by Hope
My mental well-being has been challenged in ways that I have never experienced before and I am struggling on every front as a result. It has affected my parenting, my work, my finances, my decision making…my whole entire existence. (Yes, it is related to my now 4 year old relationship.)
As a result, I have spent money I had no plans to spend…two trips out of town. One literally decided and planned the same day.
I am fighting to keep my faith and joy in a relationship that has been so strong and such a pivotal turn in my life, but I am drowning at the same time.
Emotions overwhelm me and I’m so isolated when it comes to “adult” stuff. This has been really, really hard. Like walking through a fog all the time.
I can relate so well to Beks recent posts on stress spending, aloneness and such. While I haven’t really shopped, I have certainly spent money that I didn’t plan on and more than that, without any type of planning.
Every day I feel like I’m going to bounce back and be myself again, take on my to do list that is so far behind and catch up at work. And every day, I fail. Like miserably.
I’ve cut my hair off (see picture above), thanks to my daughter who is in cosmetology school.
I cancelled the unused gym membership.
I’ve opened and closed my budget worksheet so many times that it’s just stupid.
I’m floundering, big time.
But I’ll get through this too. Just wanted to jump on and let you know the reason for my MIA status. Prayers appreciated. I’m slowly making my way back to being me again.
Hope is a creative, solutions-focused business manager helping clients grow their business and work more efficiently by leveraging expertise in project management, digital marketing, & tech solutions. She’s recently become an empty nester as her 5 foster/adoptive kids have spread their wings. She lives with her 5 dogs in a small town in NE Georgia and prefers the mountains to the beaches any day. She struggles with the travel bug and is doing her best to help each of her kids as their finish schooling and become independent (but it’s hard!) She has run her own consulting company for almost twenty years! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally in a place to really focus on making wise financial decisions.
Hang in there Hope. I think almost everyone has gone through this in the last 18 months at one time or another and can relate. Try to do one thing for yourself everyday. Even if that one thing that day is getting out of bed and putting real clothes on. Or going for a walk. Like everything in time, this too shall pass.
First off, that haircut looks phenomenal! Your daughter has found her calling and she has the loveliest model to show case her skills.
Second, hugs for your relationship situation. Do you have a church community to lean into? If not, perhaps this weekend would be a good one to sneak into the back row somewhere and let the music wash over you.
Look, as long as you didn’t go further into debt, are paying bills (including debt payments) on time and recognize the not great emotional decisions you made but are working to change direction, okay. I think we’ve all been there. Take some time to grieve but quit spending money now! Don’t make it worse….
IF a relationship does not serve you, then it is time to let it go. A hard decision to make but it needs to sometimes be done. I hope you can start your journey towards healing again.
Sending virtual hugs your way Hope. I hope things look up for you soon.
Hope,
There must be something in the air because it seems a lot of us are having a hard time right now.
I keep telling myself it will get better. I just want to know when.
Hang in there. Prayers.
Love your hair! Sending hugs and prayers.
I have followed your story on this blog a long time. One thing I can say is that you have always given 100% to building a better life for you and your family! Sometimes we debate about how to spend money on this blog, but in the grand scheme of things, obviously that’s not what is important. Do you, and pat yourself on the back once in a while for all the things you have given to others. Don’t sweat it. You will be fine in the long run! Prayers and best of things to you and your family. Take a moment to look back at where you were, and where you are now. Then, smile.