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You know you are overwhelmed and taking on too much when…


You mark down that you paid it. Watch for the payment to come out of your bank account. And wonder why they are taking so long to deposit it.

But have really failed to pay your utility bill – your gas, water, sewage and trash pick up bill (all in one.) Yup, just discovered this morning that I failed to send the payment.


Jumped on my bill pay app real quick and scheduled payment for this Thursday, but I’m sure I will incur a late fee since I think it was due on the 10th.

And the thing is, I turn things green when I have the exact amount due. And then I turn them yellow when I’ve scheduled payment. So I know what is owed and outgoing and upcoming at any given moment.

But I really dropped the ball here! I would like to blame it on the crazy of working, driving Princess to and from and caretaking for my mom and grandmother the last two weeks. But my mom arrived on the 9th, so really I should have scheduled this payment before that. (At least that’s what I recollect.)

But I will tell you what…caretaking is not for the faint of heart. Or the impatient. Or the over-tired. But it has been good in many senses too. This is the most time I’ve spent with my mom in years. And even though she is loopy at times…her first question when I arrived was “where did I sleep last night?” And yesterday she was talking to my dad…and waving at him, and he is in Texas. It has been good.

And I’ve just got to make it through this week until things will go back to “normal.” Now I’m off to double check all my other “paid” bills to make sure I actually have scheduled payment.

PS – My grandmother came through her 4 hour surgery just fine, they removed 4 teeth and part of her gums and jaw. She will be on a “no chewing” diet for a while. Thankfully it is soup season. And the doctor is hopeful he got all the cancer.


  • Reply Chasity |

    Hope, Caregivers are often taken for granted. Your quite right it isn’t for the faint of heart. Its demanding in every aspect. I have been a CNA for 5 years now and thank God every day I haven’t had any family members in poor enough health to need one. When I clock into my shift as a CNA, I focus on my patients and then after my shift I go home. When your caring for a loved one there are few breaks if you have a good support system. The problem I find is often the loved one’s care falls entirely on one person’s shoulders with no respite. Burn out is unreal. Try to take a few minutes for yourself every day. I’m sending love and hugs from sc!

  • Reply Shanna |

    Caregiving is super hard. Hang in there. Good on you for watching your account and being aware it had not yet paid out!

    • Reply Kili |

      Hi Hope,
      Glad you realized the missing payment before the water was turned off (or is that just a thing in the movies?!)
      Would it help to see up automated payments?

  • Reply Angie |

    Thank you for taking on this challenging time. Caregiving is difficult and can stir up a lot of emotions too. You have a wonderful heart.

    As for your bill payments. Do you feel you have enough savings/flex in your income that you feel comfortable signing up for autopay yet? You can still keep a payment spreadsheet and verify all your bills the same way. But you’ll ensure you never miss a payment and incur a late fee. Also, try calling and explaining that it must have been a computer fluke (I’m guessing you didn’t hit confirm or something). If you haven’t had late payments in the past, most companies will waive the fee the first time.

  • Reply Ellen |

    Caretaking is definitely not for the weak. My mother and I took care of my grandmother for the final year of her life. There were times where I would come home at night and just break down. She started with reverting back to a child. She would sing and dance like I had never seen. She had full on dementia and it got to the point where she was just a shell. She didn’t speak, she had to be walked assisted, and she would stare at nothing. We had to feed her, change her, bathe her, clothe her, etc. Honestly, when my mother called me to tell me she had passed in her sleep, I was at peace with it. I always felt like she was in there and it killed her to not be able to say or do what she wanted.

  • Reply Sara |

    I’m so sorry, Hope. Caregiving is so taxing emotionally and physically! When I went to help when my dad was on hospice, I realized just how much my mom had been handling herself. Hang in there.

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