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A Little Christmas Humble Pie

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I can’t eat. Seriously, hardly a thing. It’s easier than throwing up. I’m losing weight I don’t have to lose at this point and I’m hungry…and angry. I have a list of things I can’t eat. It’s so long, I jokingly asked for a list of things I CAN eat. Surely it must be shorter. Doctors don’t seem to get my gallows humor.

It’s made me grumpy. I generally eat healthy but I like the idea that I can eat whatever I want if I felt like it. Those days are gone.
We had to cancel the trip to Kansas over Thanksgiving to visit my sister since on the morning we were scheduled to leave, one of the kids was barfing. I was devastated. Paired with my food problems (did I mention I’m losing my hair too?!? Because that’s fun), I ‘perhaps’ wasn’t a pleasant person. We had no food in the house since we had planned to be out of town. Chris had to run to the store to pick up groceries and a Thanksgiving meal.

He was gone three hours.

I was sick. Again. I was angry. Why did he have to be gone three hours?!?! He called 2 hours and 45 minutes after he left. ‘Can you eat green beans?’ he asked. I looked at the mile long list, ‘uh yeah, I think so!’

‘I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long babe. I really want to make sure I’m not buying stuff you can’t eat and I’m not used to it. It’s taking a while. I’ll be home as soon as possible’

I hung up the phone.

I’d been so angry. Imagining him slowly slurping a Starbucks, eating the pumpkin loaf I love so much that’s on the ‘naughty list’, walking down the aisles enjoying time away from the kids. Instead, he was diligently reading every label. Finding things I can eat.

Myopically, I threw that away to focus on the misery I’m feeling. Forgetting that I picked a good one. Friends, I picked a good one. In sickness and in health. Pick a good one.

We’re all going through stuff. We all have things to deal with. It’s Christmas. Hug the ‘good ones’ in your life. The gifts don’t matter. The love you show does.

Show it.


3 Comments

  • Reply Stacy |

    I feel like I missed something somewhere…….what are you sick with? I’m confused!! lol!

    • Reply Beks |

      I got hit with some serious health issues in early November. While not life threatening, they are serious and with long term implications. I’m still reeling a bit. Still figuring things out. Still figuring out how to move forward with my ‘new normal’.

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