to supporting them in this next chapter, even as she faces the bittersweet tug of letting go.
Since joining the Blogging Away Debt community in 2015, Hope has candidly shared her journey of financial ups and downs. Now, with a renewed focus and a clear path ahead, she’s ready to tackle her finances with the same passion and perseverance that she’s brought to her life and career. Through her writing, she continues to inspire others to confront their own financial challenges and strive for a brighter future.
Hope this makes me so sad. $1,000 when you’re in the financial position that you’re in… for a party that 10 people attended? If you were going to spend $1k on this event, that money could’ve been better spent by just writing Beauty a check that would help her and her future hubs establish their married life as adults.
A photographer? A $$ venue??? $200 on flowers? That’s an extravagant bridal shower for many people, let alone someone on the verge of homelessness. I pray for you often.
I find the venue the least egregious cost- without a home to host it in, you gotta find somewhere. She will have a reason as always as to why over 1k was justifiable.
Agree that the photographer is a head scratcher (and I’ve been to many millionaire bridal showers – my extended family and most childhood friends are quite wealthy). I don’t want to come down hard on this because I know Hope threw this shower with her whole heart in it… but man, consultation before spending is important. If ANYONE had been asked, they would have said no to most of this. Professional flowers at a bridal shower?
All that said, I am deeply sorry about the poor attendance and agree that manners have gone out the window. It hurts to have no shows on a big day. It is AWFUL throwing events in 2025. People will cancel for any reason and are told to say no for mental health reasons… YES, 100% say no for mental health reasons, but not at the last minute, unless it’s truly an emergency. I have been on the planning side of things a few times in the last few years and it’s been a nightmare. My sisters’ bridal showers and weddings were major WTF moments as people flaked without explanation for things at the last minute. And I’m talking people who did RSVP to a formal sit down wedding reception! Needless to say, I will never spend my own money on such things. NEVER.
Beauty’s dress is beautiful and I hope she felt all the love. She’s lucky to have you, Hope.
That is unfortunate that folks did not attend even after over spending.
I grew up in the land of big families and enormous showers.
Never ever ever have I heard of hiring a photographer for a shower. I AM a photographer and no one does this.
How do you not understand you are in dire financial condition at your age? And to not just overspend, but throw a shower that has options a rich person wouldn’t even have?
never have been to a bridal shower with a photographer and alcohol. Usually the bridesmaids buy inexpensive gifts for games. You could have texted or called those who didn’t respond. The flowers, Hope you need to stop before you are living on the streets or your car.
Such unnecessary spending and at a time when you can’t afford it. Again, why didn’t you ask for suggestions from people here before the event to get guidance? My best guess is because while you say you want to be held accountable, you really don’t.
You cannot undo the instability (financial, housing or otherwise) your children experienced in their childhood by overspending now. What you are doing is sabotaging their future by increasing the likelihood that you will be financially dependent on them due to your poor fiscal planning for yourself.
Hope, Beauty’s name is in the picture. You might wish to edit it out and then feel free to erase my comment.
There is such a tendency when you don’t have money to want to do BIG THINGS for your kids. I’ve been in that position, where you feel they are missing out — “all their friends” have better toys/cars/vacations.
But it is interesting, then, to see what they don’t spend on. As others have mentioned, people with money still don’t have a photographer at a bridal shower, or spend almost $200 on flowers. I felt like we were really extravagant with our bridal showers (three daughters), but it was probably $300 at most for any one of the showers — and we could have spent less.
Sending good thoughts, Hope. But this kind of over-the-top spending just seems ridiculous.
Photographer?!? Ask a guest to click a few. $150 crazy! Wasn’t best use of your funds on these expenses, sadly. But I’m sure daughter was grateful.
What’s done is done, and I hope you had a wonderful time. I do agree with others that the photographer is a head scratcher, and that amount for flowers. Gosh, for 10 guests it would’ve been cheaper just to go out for lunch or dessert and tea at a restaurant.
Agreed. Unfortunately, I had no way of knowing that it would only be 10. We sent over 30 invitations and if all invited had come it would have been closer to 60. Definitely didn’t expect 60, but thought at least 20. Lesson learned.
Hope,
Congrats of getting down to just your student loans for your debt. Yes, your net worth is still negative but it’s trending in the right direction. As long as you can still make your savings goals I see no reason why you cannot do this 1 time event. Could you have done it cheaper? Yes absolutely. However, we have no idea if it was your idea for the extra stuff or your daughters. I can certainly understand choosing to spoil her for an event she has been dreaming of for years.
However, you cannot afford to make a habit out of this type of spending.
Hope’s net worth is not trending in the right direction. It was higher by over $10k when she still owned her home. Before she blew a bunch of the proceeds on her kids. Have you not been reading the blog for long?
100% agree. It was a fun experience. But I did learn a lot. And since my only other daughter Princess was a part of it, I think we both came away with lots of knowledge for when/if she ever gets married.
But I’m also really tightening my belt as well.